


Sapphire; Color of the Sea

by Tak138



Series: Sapphire & His Lady [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: BDSM, Canes, Caning, Corporal Punishment, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Femdom, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light Sadism, Master/Pet, Master/Servant, Master/Slave, Mistress, Punishment, Sadism, Submissive Male, Take a shot every time Sapphire says 'my Lady', more like a medium burn, you'll die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-07-12 01:44:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 62,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15984947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tak138/pseuds/Tak138
Summary: Lady Vysehna, newly declared emissary for the Crown, must set out across the sea on her first mission. A simple ten week voyage, made all the longer by by an unwelcome gift.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To be 100%, I have no direction with this story. I've just had the general idea in my head for a long time, so I decided to finally commit some of it to a document. It's been a long time since I've written anything substantial, so my style may seem a little disjointed or repetitive. I would definitely appreciate some feedback!

“Absolutely not.” 

 

Vysehna thrust the sealed envelope back into her uncle’s hand, a scowl already forming on her features. She had expected an retinue, a party to swell the streets, but not this. Her uncle made a face to mirror her own, holding the envelope like it held a grievous insult, his gaze going gooey like she were merely a petulant child. Temper flaring and feathers ruffled, Vysehna was already struggling not to prove him right.

 

“You’re being brash,”the man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as Vysehna held in her scoff. “You need someone who--”

 

“Your men are honorable, are they not? I don’t need protecting.”

 

A sigh. Heavy and long-suffering. “The men are good, yes. But you may grow weary of their company. You need a proper companion, especially on such a long trip.”

 

“Uncle.” Vysehna gave her own sigh. He thought she needed a proper companion, so he was gifting her a half mute, blank slated whore. Sometimes she wondered if the King’s mind was aging faster than his body. King Sanyr only shook his head and held the envelope out for her to take. It was little more than a single sheet of paper, folded and sealed with the royal mark. The boy was his, and if she took that envelope he would be hers. 

 

The King and his niece stood in a glittering hall, along the west end of the palace. The windows were tall, baring the marble corridor in golden light. In the harbor down below, ships were being prepared. Her envoy for the trip down the lengthy Sea of Nuhr, three ships packed to the brim with supplies and men alike. They would leave as soon as the sky turned the next day, before much of the city would be awake. Vysehna was making her round of farewells when her uncle had appeared, offering her the letter with little more than a flash of teeth. She had taken it, foolishly, before the King had made a comment on how  _ he _ would definitely be of use. 

 

It wasn’t that she dissented with the treatment of slaves. No, Vysehna was no naive damsel, weeping over the strife of others. She wasn’t above disciplining a mouthy servant. But this was her chance to prove herself, in the wake of her blooming cousins. It would have no merit if she was supervised the whole while.

 

Clearing his throat, the King waved said envelope around in the air, turning that weary look to her once more as he said, “I have no use for the boy any longer. As willing to serve as he is, some people just aren’t suited to being steward. Vysehn-- he’s quiet, he isn’t going to be a bother. He will be more of a pet than anything.”

 

“A pet,”Vysehna echoed distastefully. “That’s hardly any better.”

 

“By my blood and glory--”the King shook his head again. “Vys, I beg you. Just for the trip. I trust my men, but I trust him more. The men will grow antsy by the end of the trip, they may not be as focused as they were in the beginning. But  _ he _ will not. You will be the center of his focus. If, upon your return, his presence still disturbs you, you can simply hand him back. Just take him for now.”

 

There was a catch in his voice that gave Vysehna draw up short. This was concern, something that had rarely been afforded to her since she had come into the King’s care. And that… made sense. It was her first voyage, first trek away from the palace without her uncle at her back. It made sense that he feared for her safety, no matter the situation, given her status as his newly appointed emissary. It was warming nonetheless. Now, what a whore could do in place of a dozen highly trained men, she didn’t know. The look in King Sanyr’s eye was enough to make her reconsider her position. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be a chaperone, maybe he was. Maybe the King just cared to see her return safe. Both the latter and the former seemed like equally bleary mirages. She didn’t know what to do with it.

 

They stood in the sunlight for a minute, a minute and a half. The setting sun swathed her uncle in shadows and gilded the envelope in gold. Well, if she had been waiting for a sign from the gods, that certainly seemed like one. 

 

Vysehna snatched the envelope back, her displeasure written solidly across the plane of her face; all ruffled feathers and raw nerves. King Sanyr just grinned.

 

* * *

 

Now, the sky was dark. Dawn was just beginning to turn the horizon milky, the city still mostly in shadow. The only noise came from the ships themselves, bustling like little ant hills down in the port. They approached slowly, Vysehna and her uncle on horseback, with only a small cluster of guards to accompany them through town. And the whore, unfortunately he was there too. Dressed to the neck in finery, more than one would expect to see on even the most beloved harem pets, walked dutifully along her side. He was beautiful, she would admit that much. Even in the meager light, the man’s eyes glistened, offset by the plait of ebony hair dangling across his shoulders. 

 

His name was Sapphire, after the wicked blue of his eyes, and thus far he had failed to make even the slightest expression. He had appeared at her door this morning, those eyes downcast, and had quietly told her it was time to leave. And then had asked for her trunk. He still carried it in his arms, along with his own, much smaller pack slung over a shoulder. His breathing remained even and light the whole way. Evidently, the man was more lithe than scrawny. Vysehna thought of the letter of ownership now tucked away in said trunk, with her signature now scrawled along the inside. Sapphire, and all his alabaster skin, was hers. It was an odd feeling, not wholly unpleasant, though it was certainly soured by the notion that this was likely just a show of the King’s distrust in her. But owning someone on it’s own, seeing him carry her items-- unnecessarily, mind you-- was warming. Like the day before, she didn’t know what to do with it. With any luck, he would prove to be a decent companion as her uncle had promised. If he was any sort of nuisance, Vysehna thought she may just leave him in the first port they stopped in. 

 

The ships, named for great queens of the ancient empire, had been scrubbed to sparkles. The decks were all glittering in the low light, the sails crisp ivory, and the men had received new uniforms specifically for this mission. How well they would appear after ten weeks at sea, Vysehna didn't know. His would she fair, fo that matter. She had only been on quick, week long trips up until that point. Hopefully there was enough to keep her mind occupied and wiry. 

 

She and her uncle bid each other a final, curt goodbye before Vysehna boarded, with Sapphire on her heels. Captain Rainier stood on the deck, his weather-worn features warming as he took her hand and offered a simple bow.

 

“My Lady,”the Captain greeted her, helping in Vysehna's step over the side. Sapphire was given no such assistance, nor were the rest of the servants carrying the last of their supplies.

 

“Captain Rainier. You're looking well.” And he did. The aging at his temples was no more than a dusting of silver among deep auburn, and the lines carved into his skin were somehow softer than the last time they had seen each other, maybe four or five years ago. The man's eyes ran her up and down, drinking her in, and then they flicked to Sapphire as the man came to stand at her back. 

 

“I see His Highness sent along his pet.” 

 

Vysehna released a heavy sigh and turned to peer at Sapphire over her shoulder. “For company, so he says.” She waved her hand dismissively. “His contract currently belongs to me, however. But I suspect I’m going to be handing him over as soon as we return.”

 

Narrowing his eyes, the Captain seemed to behold Sapphire in a new light, no warmer than a viper. Sapphire was silent, as always, with his eyes on the ground. He was taller than the both of them, but with his hunched in shoulders and bowed head, Sapphire seemed no more assuming than a dormouse.

 

At length, the Captain nodded his acceptance. “As you say, Lady.” He looked back to Vysehna and those honey eyes warmed again, a slow smile creeping over his weather-worn features. “You remember where your quarters are?” Vysehna nodded easily, her heart swelling at the thought of that room. It had been her home for many years, all but shunned from her uncle’s palace. Until her aunt had stepped in, that is.

 

Said quarters were under the quarter deck, down a thin hall, and directly across from the Captain. And while the wood panelled corridor felt and smelled like home, the addition of Sapphire at her back was not a pleasant one. Servants and slaves had been in the rooms before, of course, but this felt wrong. Like a turtle without its shell. Sapphire certainly would not be sharing her quarters.

 

* * *

  
  


At her command, Sapphire placed her trunk at the foot of her bed and unlatched its lid, as unwinded as a plow horse. 

 

Distantly, Vysehna thanked him, and waved her hand. “Dismissed.” Wanting to study a little further on their potential allies, she retrieved several tomes from the trunk. But when she turned back around, Sapphire was still there, looking lost.

 

“I believe the slaves and servants are housed in the belly of the ship. You should be able to find ample space there,”Vysehna told him, her voice sharpening. Was he deaf? 

 

Tentatively, Sapphire dipped his head. “I was instructed to stay by your side as much as possible, my Lady.” Hackles rising, Vysehna reeled to face him head on. Sapphire relented a single step, but remained focused on the ground.

 

“Instructed by whom, exactly? The King?”

 

His throat bobbed. “Yes, my Lady.”

 

“And who holds your contract at this very moment?”

 

“You, my Lady.” Sapphire preened under her glare, running a hand down the curve of his braided hair. “You hold my contract.”

 

Lady Vysehna nodded, and dropped her books on the nearby desk with a resounding smack. “So when I tell you to leave, who should you listen to?”

 

Silence. Sapphire was unable to answer, his hands trembling at her side. It was… wretched, that the fear she inspired in the normally blank-slated man satisfied her to such an extent. Sapphire had been at her uncle’s side ever since she began her emissary training, and never one had the man even winces. Perhaps something had changed over the recent months. Vysehna allowed her shoulders to sag then, and gave Sapphire a second gesture to vanish. This time, he only hesitated a heartbeat.


	2. Chapter 2

Lunch came before Vysehna realized it. Their send off had been simple, and no one bothered with ceremony, and the lulling rock of the boat making it easy to stay focused. It was only when there was a knock on the door that she was knocked out of the pages. Unsurprisingly, it was Sapphire standing beyond, head bowed, with a tray of food balanced across his two arms. The scent of roasted cod and steamed vegetables filled the room, and in an instant her stomach grumbled in response.

 

“I didn't call for anything.”

 

“I know, my Lady,”he breathed, shuffling in. “this is what the Captain suggested you would would like. His Highness mentioned you and the Captain had been close, so I chose to trust his advice. I apologize if--”

 

Vysehna only shook her head and gestured for Sapphire to bring it in, mouth watering already. “No, this is perfect. Just set it down.” Sapphire compiled, as graceful and delicate as any feline, setting the wooden tray on the circular table against the broad window. No sooner than Vysehna sat did he sink to the floor, ramrod straight and arms clasped at his back. Formal and poised. No surprise; if her uncle had intended to train him as a steward

 

“My Lady, I apologize for my behavior earlier,”the lithe man hedged as she took her first bite. “I will obey you promptly from now forward, as I should have.” 

 

Vysehna blinked, fork still in her mouth, and frowned around it. She pulled it out and set it on the plate, giving Sapphire her full gaze. “Was bringing me lunch just your means of making up for your misplaced loyalty?”

 

A twitch, of his arms and mouth. “No, my Lady. I was doing my best to anticipate your needs. I thought you might regret not eating.”

 

Part of her wanted to think it was a lie, but she had a hard time believing that Sapphire even had an ounce of self preservation. He certainly didn't behave like it. More a mindless pet than a man, more likely to carry her things than remember his own name He had likely been a slave most of his life, if not all of it; how would one maintain any sense of self after spending so long in service to another? 

 

“Well,”Vysehna sighed at last, piercing another chunk of fish with her fork. “Thank you then, I suppose. Well done.” Another flash of  _ something _ across his face, shock or fear or uncertainty, she couldn't distinguish. 

 

“Thank you, my Lady.”

 

Vysehna nodded, swiping a few loose strands of hair from her brow. “Did you eat?”

 

“No, my Lady.”

 

Vysehna dropped her fork to the plate and sighed, twisting to glare down at the meddlesome mutt on her floor, “Why on earth not? You were  _ in _ the kitchen!” Sapphire jerked, the snipe seeming to resound through him like a physical blow.

 

“I'm sorry, my Lady,”the pet swallowed, now looking anywhere but her direction. “I didn't-- you were displeased with me, I thought you would forbid it anyways.” Vysehna straightened, her eyes turning to slits as she fully took him in, perhaps for the first time. He was handsome, in a way. If you could ignore the absence of anything but the occasional flash of terror behind his eyes. Definitely suited to a lord’s harem, she thought wryly. His hair, plaited as it was, hang nearly to the middle of his back, bound with a simple silver cord that echoed the edgings of his suit. Barely any of that moon white skin showed beyond the sleeves and high neckline. Even down to his boots, his form was swallowed by the dark satin. The outfit of a whore belonging to a possessive man; it was probably ingrained into his bone by now. Not to mention Sapphire was probably sweating out ninety percent of his body’s water, even down here, but somehow look no worse for wear.

 

“Were you denied meals in the palace?” 

 

His brow creasing marginally, Sapphire dipped his head. “Any slave that didn’t meet His Highness’ standards was subject to punishment, my Lady.”

 

Vysehna couldn’t suppress a little huff. “Don’t deflect. How often?”

 

“Frequently, my Lady.”

 

“You caused that much trouble?”

 

For a moment, Sapphire looked lost for an answer, his jaw working silently for a minute. A long one. Finally, her charge sucked in a breath. “I was unable to meet His Highness’ standards more often than not. That he kept me along for so long was… merciful, and I am grateful for it.” 

 

Vysehna leaned back in her chair, brows raised. Merciful wasn’t what she would have called it. The king, her uncle through her father’s line, wasn’t ‘merciful’ so much as he was too stubborn to not get get his way. It was a wonder he didn’t grind Sapphire until his mind couldn’t take it anymore. Sanyr wasn’t abusive, not per se, but the only fatherly love she had received upon falling into her Uncle’s care came from Captain Rainier. Most of her adolescent years had been spent on his ship at behest of her Uncle, who hadn’t wanted to bother with his brother’s orphan any more than he had to. That is, until Queen Consort Eliza has pushed to finally bring her back to the palace, so Vysehna could finally reclaim some sort of rank. Thus had begun endless hours of emissary training, something her temper definitely was  _ not _ suited for. Which her uncle certainly had taken notice of, and that was probably why she was currently on a mission of little consequence. 

 

Eliza had been… better. Kinder, a dutifully aunt and caretaker. She was mother hen down to her very soul; Vysehna wished she could regard her aunt with less resentment than what she felt. But the Gaelyn had been her home for many years, and Eliza was the only reason she had been brought back. 

 

The day was beginning to grow heavy, weighing on her bones as her thoughts stirred up unwanted silt. Vysehna sighed, and glanced down at the meal on her plate. “When was the last time you ate?”she asked Sapphire. 

 

Yet another flash of expressions she couldn’t-- didn’t care to-- read, before Sapphire shifted slightly. “Yesterday evening, my Lady.”

 

Vysehna felt her face begin to warm, suddenly recalling the half hour that Sapphire had carried her trunk, no form of complaint on his lips. He wasn’t probably dying inside, between that and the heat. A glance at the clock told her that meal time was probably almost up, if things had remained the same over the past few years. “Then I suggest you hurry back to the kitchens,”she said carefully, at last picking up another bite of her meal. “Perhaps if you pout enough, they’ll offer you the leftovers.”

 

With no large amount of surprise, Vysehna marked no hesitation this time.

  
  


* * *

 

Sapphire’s manners were impeccable. Vysehna was watching, out of pure intrigue, as her charge ate as delicately as any royal lady. Every bite was slowly chewed, and every sip of water was quiet and short. It was almost amusing, considering he had to be starving. His pout had evidently worked, given the generous helping of potatoes and vegetables that accompanied a small strip of fish. With her own meal finished before her, Vysehna lounged back in her chair, one leg over the other and a fingernail in between her teeth. Her etiquette instructor would have been livid, and Queen Eliza probably would have fussed and fretted over her choice of a pair of high waisted trousers and loose fitted shirt. 

 

But for once, for these next ten weeks, those things were of no consequence. She would be able to sit, swear, drink, and do as she pleased. And Vysehna had every intention of enjoying it. 

 

It wasn’t until Sapphire glanced her way that she had been staring rather intently, probably making the man nervous, and Vysehna forced herself to glance away. He was intriguing, in some off and unusual way. Pets and servants weren’t something she often busied herself with. They cleaned her rooms and her laundry, but Vysehna had no further need for them. She didn’t even need them for  _ that _ . The crew was largely independent, especially for a ship in the royal navy. There were maybe two dozen slaves in total, which was a small number for such an enormous ship. But all they really did was cook, clean some of the lower decks, and occasionally launder for some of the more important guests. The crew did all of their own work, cleaned their quarters and mended their clothes. Switching to the palace life had been quite the culture shock to say the least. There, Vysehna had been tripping over all of the help, losing her patience with all them within the first week. 

 

That was almost how it was now, with Sapphire. Though tall, he was no wider than she herself, and knelt on the floor like this he was no more a threat than the cats that patrolled the decks for mice. But as curious as she might have been about him, Vysehna certainly had no intention of allowing him to take up more space than necessary. The quarters were not large enough for the two of them at all hours; she needed breathing room.

 

Having grown tired of sitting, Vysehna pushed herself to her feet and strolled the short distance to her trunk with the intention of emptying her trunk; she had only packed them haphazardly at best, and Vysehna didn’t really care for wrinkles. Sapphire’s gaze followed her step the whole way to the bed until his chin was crossed over his shoulder, and the woman had to hold in a sigh.

 

“My Lady,”Sapphire hedge, setting down his cup and already making to rise, “I allow me, I can--” 

 

Vysehna didn’t allow him to finish that sentence, merely waving it away like smoke. “Be quiet and finish your meal. I have no need for you.” When something nervous flickered across his face, Vysehna tacked on a displeased, “Not right now, anyways.” It didn’t sound soothing enough, even to her ears, but Sapphire looked back to his food nonetheless. 

 

The knobs of the armoire were familiar, as were the creaking and groaning from the floorboard, as she put everything away. The enormous suite she had had in the palace would never feel like home in the wake of this solid, quaint little room. It was ironic, Vysehna thought. She had been born in a castle, might have gone on to become a countess if she remained the sole heir of her bloodline, and yet she preferred the ship. Granted, Vysehna didn’t remember much of the estate where she and her kin had lived; the Gaelyn held a much more cozy place in her heart.

 

When everything was put away, the trunk hidden away under the bed and the rest of the books tucked onto the shelves, Vysehna made a quick trip back to the table to begin gathering her dishes. Sapphire became aware as soon as she turned to face him, his posture shifting marginally. He was like a slumbering cat; the picture of peace one moment and on full alert the next. It was irritating. 

 

No. That wasn’t quite right. Vysehna’s last few years had been empty of anything but her classes. She took her meals alone, paced alone, and had only met with her relatives when they made time. There were no ladies in waiting, no suitors, no friends, and certainly no pets. Being the center of someone’s world was warming, like a hot bath after walking in the snow. Having the power, having him  _ know _ it, and stare at her like she could pluck the sun from the sky was so deeply satisfying. It made the absence of everything grossly evident, but it was like a balm. A weak one, cheaply made, but it soothed some of her aches for now. 

 

If having someone dog her steps wasn’t so displeasing, Vysehna might have actually kept him in her room. 

 

He was still staring when she turned back around, tray in hand. It might not have counted as staring, since he never looked at her face, but was still odd all the same. With a sigh, Vysehna took a knee and set the tray down with a hearty thunk, much to his obvious shock, and  began to Sapphire’s plates alongside the others.

 

“So,”She sighed, to hide Sapphire’s quiet startled breathing, “Did my uncle always keep you at hand like this?”

 

Still he didn’t look at her, and even dipped his head further. Awkwardly clearing his throat, Sapphire said, “At first, my Lady. He... wished for me to learn how to act as a proper steward, and as such I always had to be nearby. If I was far, I was likely to make a mistake.”

 

“What made him change his mind?”

 

A pause, longer than any before. Vysehna almost reiterated her question, but Sapphire at last found his voice. “I displeased him,”the man told her, no more than an empty breath. “He came to see I was unsuited to stand at his side. I was… a black mark, as His Highness said. He had an image to hold up, and I would be a bothersome stain.”

 

That was… upsetting. Vysehna rocked back to sit on her haunches, her brow furrowing.

 

“A bothersome stain?” she echoed. Sapphire nodded quietly. A cold hand squeezed her heart. That was a wretched thing to tell anyone, even a slave; how far gone was this man that he didn’t even sound sad? “Because you were a whore?”

 

“Because I… yes.” He released a heaving breath, shoulders slumping. “I believe several of his closer allies and supporters became aware of it, and His Highness thought it best I be given other objectives.” That sounded just like the King. His crown prince could barely maintain his attention, how on earth could a slave hope to?

 

“So he gave you to me?” A nod. The hand clenched tighter. “And if I choose to give you away when I return?”

 

“I don’t know, my Lady. High Highness assured me that he had other places for me if you refused my service.”

 

Vysehna felt her face go red again, and the hand holding her chest gave way to hot anger. “How long were you with my uncle?”

 

Sapphire swallowed, his teeth catching on the curve of his plump lower lip. “Almost five years now, my Lady.”

 

“Did you remain chaste that entire time?”

 

If her kneeling had taken him by surprise, the question completely blindsided him. His head snapped up fast enough to give him whiplash, and Sapphire looked at her with those bright eyes of his for the first time, his pale cheeks flushed a stark contrasting red. Distantly, Vysehna realized they were more beautiful than she ever could have imagined.

 

“I couldn’t,”Sapphire told her, his voice rough. “His Highness never-- never told them I wasn’t allowed to. When a… when a superior called on me, I was obligated to comply. I’m sorry if you were misled.”

 

She couldn’t even think to reprimand him for the eye contact, focused wholy on the matter at hand. “I had been,”replied Vysehna. “My uncle gave the impression that you had only been a whore previously.”

 

The stricken look on Sapphire’s lovely face was possibly the worst thing she had ever witnessed. For a moment, he didn’t look like a man. For just a single heartbeat, he looked like a lost child, drenched in shame and fear. Tipping forward, Sapphire pressed his forehead to the ground. “I’m so sorry my Lady,”he whined. “My Lady, my-- my Mistress, I’m sorry. If I had known, that you had been misled I would have-- have said something. It wasn’t my intention to lie to you, I swear.”

 

Vysehna couldn’t help but pity the man. Usually so firm and silent, seeing Sapphire quiver and whine on the floor twisted her insides in such a foreign way. Like a battered and broken animal, whimpering at her feet. But there was also something else; that same enjoyment from before. She could cast him out. She could make him act as a whore for anyone on the crew and no one could do anything about it. If she so felt the need, Vysehna could take a belt to his back, and all Sapphire could do would be to suffer. No one would stop her. It was only a matter of what she wanted to do. 

 

“Mistress,”Sapphire spoke again, his voice weak and wavering. “My Lady, I promise being a whore won’t affect my service to you. If you don’t want me to act as one, I won’t. I can still--  I still trained under the King, I can still be an loyal asset to you. I swear it.”

 

Slowly, Vysehna put her hand on his head. A half pat that turned the slave to stone, his entire body suspended. The terror was thrumming through him, a constant pulse beneath her touch. Sapphire’s hair was soft, and fine, the beautiful strip of ebony curled along his shoulders. He must have been incredibly expensive she thought in silence; the King must have really wanted him.

 

“Very well,”Vysehan murmured. She clenched her hand, taking his hair in a gentle hold. Tugging, but not a demand. The power pounded through her like a drug. If Sapphire was going to become a more permanent fixture at her side, she would have to decide what kind of mistress she was going to be. Kind or cruel, relaxed or strict. It was like running her hand down a deck of cards, ready to pick any of them. Vysehna could only breathe in the air, the corners of her lips quirking upwards. “From now on, you will not act as a whore,” she commanded. “You will service me, and me alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would very much appreciate feedback! I could definitely use the assistance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to try my hand at Sapphire's perspective, and I'm relatively pleased with the results.

His Lady was odd. There was no appropriate way to think that; he shouldn’t be thinking anything but how wonderful she is, not after what he swore to her earlier. But it’s not a bad thing, at least not to him. 

 

Sapphire watches from many feet away, almost entirely across the room, as his Lady chats with the Captain. She’s smiling, eyes bright and dancing, as the Captain says something Sapphire can’t hear. The dining area is full of people, some with mugs of alcohol and others with waterskins wrapped around their waists. No one is shouting, no one is fighting. The walls groan and vibrate with the volume of voices, but this is a happy night. He sits with the other slaves, quietly enjoying their meals in the corner. Here is different too. The slaves are quiet, but it is a soft quiet. No one fears for their hide. Sapphire can only come to the conclusion that the Captain is a kind man. 

 

He must be, if Vysehna grins so broadly with him around. The King had mentioned that Captain Lawrence Rainier had taken up the task of raising his Lady when her parents passed, so it was no surprise to him that they were completely at ease with each other. But Vysehna was strange. She was kind to him,when she shouldn’t have been. When Sapphire had forgotten himself, stared into her eyes, he should have been smacked on the spot. The King would have struck him, and then shut him away in the dark for hours. 

 

The plate sits empty before him, and Sapphire waits to see where the others take the dishes so he can assist. Right now, his Lady is occupied, and doesn’t require his attention. He watches her regardless, waiting for a signal. Even several hours later, he can feel her hand on his head. Warm, fingers delicately gripping, holding but not hurting. Vysehna looked every inch the Lady Sapphire was to serve, with sharp features and piercing silver eyes, but here it seemed silenced. Her hair, a glorious shade somewhere between red and gold, was finally out of the tail she had it in upon his arrival, and it suited her so much better. She spoke like a lady too, her words sharp, unwavering, but she didn’t move like one. Vysehna moved like a sailor. She swung her arms wide, rolled her shoulders, and walked with a wide, confident gait. 

 

Sapphire liked this side of her more, though he didn’t expect to be privy to it any time soon. The smile looked better on her than a scowl. Hopefully by the end of the ten weeks, he will have convinced Vysehna that he can be worth her time. The thought of returning to the bedside, be it the King’s, a guard’s, or even a higher ranked servant, was not an appealing one. 

 

Next to him, a fellow slave gave him a slight nudge as he rose, and Sapphire followed with his plate in hand. As the lot of them moved as one towards the kitchen, to get a start on the dishes he assumed, Sapphire couldn’t help the press of anxiety on his shoulders. His Lady didn’t seem the kind to play mind games, and should she need something of him but he is elsewhere, it was unlikely to come down in true punishment. That wasn’t Sapphire’s concern though; he wanted her happy with him, threats of punishment or not. But Vysehna had made it clear she didn’t want to be smothered, so he was going to give her space. If it was a mistake, there were still ten weeks ahead of them that he could use to make it up to her.

 

Tugging at the collar of his suit, he tried to ignore the sticky feeling of sweat growing along his body. The suit may be totally ruined after today. It doesn’t compare to the morning walk however, so Sapphire doesn’t bother dwelling on it much more than that. He washes dishes along with the rest of the slaves, ignoring their odd looks as he unbuttons his sleeves and rolls them up. There are so few of them, they could probably use the extra help. 

 

He might outrank them, Sapphire comes to realize as he’s elbow deep in dirty water. He is, currently, a Lady’s pet, they are common floor slaves. Then again, he may be less than them yet, depending on what Vysehna decides to do with him. He is careful not to make enemies, just as he was earlier when he had quietly asked the head cook for any leftovers. The woman had hesitated, and that had been enough for Sapphire to drop to his knees. As a general rule, he only knelt for his owners unless instructed otherwise, but he had been completely spent.

 

The woman was kind, warmer than Vysehna but no less merciful. She would be the one Sapphire would go to that evening, after his Lady had dismissed him. Being that there were only twenty six or so slaves in total, and the crew seemed more inclined to keep their hands at their sides, there were no excess beds. His ‘quarters’ currently consisted of a place nearby where all the others slept, tucked in a small abandoned alcove, with his pack hidden behind an empty crate. Whether or not he begged his lady to allow him to sleep outside her door depended on two factors; whether or not the cook would give him a blanket to fend off the bone-breaking floor and if the other slaves felt the need to bother him.

 

Around him, the slaves began talking amongst themselves. They were quiet, and no one spoke to him, but Sapphire enjoyed it nonetheless. He didn’t listen in on any conversation in particular, wanting to respect their privacy as much as possible. The King’s side had often been a quiet one, so the constant lull and whisper of voices felt like filling in the gaps left in his soul. Some of them anyways. Sometimes, Sapphire wished he could be a dishwasher. He probably would have been, if not for his features. He should be grateful for them, he knows in his gut that they likely saved his life, but part of him would always wish that he hadn’t been quite so pretty. For many reasons. 

 

Washing dishes was easy; so much easier than anticipating wants and wishes of people that could behead him. Any slave in the kitchen would probably happily switch. Perhaps Vysehna would enjoy their company more. 

 

“So, what are you, exactly?” the slave to his right piped at last. She’s small, her mousy hair wound into a knot atop her head, and she stared at him like a cat eying a gull.

 

Sapphire can’t help but notice how this half of the kitchen goes quiet, anticipating his answer. He feels grossly on display, like a shaved tiger, but Sapphire knew by now how to play the right facade. He offers a mellow smile, “I’m a companion to Lady Vysehna.”

 

“She’s got you doin’ dishes?” the girl sniggers, and it’s an effort not to curl his shoulders. 

 

“My Lady has made no such command; I simply wished to offer my efforts. There… don’t appear to be very many of you.” 

 

The girl-- and she  _ is _ a girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen-- glares down her nose at him. 

 

“That’s ‘cause we don’t need the help. The Captain doesn’t ask much; we’re just supposed to keep the lowers clean and make the food. We got all the folks we need.” Her tongue is sharp, lashing, even if her eloquence left a lot to be desired. The meaning was easy enough to catch without the jab, but Sapphire hesitates regardless. He doesn’t want to leave. The air might have been hot and humid, but the work had been soothing. His Lady was mercy, but here had been peace.

 

He knows better. Should have known better. With a sinking sensation in his chest, Sapphire knew it didn’t matter how helpful he tried to be. He was an interloper. They wouldn’t have been accepting even if he had been a broken floor slave. “Of course.” It sounds strained, but he hoped they didn’t hear it over the quiet clanking of dishes. “I apologize for presuming, I will not be bothering you again.”  Stepping away from the sinks, Sapphire doesn’t dare reach for the dish towel to dry his hands. Instead, he merely shakes them dry on the way to the door, buttoning his cuffs back into place. Behind, someone hisses something to the girl, eyes following him all the way out. Sapphire can only imagine what they call him, feels his face warm at what he knows it to be. It’s all he can do to push it to the back of his mind, and step out the door.

  
  
  


His Lady isn’t drunk. Not quite. But as the evening trails by, her laughs come easier and her eyes don’t go dark when they flick to him. Vysehna doesn’t reprimand him for staying too near-- even though Sapphire can’t even hear the conversation-- and nor does she send him away. The time is passed by thinking of other things, namely what he could do to win Vysehna over. She had forbade him from acting as a whore which, while yet another heartwarming mercy, meant that he had less cards at his disposal. This first week would have to be about testing the waters, learning the extent of her preferences, and finding new ways to prove himself the asset he promised to be.

 

Sapphire couldn't help but feel secure in his position, at least for the months to come. If all of the slaves on board were like the girl in the kitchen, then Vysehna would have no interest in them at all. She seemed to like it when he knelt or fell prostrate, and the girl seemed inclined to no more than dip her head. Unless they had to dock somewhere along the way, his Lady was unlikely to pick a different companion. That, at least, was comforting. So was the command his Lady had given him earlier, to serve her and her alone. It was… he didn’t know what it was. Most words didn’t suffice. To not have to give away his body upon the slightest whim… Sapphire couldn’t remember how long it had been since his flesh had not been marked by the hands of another. Even if his Lady ultimately send him away, these ten weeks would be a lovely respite. 

 

It was then that Vysehna and the Captain rose to their feet, and Sapphire made to approach. Their embrace was short, but sweet. The Captain glanced his way and made some sort of grimace before wishing the two of them goodnight and striding out of the hall. Vysehna watched after him, shoulders loose and her expression fond. 

 

Hesitantly, Sapphire took his place near her side, arms folded behind his back. “Would you like me to accompany back to your room, my Lady?”

 

“I am sober, you know. Mostly,”sighed Vysehna. “I don’t need to be minded like a dog.”

 

Sapphire nodded, insides cringing. He stepped away from her and began to mentally prepare his argument to the cook as he murmured, “Of course not, my Lady. My apologies.” To his surprise, Vysehna simply chuckled a bit and shook her head,

 

“No need, I was teasing. Or trying to, anyways. Yes, you may accompany me to my rooms, I might need you.” He doubted that. Vysehna could probably get the same amount of use from an actual animal, but Sapphire dipped his head nonetheless and breathed an affirmative. Maybe Vysehna would take the time to discuss any further rules she expected of him. Not likely, but he could hope. 

 

After a short stint on deck, they were back in Vysehna room. It was unchanged from his last visit, still split partway down the middle by a dressing wall. Moonlight seeping across the rug and glinting in the mirror, the rest of the room was eerily dark. If it hadn't been for his Lady promptly lighting the candle besides her table, Sapphire might have started to grow nervous. Night was fine, even when the clouds shrouded the moon and stars. Darkness however, was a different game. Yet another reason to dread sleeping in the belly of the ship. 

 

“You ate dinner, right?”His eyes flicked to Vysehna, peering over a book on her desk. 

 

He dipped his head. “Yes, my Lady. I assumed that you would not want me to go hungry, after earlier.”

 

Vysehna hummed, low sound from the back of her throat, as she traced a finger over some parchments. “It seems you're learning; good. Hopefully our arrangement ends up being mutually beneficial.”

 

“I would like that, my Lady.” The thought of the darkness below deck was beginning to dog at him. How he overlooked that? The candles and lanterns would all be extinguished upon the resting hour, and with no ambient light, it would be pitch black. Sapphire tried to steady his breathing, not think to harshly about it. Tomorrow he could move; to where, it didn't matter. But tonight this was something he would have to deal with.

 

It was simple instinct to kneel before Vysehna as she sat on the edge of the bed, his trembling fingers making clumsy work of her boot laces. His Lady only watched, brow creased, as Sapphire pulled the first boot off and set it aside. 

 

“You are… very well trained,”said Vysehna. Sapphire's lips tilt upwards, just slightly. 

 

Dipping his head as he moves onto her other boot, Sapphire murmurs, “Thank you, my Lady. I am here for your convenience.”

 

“Which one of your masters taught you to behave like this?”

 

His fingers stutter, pausing with the laces wound through them. “Like what?” Sapphire croaked, not daring to look a little higher. His masters are not a welcome thought. The only one Sapphire might willingly recall would be Vysehna herself. 

 

A hand combs through his hair, featherlight, and he hears his mistress chuckle. “You’re untying my boots for me, Sapphire, how do you think I mean? I can’t imagine this is expected of the average steward.”

 

Like a whore, he thinks to himself; like a pathetic pet that would undo the laces of her boots with his teeth if his lady so commanded. It stings, slightly, like carpet burn on his knees. It’s familiar. “My first, Mistress. Lord Maclo, I think. He was the one to train me as a pet and a whore. He…” the words feel sticky in his throat. “He taught me my place, and how to please my superiors.”

 

“I’ve heard of this ‘Lord Maclo’. How old were you when he purchased you?”

 

He peels the second shoe off and set it aside, at last settling back on his haunches with his hands behind his back. “I was… young,”Sapphire admitted at length. “Not… not terribly but, I was no man.”

 

Unsurprisingly, Vysehna’s face went harsh. Sapphire could only swallow and duck his head, cheeks tinged with shame. This definitely wasn’t going to help his case; no Lady wanted an age old whore at her back. He would be an unsightly black mark.

 

“Dirty rat,”Vysehna said under her breath, and for just a moment shame swelled so fat in his belly he thought it might explode. But the hand in his hair became hands, and played gentle still as they untangled a few sweaty knots. It was so lovely, so, so lovely. Fingers trailed down the trail of his braid, body leaning forward and bleeding warmth, and then his hair was loose, the simple cord tossed aside. Sapphire held his breath as his mistress combed his hair free. A little giggle abruptly broke the quiet. “There’s so much of it. Did you choose to keep it long?”

 

His head became fuzzy under her attention, eyelids growing heavy. “Not… not quite, my Lady,”Sapphire mumbled. “My masters always thought my face was better suited for long hair.”

 

“I think I agree,”snorted Vysehna. She was beginning to sound as mussy Sapphire felt. Maybe Vysehna was a little drunk. “But, maybe not so much. Perhaps we’ll chop off a few inches sometime soon.” That sounded pleasant, and if it meant he would get more of this sort of attention, Vysehna could cut as much as she pleased. Shamefully, Sapphire whined when his Lady withdrew. Vysehna only laughed a bit, patting one of his cheeks before she was gone entirely. Cold flooded him in an instant; he hadn’t realized how close Vynehna had been until the heat of her body vanished in favor of fetching her night clothes.

 

Without glancing at him, Vysehna had begun shifting through the armoire. “You’re dismissed for the evening, Sapphire,”she told him, upon discovering a woolen nightgown.

 

Sapphire swallowed, bones groaning as he rose to his feet. “Of course, Mistress. Would you like me to bring your meal in the morning?”

 

Vysehna shook her head and started to unbutton the front of her shirt. “Unnecessary; I’ll be eating with the Captain. Rest as long as you need but try not to miss breakfast, yes? I doubt your pretty eyes will work again.”

 

He nodded a few times and inhaled, attempting to steady his breathing. His mind was in twists, rapidly trying to straighten out but locked in a tight wind. With any luck, the cook would still be up and about. The wish to ask his Lady, when she appeared to be in a decent mood, gnawed at him. It’s only the first day, Sapphire thought sourly, I can’t afford to press my luck. So he just plastered a smile on his face and sketched a bow, wishing Vysehna goodnight. She smiled back at him, warmer than any blanket. 

 

Then Sapphire left, bracing himself for the demands of the cook.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited, so please excuse any mistakes.

Rainier was staring at her. 

 

His eyes were soft, warm, as he prodded delicately. What she had been doing for the past few years, had she made any new friends, how were she and Sapphire getting along? That was one the Captain had pressed particularly hard at, until Vysehna released a short snipe that they were fine. Thankfully, he had left the questioning at that. 

 

The Captain’s quarters were drenched in sunlight, sharing the same view as her own room. The two of them were seated at his table, the mirror to her own, quietly eating breakfast. He was eating rather, Vysehna hadn’t been able to take a bite. The smell of smoke fish and buttered bread made her stomach churn, and Rainier’s questions only served to rub her feathers the wrong way. 

 

Vysehna hadn’t slept soundly that night. Tossing and turning, her mind had latched onto what Sapphire had told her.  _ I was no man _ . She’d wanted to ask how young exactly he had been the first time this Lord Malco had rubbed his wretched mitts along his body. Was he still soft with youth, or had his body started sharpening? Were his eyes as big and round as they were now? Had the man laughed when he had pled, or was it simply a job to him? Too many questions pounded along Vysehna’s temple, made all the worse by the fact that she knew there was no way in any given layer of hell that she would dare ask them. 

 

Sapphire had looked at her with those beautiful eyes of his, captivated her as his shaking fingers tugged away her shoes. He was a slave, and she was no fool. Slaves were slaves, bone for bone and blood for blood. They existed at their masters’ disposal and no further. But a  _ child _ . 

 

She was an emissary. Vysehna had been swathed in luxuries, bathed in diamonds and gold-- disregarding her seclusion. She was directly related to the king of a massive nation, entitled to so much beyond coin and land. There was much Vysehna might expect in slavery, might allow and even condone, but putting one’s hand upon someone less than an adult was revolting. Not even her uncle, the king she did not admire or praise, would be so low. This Lord Malco was a monster, no matter his own circumstance. 

 

Vysehna might come to expect Sapphire to grovel before her, beg and kneel, and maybe even kiss her shoes. Have him peer up at her, eye to eye, and whine for whatever it was his heart so desired, and perhaps that made her wretched too. But she was no Malco, and would never be. There were lines that should never be crossed. 

 

A slave, a pet, should be able to trust his mistress. Especially one like Sapphire.

 

“You’re thinking of the boy, aren’t you?”

 

Vysehna jerked, dropping her fork, and snapped her gaze to Captain Rainier. “I beg your pardon?”

 

He was smiling, just slightly, as he took a sip of his coffee. With a start, Vysehna noticed the Captain had shaved his mustache. When had he last had it? Yesterday? Four years ago? “Did he step out of line?”the Captain teased in a low voice. “Whine a little too loudly when you sent him away?”

 

She narrowed her eyes, and pushed her plate away. “Sapphire has been nothing but excellent.”

 

“Oh of course.” Vysehna didn't care for the humorous glint in his eye. “The man trailed after His Royal Highness for half a decade; only the best behaved whores could last that long.”

 

“He’s not a whore anymore,”she told him. Bushy brows flicking up, the Captain huffed a laugh,

 

“Good. I think he's had enough of that life.”

 

There was no doubt about that. They had only spent one day together, but Vysehna could see clear as the morning sky that he was too soft for spending his days warming some noble’s beside. Too lovely. To be thrust into that life so young and survive with any sort of warmth left was a feat that deserved rewarding. 

 

Rainier pressed Vysehna's plate back in front of her, a silent push to eat. His face was inordinately contemplative as he asked, “You intend to keep him, then?”

 

That was… a good question. This time yesterday, Sapphire was no more than a bothersome stray at her feet. Now, she wasn't so sure. 

 

“I might,”Vysehna hedged. She took a bite just to smooth the concerned crease of Rainier's brow. 

 

The evening had ended in a cloak of fury, so hot that it may have singed the bedspread, but it had been nice before that. For a moment, Sapphire wasn't bothersome. His hands on her feet, loosening the laces. Fearless, for just a little while, almost purring under her touch. If he was like that all of the time, Vysehna might be willing to offer him a permanent place.

 

They spoke a while longer, about the things that had transpired in their time apart. Vysehna learned that Lawrence Rainier had married, finally, to a soft hearted man that bred dogs in the capital city. And when Rainier learned of Vysehna’s endless days of classes and lessons, he had all but cursed the queen’s name. She flushed, offering only meager attempts to shield her aunt, if only to pull a veil over the fact that she agreed, wholeheartedly. Vysehna had never wanted to be an emissary, at least not in comparison to a sailor. Her only reconciliation was that she might still get to see the world.

 

Sapphire was nowhere to be found until well after lunch, which Vysehna considered both insulting and relieving. It gave her time to catch up with some of the old crew members she had been raised alongside, another layer of balm smoothed over the ridges of her wounds with each conversation, each familiar face. But it was strange to turn around and not find him there, either nearby or at a distance. He was probably meaning to give her some space,Vysehna assumed. You didn’t last long as a whore if you couldn’t tell when your owner didn’t want you around. 

 

They had only spent one day together, less than that, and yet she had grown used to his watchful eye. 

 

When her pet finally made an appearance, back in her room, his hair was wound into a loose knot at the base of his skull, messy and sleep worn. Eyes reddened, shadowed with sleep, Sapphire took to kneeling again. His stuffy black suit had been swapped in favor of a baggy, short sleeved affair that hid every swell or sink of his lithe body. 

 

Resisting a blush, Vysehna’s first thought was that she preferred the suit. But it was a whore’s outfit, distinctly meant to show of the perfect lines and posture; there was no need for that any longer. 

 

“You look tired,”Vysehna commented, as she closed the book she had been idly scanning. 

 

The long column of his throat bobbed, exposed to the elements, as Sapphire dipped his head. “I apologize, my Lady. I… it was not my intention to stay away so long, I don’t know what--”

 

Vysehna waved away his apology before it could become too sorrowful. The heavy circles under his eyes were excuse enough, even if she hadn’t commanded him to take all the time he needed to night prior. “Be at ease. I had no need for you this morning, and you clearly needed as much sleep as you could get.” To her surprise, Sapphire’s smile was a little… wild. It showed off his perfect teeth, and those wretchedly deep eyes flashed like glass.

 

“Yes Mistress. I am used to soft beds and feather down quilts, the… lodgings here have shown me how spoiled my masters have left me.”

 

Vysehna laughed, despite herself. Sapphire’s smile became a little more gentle, warmer. 

 

“Yes,”she agreed lightly, “I suppose a little cot would be a lot different from a royal mattress. Hopefully it didn’t get too cold down there.”

 

The smile became softer still, no more than a light tilt at the corners of his lips, “Don’t fret my Lady, I had a blanket. It kept me warm enough.”

 

Vysehna gave a little sigh, surprisingly content with her current company. Even if Sapphire did seem near dead on his feet. Without much thought she reached out, urging Sapphire to rest along her leg with a hand on his head. Her pet was only too happy to obey. His cheek pressed against her knee, while those delicate hands rested loosely around her ankles, and his entire body went slack. He was lighter than Vysehna had anticipated, perhaps more bone than muscle after all. She played with his hair again, gently thumbing a few strands as she looked over the structure of his bun. 

 

“I think we should cut some of this off,”whispered Vysehna. Sapphire whined, low and exhausted, one eye cracking open,

 

“As you wish, my Lady,”he mumbled. “I will fetch scissors--”he made to rise, but Vysehna held him in place with a single hand to his shoulder.

 

Her body pleasantly warm, Vysehna tucked the loose strands of hair back where they belonged. “I didn’t mean now. We can do it later, when you don’t look ready to topple over.” Sapphire sighed, a heavy rush of breath along the fitted fabric of her pants. She snorted, “Why on earth did you even both crawling out of bed?”

 

“I wasted too much time,”he mumbled, voice husky, “Couldn’t get to sleep until the others were all gone. I didn’t want to upset my lady.”

 

Stomach fluttering, Vysehna released a long breath. Thankfully Sapphire was down, or else he would have noticed the pink tint to her cheeks. Internally she cursed, watching Sapphire doze against her. Here was a man that had been stripped and bared too soon, broken from whatever he might have been into the mold of a perfectly docile servant. And yet he so obviously trusted her. Vysehna had met many a slave that had been hollowed out young, never to recover. Miraculously, Sapphire had grown with his insides in tact. 

 

There wasn’t a thread of tension anywhere within his body. Lax, no more than an exhausted cat.

  
  
  


Vysehna allowed him to sleep for as long as she could stand, a measly three quarters of an hour. She was loathed to wake him up, but she had no sensation in her leg by the time she decided it had been long enough. Sapphire responded to the slightest jostle. Eyes flying open, he jerked away from her and gasped.

 

“My Lady, I--” He drew up short when Vysehna simply shook her head.

 

“No apologies, Pet. It’s all right, I was happy to allow it.”

 

Sapphire released his heaving breath, and nodded. The rings under his eyes had begun to fade, still highlighted by the patches of black under his lash line. Curious, Vysehna swiped along the smudge. Sapphire took it quietly, only blinking a few times in response. 

 

She examined her thumb, and choked out a little laugh. “Cosmetics?”

 

His face went a little pink. “Yes, Mistress. High Highness had me painted for our first interaction.”

 

“Did you wear makeup often?”

 

“It was required of me, my Lady. It was the first thing His Highness demanded I pack.”

 

Vysehna couldn’t imagine why. His eyes looked warmer now, the black rims softer after hours of wear. He looked more like a common man than a whore without it. But, then again, she was beginning to question if her uncle’s ‘steward training’ was just an effort towards having a brighter whore.

 

“While you’re with me, don’t bother,”Vysehna said. She wiped the dark makeup away on the inside of a sleeve. “You’re pretty enough without it.”

 

When she looked up, Sapphire had ducked his head again, the tips of his ears a deep red. She laughed, deep and warm. Sapphire seemed to be smiling as well. 

 

She took him around the ship, after that. Vysehna touched bases with some old friends, introducing Sapphire as she went. He greeted each man or woman as ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma'am’, and when First Mate Lourna Kæder appeared on deck, Sapphire bowed.

 

“Truly a King’s pet,”the spry woman had remarked, but her eyes were creased with humor. Sapphire, ever the docile boy, allowed Kæder to finger the length of his braid. She seemed intrigued by his features, amused at his lovely blush. Vysehna was pleased with him, to say the least. Much of the crew, family lost and now found, prodded at him as well. Like an animal on display. Vysehna didn’t care for it, them acting as though they had never seen a man like him, but it filled her with pride to see Sapphire behaving so beautifully. 

 

An old friend, raised on the curtails of his Father’s slaving business, was particularly in depth about his examination, checking everything from Sapphire’s teeth to his fingernails before he deemed her pet to be in perfect condition.

 

“Thank you, Sir,”whispered Sapphire. Vysehna rolled her eyes and pulled Sapphire back to her side. As if she expected any different. 

 

“You did well,”Vysehna told him, as they finally started back to her quarters. 

 

Sapphire offered a tight lipped smile, head bowed. “I’m glad they liked me.”

  
  


She sent him off before they reached her quarters, in search for a pair of scissors to trim his hair with. There was a box on her bed, Vysehna saw when she closed the door, nearly a meter long and half a foot wide. It was wooden, painted a vulgar red and its lid engraved with gold painted swirls. Intrigued, Vysehna tipped the lid of the box back. The contents were shielded by a fat strip of soft leather, and utop that was a note.

 

The Captain's looped script was instantly recognizable. 

 

_ V. _

_ I am not doing of my free will. His Royal Highness commanded that I deliver these as soon as the timing seemed proper. I chose when you were in a good mood.  _

_ I’m sorry. _

 

_ Capt. LR _

 

Vysehna tossed the letter to the side, immediately snapping the fabric barrier to the side. 

And swore. Too many thoughts rushed through her head all at once. Names, vicious and cruel, spat at her uncle's face and his stupid loveable facade. Sapphire, stalwart and unresponsive. Sapphire begging, not for a treat or a reward, but for mercy. Heat rose so fast in her chest, Vysehna saw a red deeper than the box.

 

Nested in a bed of red crushed velvet were three wooden canes. Thin to heavy. Perfectly made and finished to a golden shine.

 

Torn between lighting them on fire and picking one up, she caved to the latter and chose the middle width. Vysehna held it in her hands. Testing the weight, tasting a burn in her throat. It made her sick, imagining Sapphire's melodic voice shrieking in agony. He was a  a glorious pet. What warranted a punishment so vicious that it needed a heavy cane? Warranted  _ sending _ them to her, stalking after Sapphire like a bad storm.

 

There were lines, always fucking lines that should never be touched, let alone crossed. Perhaps King Sanyr did condone the use of children, if he was this much of a bastard.

 

Sapphire  _ would _ face punishment at her hands. But there was punishment, and cruel torture. No sooner had she had the thought did she hear the latch click, and then a careful intake of breath.

 

“My Lady?”

 

His voice was empty. No warmth or devotion. No more than the mindless dog that had carried her trunk. 

 

For God’s sake.

 

She didn’t turn to face him. The cane in her hand was leaden, staining her flesh with a disgusting taint. “How often?” Vysehna could barely manage the words, she already knew the damn answer.

 

A moment of hesitation.

 

“Frequently.”

 

“Were these what you faced whenever you failed to meet the standards?” Another affirmative. Vysehna sighed, dropping the cane back into its place and snapping the lid shut. She never cared for her uncle, but now she despised him. Hopefully her kin had never faced the same violence.  _ Fucking Bastard _ .

The anger was a song in her bones, familiar in some gross way. Vysehna had felt it everyday for the last four years, but this was something else. Something… more. Vysehna turned then, forcing a deep breath and wiping the sweat of her hands off onto her pants. Sapphire was  on his knees, and though his voice was no more than a smooth glide, he was ashen. His skin was snowy white on the average day, but this was corpse-like. Dead already. 

 

“I will never use these on you.” His eyes were so wide, she could see the whites all around. “You are a slave. You will act to my satisfaction, and if you cannot meet it there will be consequences. But I will never cane you. I will never whip you, whore you, starve you, or any of the other wretched things my uncle forced on you. Of that I give you my word. Is that understood?”

 

Sapphire nodded, drunkenly, and brushed some of his hair from his face. “Yes Mistress. Thank you.” 

 

Vysehna nodded, mind rolling slowly, and took a deep breath. “Good. Now, we’re going to cut your hair.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter today! Unedited again. I just needed to bust it out before I lost my muse (also Sapphire is definitely my favorite to write. Sweet boy just needs some love).

He dreams of monsters. Blackened eyes, diseased talons, plunging into his flesh,  _ ripping him open _ .

 

Tainting him, ruining him.

 

Gaping wounds, blood in his mouth. Teeth gnashing, beasts screaming in the shadows. The reek of fear and death.

 

He tried to scream but there was no air. Clawing at his throat, begging the gods--  _ his _ god--

Ash in the air, smoke burning his eyes, white hot wounds tearing in peeling everywhere. Except for his face.  _ Never his pretty face _ . Then the smoke became hands. A sob echoed through the dark, his body frozen with shame and terror and hate. Everywhere they went, scratching and roaming. His thighs, his chest, back, calves, leaving a wretched film that stained his very soul. 

 

_ Whore _ .

 

A tongue shoved down his throat, and the overwhelming urge to go limp and pliant. Take the pain, the invasions, let the hands go where they wished. Be good, be good,  _ please I’m sorry I can be good _ .There were ropes on his wrists, bruising and breaking the skin. Heart racing the horses, flesh against flesh icy with sweat. Sapphire writhed, choking and gasping. 

 

_ Please _ . 

 

The world going white around the edges, raging fire of the heavy cane biting into his backside.

 

_ Pleasepleasepleaseplease _ \--

 

Someone smacked him, cracking his jaw and setting his ears ringing, and Sapphire jerked awake. He whined, sucking in a breath as his hands immediately went to his 

 

“Damn, you didn't need to hit him so hard, Tres,”a voice said, and Sapphire cringed. Most of the other slaves stood around or near the entrance to his alcove, a few holds candles and none of them looking pleased. The girl from the kitchen was among them, crouched nearby.

 

There was still blood in his mouth. Body trembling, Sapphire whimpered, “I'm sorry. I--i didn't… I'm sorry.” His heart was pounding so hard he knew they could hear it, and not a few of them looked particularly sympathetic. 

 

“This ‘s the third time this week you woke us all up with your jabbering,”Treser grumbled. The wish to strike him another time was written clear across her face, in those angry eyes. 

 

Sapphire was already moving, scrambling to gather his things. “I'm sorry,”he croaked again. Tears were gathering in his eyes, and all Sapphire wanted to do was hurl himself into the sea. “I’m-- I'll go, I won't ever come down here again.”

 

“Maybe you'd sleep better if we got you a cot,”sighed Jodie. She was the cook Sapphire had gone to the first night, seizing him by the arms before he could kneel and promising him everything he needed. Sapphire had refused on instinct. The woman hadn't asked for anything in return, and that usually meant she wanted something very specific. Something he was no longer permitted to give.

 

He had wriggled away, timidly tell her not to cause trouble on his behalf. If only she could spare a blanket, that was all he could ever want, and Jodie had delivered in the form of an old but sturdy quilt, now gathered in his arms. She had yet to demand penance for that favor. 

 

“I'm fine, Ma’am,”he protested softly, pack slung over his shoulder. “I beg your forgiveness for causing so much trouble. I'll be going elsewhere.” Sapphire stumbled through the gathered slaves, surprised that no one decided to take his discipline into their own hands.

 

Fearing Jodie's demands was only half the reason he refused allowing her a cot. There was no guarantee that Vysehna wasn't aware he was left on the ground, and if he made a show of complaining… well, no one wanted a pet that complained about something so small.

 

He made a quick trek up to the deck, careful not to disturb anyone else on the way. The moon was bright that night, not a cloud in the sky. The wind was gentle, smelling of salt and seaweed. No longer heavy and weighted, his hair fluttered and danced, and Sapphire constantly had to spit it out of his mouth. He had nearly cried when Vysehna held up the mirror, his hands shaking as they combed through the unfamiliar length. What had once gone down to the small of his back, stopped a little further than his shoulders.

 

His hair had been one of his best features. It was what his masters had always crooned about, what party goers claimed caught their attention. The blue eyes and gloriously long hair. Without the package, he was just a mildly alluring whore at best. Nothing beautiful. Vysehna must have gone shorter than she meant to. Sapphire had turned back to face her, expecting displeasure scrawled across her face and already preparing a sermon of pleas. But she was smiling, eyes so bright, so much brighter than when she had been staring at the canes.

 

The thought of the canes sent a shudder through his body, so hard he had to stop and drop his things. His last meal had been small, so retching over the side of the ship was no terrible task. But it left Sapphire in desperate need of water, and missing the kind touch of his lady.

 

He hated himself for getting so attached. She was lovely, yes. And gentle, and kind, and so wonderful. But there was no telling how much was a play. Sapphire had no idea where she put the canes. Whether she disposed of them or if she was practicing when he was gone. Truthfully, the only person he genuinely trusted aboard that ship was the Captain, and that was because he clearly held nothing but disdain for Sapphire. He had to be an honest man.

 

Sagging against a nearby crate, Sapphire took several long minutes to catch his breath. Damn. What the hell was he going to do now? Imagining the conversation with Vysehna didn't make him feel any better. 

 

_ Why do all the slaves glare at you wherever you go? _

 

_ Because I kept making noise in my sleep and now they think I'm a selfish prick _ .  _ Can I sleep in your room _ ,  _ by the way? _

 

He was too sweaty for such a temperate night. Everything was so cold, and the residual feeling of hands on and in him was promising to send another wave of nausea ripping through him. His cheek hurt too, thanks to the temperamental slave girl. Treser. It was hard not to hate her, but Sapphire forced the heat away from his mind.

 

Trust was not what he would call the thing between him and Vysehna, but Sapphire wasn’t going to lie to himself. She made him feel safe, with her soft touch and affection. What he wouldn’t do do be allowed to stay in her quarters. 

 

But that was a pointless hope. There were plenty of other secret corners to hide in on such a big ship. Just… probably not any that were lit at all hours of the day. Part of him just wanted to steal a candle, but all it would take was a roll and then the whole ship would go up in flames.

 

Sapphire groaned, head in his hands, and thought of the King. His Royal fucking Highness. This was his fault. He never could decide whether or not he cared about leaving bruises. One minute it was the heavy cane, leaving blood spatters on the linens, and the next it was the pitch black closet. That was worse, easily so much worse. For hours, trapped in such a tiny space. No sound but his own breathing. He had never liked the dark, a fear from even before he had belonged to anyone, that had only been exploited and twisted into something more than just a child’s terror. Bastard.

 

_ Bad _ .

 

The voice in his head was his own. Sapphire sucked in a harsh breath, fighting the tears still swollen in his throat. He was so bad. The King was awful--  _ bad thought _ \-- but he was so much better than Lord Malco, who had stolen him away and then torn him apart. The King loved his canes and his lies, and his closet, but he was warm. Sometimes. Not as warm as Vysehna, but enough that the punishments didn’t seem so bad. Malco was a different breed.

 

So many bad thoughts recently. His masters were his masters; they were allowed to act as they pleased and Sapphire was supposed to be happy just to be allowed their company. That was the key to being a good slave, and he was a good slave. He  _ had _ to be. That was the only kind of slave Vysehna would tolerate. 

 

“What on earth happened to you?”

 

A shadow appeared over him. Sapphire jumped out of his skin, head snapping into the crate. Scrambling up, ready to plead-- 

 

The first mate grabbed him by the shoulders, her narrow eyes as round as they could manage. “You look like you just had the worst rut in your life.” Sapphire cringed as her hand moved, wiping at chin. There was blood on her hand, Sapphire’s stomach plummeted. 

 

“I bit my tongue,”he gasped, “I swear, I  _ swear _ I had a bad dream and bit my tongue. I didn’t have sex with anyone. I promise.” If this woman told his lady that he had disobeyed her first real demand, any favor he had cullied over the past week would evaporate. 

 

Lourna Kæder-- that’s what Vysehna had introduced her as-- looked at him in some sort of wild confusion. “It’s not my job to command your bones, boy,”she said carefully, some foreign lilt to her voice. “Is that why you’ve got all your stuff up here and your face is roughed up? You have a bad dream?”

Quaking in her arms, Sapphire let the blanket fall between them and desperately rasped, “Yes. I-it’s dark down there, and I  _ hate _ the dark. I made too much noise, I woke the others, and …” he stopped himself, going ridged in his arms. Was he really about to damn the others to save his own skin. If Sapphire was above them, Treser would be at Vysehna’s mercy for her actions. And god, he did not care for her. But she was young, and Vysehna did not appear to be soft with anyone that was not himself or the Captain. “They made me leave,”Sapphire finished lamely. 

 

“They made you leave?” Kæder echoed in her roughen drawl, blond brows high. “You do realize you’re going to bruise, right? Vyshena is no straight shot but she’s not blind.”

 

His hand snapped up, covering the budding bruise with his hand as if that would erase it. “I’m sorry Ma’am,”Sapphire mewled. He didn’t even know what he was apologizing for. He just wanted to sate this woman so he could go and hide. Vision blurring, he hung his head. Kæder’s hands lightly squeezed his shoulders, and the wide woman released a irritated sigh, 

 

“You’re a pathetic thing aren’t you.  _ Völek,  _ think Vysehna would toss me overboard for waking her?”

 

Völek? That wasn’t the common tongue, or Fawen, the language of their original country. Kæder must be from the southern area of the continent. Sapphire nodded raggedly.

 

“She told me I mustn't disturb her in the evening. Before I bring her breakfast.”

 

Another curse that Sapphire couldn’t think to recognize. In whatever games the King played, Sapphire had been taught enough to be passable in several languages. That one almost felt familiar. But his skin was crawling under this stranger’s touch and his eyes were growing misty. 

 

“I tell you what,”sighed Kæder, turning her snowy blue eyes back to him. “You sleep on the deck for the rest of the night, I have watch until dawn. When morning comes, we will discuss things with Vysehna. Yes?”

 

Another nod. He hated that idea, hated bothering his Lady or letting it slip that something so miniscule bothered him, but Sapphire was happy to agree if it meant getting a little more sleep. 

 

If Lourna Kæder truly intended to take this matter to Vysehna, he was going to need as much rest as possible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments! They truly do mean a lot to me!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again almost completely unedited, and furthermore written almost entirely on mobile (because my computer is awful). So please forgive any mistakes or repetitive text. Also: I know I promised fluff and it is coming! In the next chapter, I promise!

Vysehna had been subject to absurdities before. Sitting in with her relatives and they balked and gobbled, she was no stranger to nonsense. There were hours a day focused on plucking out a lie from the most perfect of actors.

 

What she hadn't been subject to yet, was a brand of such blatant bullshit. Not from Lourna, and certainly not from the Captain.

 

“You expect me to believe,”she seethed, eyes like razors as she cut a glare from the first mate, to the Captain, and then to Sapphire on his knees. “That your bruise was caused by a fucking door? I can't even express how unbelievably stupid-- that--” Vysehna was at a loss for words, only able to stumble as the rage-leaden weight of betrayal swelled in her stomach. Summoned to the Captain's quarters to be preemptively told of Sapphire's injuries, so ‘she heard it straight from the source’, as Rainier had put it.

 

Sapphire.

 

The wretched whore lied right to her face. Sickly green, eyes shadowed. He had crowed across her shoes, choking on his fear like a hacking cat. She had been cold with sympathy, and wrath. Ready to destroy whoever had laid a hand on her beloved pet. Now, Vysehna wanted to spit at him.

 

Loyaless. Lying.

 

Rainier at least had the good sense to look royally displeased, but he stood by Lourna. As he always would. Vysehna wanted to spit on him too. They were not her kin. Kin didn't keep lies at the behest of some low life skank. Especially such obvious one.

 

The Gaelyn had ground principles into her, down to the very narrow of her bones. It was only that which kept her from damming Sapphire and burning his contract.

 

“Yes, my Lady,”Sapphire squawked. Tears had left his face glistening, the angry bruise on his cheek a hideous red under the bright daylight. Part of her wanted to kiss his cheeks and tell him not to fret, that it was okay. But it wasn't. “A-as I got up to the top of the stairs, I dropped my blanket. When I… I bent to grab it, the door swung open and… got me.”

 

“And the person who opened the door?”she sniped.

 

“Ran off, Mistress. I-I'm sorry.”

 

He knew she wasn't buying it. As terrible as he was, Sapphire wasn't stupid. He was a lying snake, corrupting the only family she had. But he had spent many years as a whore; he knew when a storm was brewing. And it was written across his face like a map.

 

Why now? Things had been going so lovely, or at least they had appeared to be. What would have prompted Sapphire to lie to her face, so irrefutably. What would have prompted the two highest crew members to stand by his side?

 

The obvious answer was that he wanted to protect his attacker, but why? It wasn't Lourna, Vysehna knew that, in whatever sad part of her that still felt some attachment. Lourna, as mean and fierce as she could be, fed the gulls in the morning and slept with the cats. The First Mate pitied Sapphire, for whatever reason.

 

And who would want to hurt him? Such a meek boy, a liar as he was you couldn't fake that sort of docility. Could he have made enemies? With who? Who would be so angry with some pathetic cabin boy that they--

 

The answer struck her hard. _Hard_.

 

“Please, my Lady.” His voice was edged, whining and desperate. Vysehna's insides were cooling, going hard, going sharp. So Sapphire had loyalties then. Just not to her.

 

She sank into one of the lounge chairs, away from their blockade, and palmed her temples. The staff was a tight knit group of bastards, lines of family. They wouldn't have accepted Sapphire, a Lady's pet, into their arms if they had been paid to. Why hadn't she thought of that?

 

There was a tugging at her pant leg, and Vysehna opened her eyes to find Sapphire there, whole body quaking. Fresh tears welled his eyes, turning them lively,

 

“Mistress.” His voice was like running water. Barely a tangible whisper around this stupid fucking tears. “Please.”

 

“What exactly are you asking for, hm? For me to believe you and your lies, or to forgive you for all but spitting on my mercy?”

 

The Captain sucked in a breath, “Vysehna--”

 

She threw up a finger, stopping him short. “Shut up Rainier.” Vysehna was only just surprised that the Captain shut his mouth. Lourna was watching like she always was, eyes narrow as she sucked in a breath,

 

“Don't be angry with the boy, Vysehna. He's just scared.”

 

 _He should be_ , Vysehna thought in a cruel hiss. She almost meant it.

 

But his lips were trembling, breath uneven. Sapphire wasn't just scared, he was terrified. Of her, likely. Probably many other things as well. It didn't dampen her wrath, definitely not towards Rainier and Kæder.

 

“Why would he be scared?”Vysehna shot back defensively. “I've yet to raise a hand to him, even though I probably should.” She saw him stiffen at that, swallow hard, and tried not to watch as Sapphire seemed to become a shadow.

 

“You left him with no resources in an unfamiliar place,”Kæder told her slowly, like she were a stupid dog. “Dropped him in a crowd of unfriendly folks and said ‘go make friends’. What did you expect to happen?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Sapphire.” He looked up, white as a ghost at the sound of the First Mate's voice. “Tell your Lady where you've been sleeping?”

 

Vysehna looked as well, brow raised.

 

Sapphire looked down at his hands, blinking away his tears as he swallowed again. “The floor. They, uh, didn't have any extra cots, my Lady. The cook offered to try and find me one, but I didn't want to owe her that big of a  favor…”

 

Vysehna drew up short, the rage in her chest stuttering. “Why didn't you tell me?”

 

Those eyes danced all around the room, everywhere but her, looking for reassurance from Kæder. When the woman nodded, Sapphire sucked in a breath, “I thought that… that you might have known. And wished for me to learn how a pet was to properly lie.”

 

Like a spear through the heart, Vysehna was hurt by his answer. “But I… I was kind to you.”

 

“So was the King, Mistress. I didn't know you were unaware, and when I lost favor with the others I had to make a choice. Who..”Sapphire sniffled, pausing to wipe at his face. “Who might be an ally. If I didn't betray them, I thought the staff might begin to show me leniency. If I told you, you might show me a little more kindness, but they would hate me. And you can only be in one place. They're everywhere.”

 

That took the wind out of her sails. Bile stinging the back of her throat, it was Vysehna’s turn to avert her gaze. That was smart, clever even. Gain the respect of the more dangerous enemy. She was only one, and they were many.

 

Suddenly, Vysehna needed to get away.

 

She rose to her feet, trying not to notice the desperate gown returning to Sapphire's eyes as she turned to the Captain. “Find him a cot, and a secure place of sleep.” Rainier blinked, opening his mouth to speak, but Vysehna only pushed passed him.

 

Sapphire cried after her, shrill and scared, “My Lady, I'm sorry!”

 

 _It's okay_ , Vysehna thought to say. Anything to relay that she understood now, and regretted the terrible things she had thought.

She kept walking.

Principles. What drivel. One foul move and she turned tails entirely. Ready to beat him, leave him in a sketchy alley, throw him overboard. No wonder Sapphire hadn't trusted her. Whatever whore's instincts he had gathered served him well.

* * *

 

Vysehna stayed in her room all day. _Only children pout,_ her aunt Eliza would scold. There was a difference between pouting and not wanting to show her face. Or see anyone. Face anything  Someone knocked a little after lunch, presumably Sapphire, but she didn't answer.

 

She busied herself by pouring over the King's proposed agreement for the Keurr royalty. Medicine for livestock. Lumber for fish. Silk for jewels. It was all mostly nonsense. Unnecessary.

 

Slouching back into the wall, Vysehna watched the day give way to night, and ignored the grumbling in her abdomen. She was still angry. That much rang true. But… mostly at Rainier and his first mate, who had lied for apparently no reason. Sapphire was protecting himself, what was their motive? Did they pity him so much that they felt the need to lie to her.

 

Well, that made a little sense at least. Vysehna had unintentionally left him to sleep on the floor.

 

Speaking of Rainier.

 

There was a light pounding at the door, in a pattern that could only mean the Captain. Her body warmed with discontent, nails digging into the arms of the chair, and she almost told him to leave. She didn't want to see him, not even slightly. But maybe pouting had to be put on a momentary hold.

 

Vysehna heaved herself to her feet with a mighty grunt and started towards the door, scrubbing the tired lines from her face before she bid the Captain entry.

 

He was a short man, broad shouldered and built like a stallion. Easily a threat, but Vysehna wasn't used to considering him in such a light; not quite a threat, per se, but an ally? No. She was too off balance.

 

“I didn't actually think you'd let me in,”Rainier breathed, the beginnings of a smile on his aging face. Vysehna only sighed.

 

“What did you come for, Lawrence?”

 

“Straight to business then? Mm. Well, I'm wondering what your plan is for the boy.”

 

She had been wondering that herself. “Were you able to locate him proper sleeping arrangements?”

 

“Yes. For now, he will be on a cot in my office.”

 

“Your office? Why?”

 

The Captain shrugged. “It's the best option; it's big enough, and decently secure. Of course, the best option would be your quarters but that appears unobtainable.”

 

Vysehna huffed. Bastard. "How is he?”

 

“As well as to be expected.” Not good then. She tried not to imagine Sapphire curled up on whatever cot had been allotted, whimpering like a broken beast. Poor man. “What do you intend to do with him? I hope you mean to keep him.”

 

“I do.” Although it hadn't been decided until that moment. “I just… no matter his reasons, he still lied to me.”

 

“So, punish him.”

 

That was... and obnoxiously simple answer. Punish him, so she could forgive this transgression. That was how it went, wasn't it? The slave misbehaved, and it was appropriately handled. Hell, she had promised to punish him whenever it was required.

 

Vysehna just hadn't expect him to need it so soon. She inhaled deeply, straightening up and rubbing her hands together.

 

“Very well then.”

 

A rush of warmth to her face from unknown causes. This morning, she had been prepared to strip Sapphire of his flesh with her bare hands. Thankfully, the time in between then and now had allowed her racing anger to settle considerably. Sapphire was a pathetic boy; she could still picture the wobble of his irises as he had bleated that stupid lie. How could a man be so clever and intuitive while being so brashly foolish?

 

The Captain heaved a sigh, fixing the front of his uniform. “I have to admit, I thought you were going to set him loose.”

 

Vysehna found herself smiling, wry and half hearted. “I think that would crush him.”

  


Sapphire stumbled in no more than than two minutes later, red in the face. “My Lady,” he choked, tears streaming down his cheeks, “Mistress, _Mistress_.”

 

Vysehna drew back as he came flying at her, crumbling to the ground with hands on her ankles. “My Lady, my Lady, I'm so sorry. I was a fool, I was stupid. My loyalty should be to you and--”

 

She hissed, inspiring her pet to fall completely silent. Vysehna took a deep breath to steady her nerves, anger resurfacing. Sapphire had dropped his head, face hidden in the soft curve of her leather boots and fingers splayed flat on the floor. The perfect picture of fear and misery. Beautiful, in the same way a death might be.

 

“What brought us to this, Sapphire?” Her voice was softer than she intended, but by the way Sapphire choked on a sob, Vysehna felt assured that he heard her.

 

“I lied, Mistress. I betrayed you, your trust and kindness…”

 

“What would my uncle do if you were back under his command?”

 

A shiver ripped through him, a low whine peeling though his throat. “The-- uhm-- the medium cane, my Lady. But everywhere. His Highness would take it to my backside, my feet, and maybe my hands. T-to make sure I learned my lesson, he might have… have…”Sapphire swallowed hard. “He might have taken the heavy cane over my welts. And for bleeding over the sheets--”

 

“That's enough, Sapphire,”she murmured, and her pet skidded to a sharp halt. The idea had been to remind Sapphire what he had left behind. Remind him of what she could send him back to. Instead it just left Vysehna tasting copper and stinking of revulsion. Sanyr probably would have punished Sapphire for being unable to work as well. “What do you think you deserve?”

 

“That's… that's up to you, Mistress. It's completely up to you, that isn't my place as your loyal, dutiful sla--”

 

With a rock of her foot, Vysehna silenced Sapphire once more. Now wasn't really the time for groveling. Though, maybe it was to him. Especially considering the terrible predicament Sapphire had just explained. He had to be completely panicked on the inside, wondering if Vysehna would turn out to be as awful as her uncle had been. If she would destroy his flesh with those awful canes.

 

Swallowing, Vysehna breathed, “You got here so fast, I didn't have much time to prepare. Take off your shirt.”

 

Sapphire obeyed instantly, heaving himself onto his knees and shedding his cotton shirt. Vysehna eyed him, forcing herself to breathe. His chest was the same lovely color as the rest of him, a milky white with a subtle pink undertone, and just as sculpted as his face. The lines of his abdominals were barely more than the suggestion of exercise, but his waist had a sharp hourglass shape. He was gorgeous still, but Vysehna couldn't ignore the pale slashing scars beginning to peek over his slender shoulders.

 

“Do any of them hurt?”Vysehna asked as she paced around him taking in the patchwork that was his back.

 

Sapphire had curled forward, shoulders hunched, hands clenched in his lap. “Not… not really. Sometimes I remember how they felt, but they don't really hurt.”

 

She licked her lips, carefully dragging her palm over each mark. Some were fresher than others, newly scarred. Each one fed the familiar fire growing in her chest. “You'll…” Nonetheless Vysehna to stop, swallow, and prepare herself before continuing. As much as she enjoyed the idea of being the firm-but-kind mistress, she had never dolled out a punishment before “You'll receive twenty strokes along your shoulders. I'll have you count, thank me after each one and then ask for the next. Sound agreeable?”

 

Sapphire nodded, always the docile boy, but his face was wan. “Twenty with the… the heavy cane, my La--?”

 

“No.” Vysehna didn’t even let him really finish speaking. “With the light one. The other two are gone.”

 

“Gone?” He looked at her then, pupils blown wide.

 

She nodded. “Gone. I threw them away; I didn't think you would ever do anything to warrant such a cruel instrument.”

 

Sapphire released a shuddering breath, eyes fluttering. Vysehna thought he might be relieved. Bidding her pet to stand, Vysehna retrieved the thin cane from where it lay across her desk, and glanced at him over her shoulder. No longer a tightly wound coil, Sapphire seemed almost relaxed. He even smiled softly at her, appearing unbothered by the switch in her hands.

 

“Is there a specific position you should assume?” She inquired. Even with the instrument in her hand, it was easy to talk to him. Truly, Vysehna thought the two of them might be true friends if they had met on an equal board. An ironic ideal, yes, considering she was about to leave him welted and presumably in a lot of pain. But that was a good quality of a pet, no? Despite his blunder, Vysehna still felt comfortable with his presence.

 

Sapphire nodded and widened his stance, interlocking his fingers and placing them on the back of his head. Vysehna shuffled the few steps to stand behind him, heart beginning to thrum in a fast, deliberate beat against the weight in her hand.

 

“I've never done this before,”Vysehna warned, again pausing to brush her fingers along the gentle warmth of his skin. “It looks like the King tried to avoid your lower back.” Probably because of his kidneys, and other important organs. “So I'll focus them on your upper shoulders. I don't mean to cause terrible damage, but expect no finesse.”

 

“Yes, my Lady,”he answered smoothly. “But do not worry; the light candy can only do so much. I will survive twenty strokes easily.”

 

“Aren't you cocky,”she hummed. Sapphire frowned, a stiff line forming down his spine.

 

“I was… only attempting to reassure you. My apologies, Mistress.”

 

Vysehna could only laugh softly, and touched the rounded tip of the cane to Sapphire's left shoulder blade. “I was teasing, Pet. No worries. Are you prepared?”

 

Sapphire dipped his head, “Yes my Lady. May I have the first stroke?”

 

Warmth began coiling in her stomach, and Vysehna inhaled sharply. His voice had suddenly became low and lovely, as if he was murmuring pleas and praise into the curves of her flesh. She didn't know want to make of it. What to _do_ with it. So, Vysehns struck him.

 

The resounding snap of wood on skin ripped through her bones, sucking the air from her lungs. It struck her stupid.

 

Sapphire was still breathing deep and even, unfazed by the bright red line that had appeared across the smooth arc of his shoulder. “One. Thank you Mistress,”came his delicious voice, “May I have another?”

 

Fuck. The rush hit her hard, nearly knocking Vysehna off of her feet, liquor finally taking hold.

 

Another strike, this time harder and followed by a low keen. “Two. Thank you Mistress. May I have another?”

 

She loved it. Each strike was like lightning, singing her core and heating it a glowing white. Another hit, another dose of his lovely voice. Another red line, along his spine and over the crest of his neck. Each time, Sapphire stood unwavering, even as sweat broke out along his arms. Unaffected.

Unfortunately, Vysehna couldn't say the same for herself. Her breath was in shambles, her face was more red than his marks, and even as her arm grew to ache Vysehna bathed in the power held in her palm.

 

Four years she had spent herded like cattle from lesson to lesson. Tutor to tutor. Given a job she didn't want, sent on a mission she didn't care about. Ripped away from her newfounded kin on some stupid woman's guilt. No say. Never any word in what she learned, who she spoke to, or even where she went. But here, with Sapphire and his lovely voice, Vysehna could be a god.

 

To Sapphire, she could be his axis on which his whole world moved. Vysehna drank in the power like fresh wine. Reveled in it.

 

But by the twelfth strike, her face was wet. Sapphire didn't notice, firm and unbroken, but there were tears on her cheeks. Vysehna struck him a thirteenth time, listening to his gasps, and swallowed hard. She would be a priority. Finally, she would be on the forefront of someone's mind for more than a heartbeat. Sapphire brought her food every day at lunch, always bright and lively, and unlaced her shoes every night before he went off to bed. He never forgot, never assumed.

 

What did it matter that he lied once? Over something foolish. Vysehna was finally a priority to someone. Someone _cared,_  maybe for their own sake but fuck, did it even matter? If you spent four years stranded on an island, would you care that your rescue was a dingy and not a golden navel cruise?

 

“Twenty. Thank you Mistress, may I have another?”

 

“No.” The tremor in her voice gave it away. Sapphire twisted to look at her, and Vysehna hissed and jabbed his side with the cane, “Remain steady!”

 

He obeyed, reluctantly, but he obeyed regardless. Because of course he did. A liar, yes, maybe, but always obedient. Always lovely and docile and perfect.

 

Vysehna tossed the cane to the floor, hands clapped over her mouth to stifle the sob the escaped. Sapphire's back was a menagerie of angry marks, but he was fine. Fine, and worried about her. Because she owned him? Yes. Because he was dependent on her from everything from food to clothing? Absolutely. It didn't matter.

 

It was so much better than nothing.

 

“I’m fine,”she told him, upon steadying her voice. “I'm okay. I promise, don't worry. You did well.”

 

“Thank you, my Lady,”Sapphire hedged cautiously. “May I ask why you're upset?”

 

Vysehna shook her head to herself, swallowing feel breath of air. “I'm being foolish, you needn't worry. Here--" she took Sapphire by the arm and led him to the bed. “Lie down. I have to fetch a salve; some of those are dangerously close to opening.”

 

Sapphire nodded and lied down on his belly, releasing a ragged breath as he did. “Thank you Mistress. I… I am still sorry.”

 

Vysehna smiled as she palmed the tears from her face, and gently patted his hip, “I know pet, but I forgive you.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took awhile, and I still don't have much to show for it. This 'chapter' was inordinately difficult to write, and I didn't have the energy to edit it. Thankfully, I have a good portion of the next one done as well, so hopefully that makes up for it.

Sapphire could still taste the vomit in the back of his throat. He had heaved again as soon as Vysehna had strode from the Captain's office, spattering bile across the lovely wooden floor. Kæder held his hair back, cooing assurances at he cried. It hadn't helped.

 

The full weight of what he'd done-- destroy the one chance at a decent life-- had come crashing down on him, threatening to break his bones like twigs. Even the Captain seemed to pity the him, speaking with Kæder in low tones while the first mate held Sapphire close. She was warm, hard muscle wrapped in a layer of matronly bulk, but Sapphire was so cold. She wasn't his mistress. Did he even have one anymore?

 

The Captain assured him that he was have a talk with Vysehna, after she had time to cool down. His two superiors had even shared an offhand remark about how Vysehna had always been a girl of flickering fires, meant to raise his spirits. It didn't.

 

Now, he was face down on his Mistress’ bed, with her hands lulling the pain away and the air smelling like peppermint. When was the last time there had been peace like this? Sapphire was shirtless, a regular event, but everything else was in place. Pants and underthings were on, for both parties, and while there were hands on him they didn't roam. They simply smeared the paste on, massaging lightly. No coy gestures, teeth on his flesh. Sapphire wasn't a toy just then. He was a human, man. Cared for.

 

When Vysehna was satisfied, she capped the jar of sweet smelling balm and set it aside. “That should begin feeling better soon,”she murmured. The rest of the salve on her fingers was dispensed across the tense muscles of his shoulders. “It’s a relaxant, combined with a cooling agent. A medicinal variant on a common paralysis formula, if you'll believe it.”

 

He did. Already, his muscles had turned sluggish, comfortably numb. But it didn't freeze him. Didn't restrain him.

 

“Look at you,”Vysehna was chuckling, her puffy cheeks shadowed in the candle light as one of her hands found the small of his back, “No more than a cat, sunning himself.”

 

 _The sun's gone down,_ Sapphire thought, but it made him smile nonetheless. He hid it in the pillow of his arms, releasing a heaving sigh.

 

“Thank you, my Lady,”whispered Sapphire.

 

“How are you feeling? Emotionally, I mean.” The world stuttered as Vysehna placed a hand on the small of his back, and Sapphire momentarily forgot to breathe. He wasn't afraid, though the feeling of her fingers always seemed to rip the air from his lungs.

 

“Good,”swallowed Sapphire. When his Lady made a disbelieving noise, he hurried to add, “I feel-- calm. Like I don't have to be nervous right now.”

 

Vysehna tilted her head, the loose wave of her hair caught in a stray breeze from the open window. “Truly?”

 

Nodding, Sapphire tilted his head to see her more clearly, showing her his smile. “His Highness never bothered to care for me is such a way, certainly not after a punishment. It has shown me that I must be, at least, close to entering your good graces once more. Or you a very kind and lovely woman; either which way, I am at ease.”

 

“Charmer.”

 

His smile widened, heartbeat flickering. “As I was trained to be, my Lady.”

 

They fell into an amiable silence, Sapphire allowing his head to sag back against the pillow and Vysehna tracing an invisible line across his spine. Beneath them, the Gaelyn swayed and bobbed on easy waters, barely the whisper of waves outside. It was a promising night.

 

Sapphire had been on voyages before, accompanying his master as he always did. The king stayed in quarters similar to these, just larger, and more often than not Sapphire was forbidden from leaving them. Those nights were spent similar to this, but the quiet was broken by sharp pants, gasps, and the occasional whine. Hands fisted in the sheets, his hair, bruises and love bites leaving him in a patchwork of aches the next morning. The word _whore_ chanted in his ear, _mine_ scrawled across his body in the way of scars and scratches.

 

 _Whore_.

 

That had been his name with Lord Malco, in those first months. His name cut away like necrotic flesh, his language ground from his bones and the soft sunkissed glow of his skin bleached with dark rooms.

 

“Where are you from, Sapphire?”

 

The question struck him worse than the cane, his entire body drawn stiff like a too-heavy puppet. “Wha--”Sapphire had to blink, like a fool, and force his chest to move. “--what do you mean, my Lady?”

 

Vysehna frowned, hand stilling, and shrugged. “I mean, you aren't from Ferdal. You couldn't be, unless your kin were immigrants. Rainier though somewhere in the east. I'm guessing further south, maybe a little south west.”

 

Heat shot through him, his face and chest going red hot. Vysehna was right, because of course she was. The anger came bright, with fervor, gnawing at Sapphire to spit something witty. To flutter his lashes, croon and writhe in the way he had been taught to at least distract her so that he didn't have to bear this.

 

Was it a test? Had Sanyr informed his niece of the cruel games he dabbled in? Did Vysehna know of the ways Sapphire had been forced to renounce his homeland? Tarnish his family name and whatever meager honor they had left.

 

His heart hammered, into the bed and down into the depths of the ship. Maybe it woke Tresser and all of her kin.

 

“It…” _Just talk, you fucking idiot. Just tell her and get it over with. If she knows, she knows._ “It might be in my papers?” Sapphire wanted to take the cane back to his body. “I don’t know if His Highness wrote it down--”

 

“It isn't. I've looked.”

 

Sapphire wanted to scream, or maybe even cry. There was so little of himself he had left, water slipping through his fingers, couldn't she let him keep this one thing? This one stupid, tiny piece of the Him that had been? Malco knew, the king ought to have known. If Vysehna didn't, it was like a severed tie. Sapphire could pretend that wasn't him, that his life had always been this way. He was a whore through his heart and soul, always had been. Talking about things like this made it too real.

 

How could he stay numb if things became real? How could he be a good pet if he had ties to someone else?

 

But, would it hurt worse than anything he had already faced? Vysehna was so good at flipping his expectations and then squashing them. She had been kind when he lied, gentle and soothing when he'd lost himself and cried at her feet. Maybe his mistress wouldn't mind him having this kernel of Man hidden away inside him.  

 

What would Vysehna do, Sapphire wondered, if he turned to her now and called her _Silrùni_. He could hear it now, flowing off of his father's lips as he brought fresh wildflowers  home. Nothing distinct, certainly not in the bastard-born, stone-against-metal dialect that was the Trade tongue, and Fawen by extension. The closest Sapphire could describe it would be ‘woman of all my thoughts’. Minus the romantic connotation, it was submissive in essence, and true enough given the circumstance. Vysehna might not be offended. She might even be pleased.

 

He wanted to. Needed to, by nothing more than her command. His Lady deserved every inch of him, inside and out. Vysehna was good and kind, and even if she wasn't, this was his Lady, his Mistress. Sapphire owned her every thing he had to give.

 

“Nu’Haan, my Lady. I was born just shy of the capitol,”he whispered, after what felt like an eternity.

 

Vysehna paused, and Sapphire waited for her to curse him for breaking the illusion. But his mistress only chuckled, “That's just south. Hurrah; I should have put money on it.” the hand on his back resumed, slowly leeching the speed from his racing heart. “Thank you for telling me,”she added, and Sapphire frowned.

 

Was that it? He's been preparing to grovel.  But Vysehna had taken it like the weather. Sapphire supposed he should be happy; it wasn't like he was eager to answer more questions. Maybe he had been hoping Vysehna would be interested in the Him that existed beyond it all. The Him that loved the stars, and felt pity for the scarred feral dogs they sometimes passed in the city. But, to no fault, Vysehna wanted a pet. Not a lover or a friend. So Sapphire tucked away his pocket self, deemed this a close-call and a victory, and forced himself to return to ease.

 

“Of course Mistress. You own every inch of me; I am happy to offer up any piece upon your request.”

 

Sapphire knew he'd said the wrong thing when Vysehna remained quiet. Her hand drifted higher, the pads of her fingers grazing his ribs, and Sapphire tried not to shudder.

 

“Have you always been naturally skinny?”

 

The question took him by surprise. Eyes flitting to the expanse of bones his Lady was examining, Sapphire grimaced. “I… Don’t know. I never really got the chance to fill out, so maybe?”

 

Vysehna hummed, the pressure of her touch growing marginally as she poked and prodded, doing the same on his other side. Maybe she was looking for evidence of injuries? Whatever her reasons, Sapphire couldn’t stop his head from going muzzy again. Like on the brink of sleep, but aware of Vysehna’s every breath. She made a curious sound, a hand sliding down to brace against his hip, “Nu’haan’s a fairly poor country, yes? I can’t imagine you were ever encouraged to stuff your face.”

 

“Not with food, no,”murmured Sapphire. Then the world yawned into sharp focus. Sapphire felt his throat swell, shame exploding icy cold in his chest. Poison through his veins. The whore hidden under the proper mask. The silence was a dagger through his chest, cutting off the bubbling apologies.

 

But then Vysehna was laughing.  _Laughing._ The sharp silence was gone in a single breath, and his mistress was crowing like Sapphire had told the funniest joke in the world. He craned his neck, doing his best to watch her over his shoulder and ignoring the cold sweat now gluing him to the sheets. Her eyes were bright when they settled on him, every inch of Vysehna’s body singing with satisfaction. As if Sapphire had spent the past hour pleasuring her, and it had finally come to a peak.

 

The cold in his blood gave way to a lulling warmth, and suddenly Sapphire could breathe again.

 

His Lady leaned down, blessing his shoulder with a delicate kiss. “Aren’t you a funny boy,”she breathed. The heat of her along his body was unbelievable. It reminded him of those pleasantly hot days in Nu’haan, when he was still the pure boy that helped his mother clean the house.

 

Vysehna left to fetch dinner for the both of them, leaving Sapphire with the command to stay lying down. Evidently, whatever bitterness his mistress felt towards the Captain and his first mate for their earlier lie was still at the forefront of her mind.

 

In the sudden emptiness of Vysehna’s quarters, Sapphire hid his face in his arms. Under the King’s hand, Sapphire’s every thought had been in relation to his master’s happiness, not lying to him or turning his closest friends and family into untrustworthy liars. For nearly a decade, he had been a devoted pet no matter the circumstance. If his master required him to play entertainer at a private party, Sapphire obeyed without question. Why was that suddenly so difficult?

 

It didn’t matter. She was Sapphire’s best chance at a contented life. It was unlikely that Vysehna would tolerate another misstep. He had to get a hold of himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your comments! I know I don't respond to them often (mostly because I can't think of anything to say) but they all mean a lot to me!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who~ ... my apologies for this chapter also being later than usual, especially after promising to not take forever. Life kind of got in the way. But I did try and edit this one a little bit so, I hope it isn't wrought with typos like the last few.

The dining hall was packed, as always, and smelled like smoked meat. The rows of tables were crammed with nearly every single crew member, elbows to elbows, some with meals in front of them and others just laughing along with their friends. 

 

The Captain met her as soon as Vysehna stepped through the swinging door, his eyes glowing like molten gold in the candle light. “How’s your boy?”he inquired quietly. Dressed in a simple uniform, he looked more akin to the other sailors than a captain. Draped in a wispy blue hedged in silver.

 

It reminded her of Sapphire’s original suit.

 

“He’s fine,”breathed Vysehna. Rainier sought her eye, but she avoided it. “He seems content, actually. The salve made quick work of any discomfort.”

 

Rainier nodded, expression flickering into a grimace. “Where is he? You didn’t send him to eat with the rest of the staff, did you?”

 

Vysehna hissed, “Of course not. What do you take me for?” The Captain didn’t speak, but she could tell from the purse of his lips what he was thinking. Shaking her head, Vysehna huffed, “No. He’s still in my quarters.”

 

“You aren’t eating down here? I’m sure we could make room--”

 

“No.” It came out colder than Vysehna intended. The Captain actually seemed to flinch, and she hated herself for feeling satisfied. Good, let him feel hurt, he deserves it. At least for a little while. Rainier opened his mouth to say something, brow creased. Vysehna walked away. 

 

She met a servant halfway across the floor. An antsy young man on bouncing feet, and put through her demands. The whole while, her was staring at her like Vysehna may very well rip out his throat. He dashed away, a scared little rabbit, and Vysehna sighed. 

 

An unfamiliar face; he must have been a new acquisition picked up somewhere across her years away. There was so much of this ship that she had known and now no longer recognized. So much had changed over her time away. The people she grew up with, now had their own lives. Businesses, stocks, relationships. Hell, a few of them had children on the mainland. Had they even missed her?

 

God, wasn't that a selfish thought. She almost had to shake her head at herself. 

 

Of course they missed her, they had simply moved on. Just because Vysehna hadn't had the chance to grow into her own didn't mean everyone else would be subject to the same stunting. 

 

Her thoughts drifted to Sapphire, as they did often lately. Sprawled out face down on her bed, the delicately scarred muscles of his back glistening in the lantern light. Purring like a contented kitty. His eyes dancing when he realized he had made her laugh. 

 

Nu'Haan. Vysehna wouldn't have guessed that. Well, she had, and definitely should have put money on it. But it was a shot in the dark. Nu'Haan was just south of Ferdal, a coastal country constantly shrouded in humidity thick enough to drink. The people were copper skinned, with curly earthen hair and soft features. Sapphire was the full moon against the midnight sky of his hair. The slant of his jaw could cut glass, eyes a sharp slash of blue. 

 

A warm culture, if her history lessons were accurate. The nobility left quite a bit to be desired, considering the deficit they had run the country into, but Vysehna could see where Sapphire had gotten his gentle heart. What she assumed to be gentle, anyways. He seemed the kind of man to stop a parade to help a turtle cross the road. The fact that there was any man left within him was still astounding.

 

She almost wished she hadn't asked. It was something Sapphire obviously wanted to keep private. But he was an enigma, and Vysehna never could stop sticking her nose where it didn't belong.

 

Vysehna still felt the weight of the cane in her hand, its flex and give as she tested the first swing. The welts Sapphire received at her hand were superficial, barely more damage than a rope burn, save for a few near the end. It made her wonder, morbidly, what the other canes could do. 

 

Not that she would ever know; the two heaviest canes were now bobbing along in the current, miles back.

 

The servant found her again, hovering near a card game where the crew members were using clusters of beads in the place of coin. He passed her the tray, after a meager amount of protest on behalf of the boy. In the end, he was more than happy to allow Vysehna to carry the tray on her own. She could only sighed. 

 

Out on deck, there were a few people milling about, in clusters or just wandering the Gaelyn at their will. A simple handful on nightly duties. Kæder was, as expected, perched on a barrel with an old cat eating out of her hand near the bow.

 

The air was brisk, catching Vysehna’s unbound hair. It stank of salt water and fish, wet rope and canvas. She took in a deep breath, peering up at the slate black sky. This was what home smelled like to her.

 

 On the way back to her room, Vysehna spotted a pair tucked into a dark corner of the corridor, just above the descending stairs, the low light leaving them in shadows. She tensed, heart stumbling, thinking of the weapons she used to carry. But then, a woman's laugh, a flash of teeth. Vysehna snorted. Sucked in a breath, kept moving, and berated herself for getting startled.

  
  
  


Formally speaking, Rainier didn't allow for such fraternization among his crew. Informally speaking, he wasn't an idiot. And Vysehna wasn't a tattletale.

 

Sapphire was up when she entered the cabin, face lit by the light glinting off the waves. The windows were closed now, the candles out. He turned to face her, a dark figure backlit by moonlight. Shirt clutched in hand, the band of his silken pants hung dangerously low across his hips. Vysehna’s mouth went dry.

 

“My Lady,”he greeted, with a tentative dip of his head. His eyes, silver in the drags of the moon, tracked her every movement. The axis of his world. 

 

Vysehna forced herself to move, stepping around her pet and dropping the tray on the table with a jarring  _ clank _ . She removed the two plate covers, Vysehna cleared her throat. “I thought I told you to stay in bed?”

 

A swallow, invisible in the dark but loud enough to hear, and then a tremulous, “Yes. But I was… was looking for a means to relight the candles.”

 

_ Lie _ .

 

It ticked against her senses, a marble against glass. Vysehna jerked, dropping the covers a little harder than intended, and twisted to stare at him. Really? Was he really lying to her, now? With the poultice staining her mattress and the Mark's on his back. Her eyes roved over him, his silhouette, the sharp curve of his bones as they dropped. The fire in her chest reigniting, Vysehna sucked in a heavy breath, readying to send him away. 

But she drew up short. The last time Sapphire had lied, it was a brazen and poorly drawn patchwork of bullshit. This was something else. Not… not a lie. If the shame in his tone was anything to catch on.

 

Vysehna forced herself to breathe. She retrieved the small striker from her dresser, tracing the floors by memory, and lit the lanterns on the walls. The cane lay propped against the armoire, Vysehna deliberately ignoring it as she turned back. Sapphire returned to his knees, taking care not to stretch his back in any terrible way.

 

“Sapphire,”breathed Vysehna, as she eased into one if the chairs. Another swallow, head bowing. He was a smart boy, so why did he keep acting like an idiot? “If there's something you don't want to tell me, I request that you just be honest about it, yes? I won't require you to bare your deepest secret for me. But I don't deal in lies and half truths. All right?”

 

White knuckling the shirt in his lap, Sapphire nodded quickly. “Yes Mistress,”he whispered. 

 

“Is there a secondary reason as to why you were up and about? Snooping, tryin--”

 

Sapphire gasped. “I would  _ never! _ ”He denied, affronted. “Never, my Lady, I swear it.” 

 

Vysehna released a heavy breath, staring at the meal of fish and vegetables she'd ordered for the both of them. “Very well. What is the reason then?”

 

He pressed his lips together, a few strands of hair clinging to the sweat on his brow. “I.. I was looking for a means to light the candles, my Lady. But I… stopped, to look outside.”

 

“Why?”

 

Sapphire shifted on his knees. “I like the stars. I've been too… busy, to enjoy them the last few nights.”

 

“Stars?”Vysehna echoed, “Truly?” 

 

A rapid nod. Well, now she felt like a bit of an ass. 

 

“Very well,”she accepted at last, to Sapphire’s great relief. For a moment they sat in silence, Vysehna settling her nerves and Sapphire deliberately evening out his breathing. Then she coughed, swallowed, and, desperate to end the tense moment, plucked up a piece of small yellow pepper off of Sapphire’s plate. “Here,”she rasped, holding it out to him. “We don't usually get these in Ferdal; it's too cold.”

 

He eyed her for a long minute, staring at the item in her hand as if it were a snake poised to strike. Then, to Vysehna's complete surprise, he leaned forward and plucked it from her grasp. With his teeth. Breath hot against her fingertips, lips just brushing her nails. Every single thought went out of her head. Vysehna could only blink, heart hammering, as Sapphire chewed. His mouth quirked to the side.

 

“I like it,”he declared softly, and then his eyes went wide as he took in Vysehna, frozen stiff. Hands flying to his mouth and face turning a frightening shade of red, Sapphire whispered,“I wasn't supposed to do that, was I? I'm sorry, truly-- I swear I--”

 

“It’s okay,”Vysehna cut in, a little more sharply than she meant. “It’s okay, I promise. It’s alright.” Those doe eyes were round in the limited light, the lines of his face more jagged, cut with shadows as Sapphire nodded like a drunken sailor. They peered at each other for a long second, Sapphire not directly at her but still blatantly staring, and Vysehna trying to ignore the heat blossoming in her belly. Then she coughed again, broke the match and twisted the face the table. 

 

Sapphire just barely had time to grab his plate when Vysehna thrust it at him, even less time to catch the cup.  Then they ate in silence, because what did you say when you broken, battered man-slave ate a pepper out of your hand? Her first thought, that it was probably the most adorable thing Sapphire had done as of yet, was completely off of the table. The heat in her face assured her that Vysehna was indeed flushed as horribly as said man-slave. She couldn’t even enjoy the meal; throat too dry and head too fogged, Vysehna was focused on trying to stop behaving like an adolescent boy to taste the flavors she had spent the past few days practically getting drunk on.

 

God, what was wrong with her? A man-- a fully grown man-- eating out of her hand shouldn’t be something she enjoyed watching. Vysehna had never had a reason to coin herself a deviant before, but she certainly did now. A little bit of vulnerability from a man that had been taken and torn apart, and she was enjoying it.

 

When their food was gone, Sapphire rocked forward to slip his dishes back onto the tray, before once again fixing her with that nervous, desperate sort of gaze. 

 

“Have I upset you again, my Lady?”

 

Vysehna forced herself to swallow to last sip of her fruit juice, wishing she had ordered wine, and shook her head. “No, of course not. I was just… unprepared. Were you…” Vysehna cleared her throat. “Were you fed in that manner often?”

 

Sapphire shook his head soberly. “No, my Lady. His Highness only fed me when he found my behavior exceptional-- which was why I was confused, since I’ve only given you reason to be cross with me.” 

 

“You haven’t been that bad,”Vysehna put in, unable to stand the edge of his voice. As if the whole of him rested on whether or not she saw him as a decent pet. “This was a… hiccup, for certain. But you’ve done well to keep me happy. “

 

“Like when I tried to continuing obeying the King, over you? Or ‘forgot’ to mention I was left to the floor?”

 

Vysehna eyed his wry smile when it appeared, folding her hands over her belly as she amended, “Like when you brought me lunch without being commanded, or when you removed my shoes for me with no prompting.”

 

Sapphire ducked his head, almost shyly, and smoothed his palms over his head. She liked the shorter hair better; it suited his face, made him look more like a person and not a doll. Although he had been no less pretty when it was several feet long.

 

“Those are just the makings of a good slave, Mistress. I don’t have to be commanded to keep you comfortable.”

 

She raised an eyebrow. “What would constitute exceptional behavior, then?”

 

“I… if I may be honest, I don’t know, my Lady.” A nervous scratch of his temple. “My usual means of ensuring comfort has been removed. I am still learning how to act without it.”

 

“Are you telling me you’d rather I allow you to act as my whore?”

 

“No!” Sapphire yelped, “No, that’s not what I meant at all, Mistress. I am-- grateful, yes, very grateful to not have to behave that way. But it… complicates things, somewhat. Or, who knows; I’ve only served men before now, maybe things are different with women from the fundamentals, and I just don’t know any better… It’s probably that one.”

 

Vysehna couldn’t help but laugh at his anxious ramblings, some of her tension fading. “I think you lack the proper faith in yourself, Sapphire. You’re doing fine.”

 

“But… you had to cane me.”

 

“And you took it well.”

 

“I made you cry.”

 

Vysehna huffed, cheeks going hot again. She waved her hand. “That had nothing to do with your punishment.” A half truth, at best. “There were other things at play that were not your fault. You needed concern yourself with that, I promise.”

 

A line of stiffness faded from his shoulders, one that she hadn’t realized was there, and Sapphire slowly nodded. “I… hope I was able to help, then?”

 

Leaning back in her chair, Vysehna considered that. It had been a relief. Not only shedding the tears but… the whipping itself had relieved some soreness in her soul. Quashed down rage. It wasn’t good, for either of them. But the past few years didn’t weigh quite as heavily now. Whether or not that was due to the actual punishment or the realization of how devoted Sapphire truly was, she couldn’t be certain. Hopefully it was the latter. 

 

Drawing the curtains over the window to stop the early morning sun, Vysehna rose and trekked the few feet to her bed. Sapphire followed, a leashed dog, and sunk to his knees to begin handling the laces of her boots. Still, she could smell the poultice on him; the cooling agent, an oil extracted from leaves of mint, still hung heavily in the room. It was a lovely scent, and it suited him well. Sapphire was a mint sort of man, Vysehna figured. 

 

Peering down at his nimble fingers, Vysehna inquired, “Why do you do this? I’m sure my uncle made you every eve, but-- why?”

 

Sapphire tilted his head, cat-like. “I’m not sure, my Lady. But, as it is my place, perhaps it is meant to remind me?”

 

Whatever the purpose was, Vysehna couldn’t lie to herself well enough to pretend she didn’t enjoy it. The submission, the warmth. The people who had hurt this man, Sanyr and that Lord Malco, were monsters in every sense of the word, had it threaded through holes in their bones. But she understood it now. Perhaps monsters were just very lonely. 

 

It sounded like something her mother would have said. 

 

“Do your knees ever get sore?”Vysehna asked, as Sapphire set the first boot aside.

 

He made a thoughtful noise. “Not anymore. When I was younger, yes. After I built up the proper calluses, I was fine.”

 

“I didn’t think calluses were befitting a whore?” That… won a laugh. Half of one, at least. And a smile that just about stole the air from the room.

 

“They aren’t. That’s why they’re only on my knees.”

 

“Ah yes,”chuckled Vysehna. “No roaming hands stop on the knees. Convenient.”

 

Sapphire nodded his agreement, the grin on his face growing wider. Marginally, but it was still beautiful. Then the second boot was off, and Sapphire settled back on his heels. “Is there anything else you require of me tonight, my Lady?”

 

Dampening the lightness in her chest, Vysehna was seized by the sudden urge to tell him to stay. Her rooms had been empty of substance for years, and she truly enjoyed his company. And Sapphire was supposed to be her pet, wasn’t he? The bed was large,. It wasn’t out of the question for Vysehna to have him rest out across the foot of it, or on the rug swathed in plentiful comforters to keep out the evening chill. 

 

_ No _ , Vysehna told herself, with a discontented sigh.  _ The man needs peace, for a little while. He’ll be too focused on you to rest properly. _

 

“No,”she said aloud. “I’m sated for the night. Take the dishes down to the kitchens-- or, bring them to someone so they can do it for you, if you want. Then you can go as you please. Be careful of your back.”

 

Sapphire nodded a slight affirmative. He rose in a single movement, graceful as any dancer, and searched in the meager light for his shirt abandoned in front of the table. Beyond the dressing screen, the quiet shuffle of fabric, and the clatter of dishes. The room already felt colder.

 

As Sapphire’s outline reached for the door knob, Vysehna cleared her throat. “I heard from Kæder that you spent the night out of the deck with her,” she hedged, off kilter. "If, for any reason, you can’t sleep in your cot, wherever Lawrence has you stored, you are welcome here.”

 

She couldn’t make out his expression at this distance, but Vysehna told herself he was still smiling. 

 

“Thank you, my Lady. I appreciate your kindness.”

 

And then he was gone, and Vysehna was left feeling like an idiot. “Bleeding heart,”she cursed to herself, kicking the boots under the bed and switching into a pair of sleeping clothes. She wasn’t any better than a young girl, latching onto any attention a boy showed her. Sapphire was a husk of a man at best; kind, yes. Devoted, yes. Loyal, probably. But it was likely that any affection he held for her was founded in her being an opportunity, not because he enjoyed her company.

 

Wasn’t that the story of her fucking life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there; tis I, who is alive and still writing. This chapter was incredibly difficult to put together, let alone finish, hence the extra long delay. So enjoy the POV shift towards the end as repayment (as I've said before, Sapphire is infinitely easier to write for, which is why the quality increases as you read lmao).

Vysehna was all teeth and hard edges. Throughout her adolescence on the Gaelyn, Vysehna had never been willing to back down from a fight. After her years being groomed as a diplomat, those teeth were dull, her edges softer; carnivore turned herbivore.

 

But whatever raw material she had been molded from, Vysehna was still rough-hewn. Blustered with pride and easily angered. This was likely why her temper was flaring, as she and the Rainier stared each other down over the Captain’s desk. They were both on their feet, papers spread in a wild fan between them.

 

“There's no sense to it!”Rainier barked. “The King wouldn't act for thrill; he has to have a reason!”

 

Vysehna bared her teeth. “Kraiel is torn by their recent civil war, they need an alliance to prevent a hostile takeover. Sanyr wants easy resources. It isn't that difficult!”

 

A wild helpless gesture, Lawrence waved his hands. From the corner or her eye, Vysehna saw Sapphire, tucked away between two bookshelves, flinch like a beaten dog. Did Rainier notice? Or was he too searching for hidden meaning where there was nothing.

 

“I came here to discuss strategies, not get yapped at by an overzealous dog,” snapped Vysehna. “Whether or not Sanyr has ulterior motives is not my concern.”

 

Rainier shook his head, brow pinched. With their reddened hair and their narrow features, the two of them could have been misconstrued as kin. Had been on several occasions, usually when it was either inconvenient or dangerous. Lawrence was her senior by nearly three decades, but Vysehna felt like she was debating the ethics of going to bed at a reasonable hour with some disobedient child.

 

Shaking his head, Rainier shuffled through a few of the papers on his desk. “Do you even have any contacts? Or did he just send you in blind and ask you to play nice.”

 

“I have a contact!”Vysehna quipped, indignantly. “A man named Caius. Who do you think provided these reports? Sanyr sent someone ahead to test the waters and when it was apparent that things would be well received--”

 

“And why couldn't he argue an alliance on behalf of Ferdal? Why did he have to send you?”

 

Vysehna drew up short. Fire in her face, her chest, rapidly giving way to frost. Dry ice in her blood. Her innards spoiled, chunky milk. Bastard. _Bastard_. She wanted to spit at him.

 

Rainier signed, seeming to relent at whatever had appeared on her face. Even Sapphire seemed a little hapless, a step closer than he had been a second ago.

 

“Vys, I--”

 

Then Vysehna was gathered the papers. Bumbling, flimsy hands. Just get away, just get away. Lawrence reached for her. Teeth clenched, world frozen, Vysehna smacked his hand away.

 

“Don’t touch me. We will continue this later.”

 

“Vysehna--”

 

She snapped her and Sapphire immediately appeared at her side. Vysehna thrust the bundle of papers into his arms and stormed out of the office.

 

He hadn't meant it that way. She was being oversensitive.

 

Sapphire followed her obediently back to her quarters, the papers held protectively to his chest. Eyes on the ground, face blank and quiet. Vysehna clenched her hands as they walked, trying to master the trembling in her bones. This wasn't a big deal. She _knew_ it wasn't. She was overreacting. But God, that stung worse than any blow Vysehna had ever received.

 

And hadn't it been the same story everywhere else? Her friends, new people. Good people, but new nonetheless. They were different breeds. Oil to water, fish to fruit. Maybe the same had become true of Rainier.

 

“Are you okay, Mistress?”asked Sapphire, quiet and nervous as he set the papers on her desk.

 

“Of course.” The answer came on reflex. Vysehna pretended she meant it.

 

Sapphire turned to her, eyes bright and earnest. “It's… alright, if you aren't,”he hedged. “The Captain lashed out improperly.”

 

“He didn't mean it.”

 

Shaking his head, Sapphire breathed, “Of course not. He cares for you. But perhaps he should have been a bit less… callous. Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

“No. You are dismissed.” It's harsher than she intended, a protruding barb from the wound Rainier speared her with. Sapphire only blinks, his posture tightening, the stiff line of his body going straight as the mass of a ship. Vysehna doesn't look at him, wont look at him. Her face is too hot, stomach too tight. She wants him gone, she wants him to remain.

 

 _Stay_ , she thinks, and hates herself for it. She didn't want him to leave. Wants him to take another step, come before her and say that she wasn't a child. That it was all right to be upset.

 

But Sapphire is dutiful, perfect in all the wrong ways. He isn't a mind reader, and he knows to heed her commands. He bows, stiff backed, vanishing through the door. And Vysehna is left to her thoughts.

 

There was a knock at her door, not ten minutes later. Sharp, rhythmic. Vysehna wal ready to split on the floor as she clambered to the feet. If it was the Captain, in all his paper apologies, Vysehna knew she was going to say things she would come to regret. Then the door banged open, hard enough that there was definitely a dent on the other side.

 

“Don’t break my door, you oaf!”Vysehna cried, even as the relief that struck her was nearly enough to take her to the floor.

 

Mattias stood there, so wide he barely fit through the door. “You were taking too long; was worried you didn't hear me.” He kicked the door shut behind him, a mighty move that also almost broke the door. Dressed in his uniform, the slick brown mop of his hair sheared short, Vysehna might not have recognized him. Might not have, if not for that stupid grin. Like a dog that knew he had just gotten away with stealing scraps off of the table. Vysehna scowled at him and, ignoring the loose twang of her chest, twisted to examine the mark left by Mattias’ attitude.

 

“The wall's fine, Vys.”

 

She made a noise of distress, thumbing the hearty notch. “Let me hear you say that when I kick a hole through your wall.” Mattias laughed, and the tension in her body turned to liquid metal.

 

Vysehna turned, still frowning as she settled her feet on the ground. “What do you want, Mattias?” she quipped. “Besides to break my door.” That shit-eating grin of his became a smirk. He held up the bottle in his hand, fat and dusky green.

 

“Someone clued me into your little temper tantrum, figured a little bit a’ extra spirits would do some good to raise yours.”

 

The heat moved to her face, shoulders taut again. Vysehna bared her teeth. “I am not having a temper tantrum.”

 

“Are you sure? Cause it certainly looks like it from here.”

 

She really did spit on the floor, grabbing for the wine, and subsequently snarling when Mattias easily kept it from her reach.

 

“C'mon Princess, what sort of manners they got you learning?”

 

Bastard. Mattias was seven different kinds of bastard, all of them shrewd faced and too built for their own good. Did now really seem like a good time to taunt her? His jibes rarely say well anyways, was he such a fucking idiot that he thought it well and good to poke the lion? She didn't have the patience for this.

 

Mattias must have realized something when Vysehna threw up her hands, admitted defeat, because his smirk dropped like a leaden weight. “I heard somethin’ got at you,”he reiterated, and Vysehna appreciated that much more. She also appreciated the bottle held out in her direction.

 

It was too easy to pop the cork. “Did Rainier say something?”

 

“Uh-uh, your boy.”

 

Vysehna blinked, finishing her heart gulp. “Sapphire?”she rasped, voice rough on cheap liquor. “What did he say?”

 

Mattias shrugged, eyes roving over the quaint expanse of her room like he'd never seen them before. “Nothin’ much. Just that you were upset about something. He's the one who suggested I bring the wine.”

 

Sapphire had just earned himself a sizable reward.

 

Another sip, the burn a welcomed ache, and Vysehna wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

 

“Couldn't tell you why he picked me, of all people.” Mattias moved gracelessly, a barrel thrown up a tree, as he paced. Fingering the dressing screen and the wood paneling of the undamaged walls.

 

“Definitely wasn't your charm.”

 

Mattias snorted, and so did she. Then he dropped into her bed, which barely held, and cracked a few of his knuckles. “Glad to see your wit's still intact. Though it definitely seems like you got softer.”

 

“Softer?” Already, Vysehna was feeling the lulling warmth of the drink. The fuzziness beneath her skin was the best thing to happen since she crawled on this stupid ship.

 

Brows high, Mattias fixed her with that look. The same look that made her want to whack him over the head with the thickest volume of Ferdal history she could find. Then he waved a finger in her direction, distracted by the embroidered comforter.

 

“You know,”said Mattias , “Softer. On the insides? I used to tease you all the time and you'd just call me ‘rat-face’ and move on. Now you're all pouty.”

 

Vysehna sighed and allowed herself another sip before she set the bottle on the table. “I grew up, Mat.”

 

“You were already ‘grown up’. You were more woman than I was a man. Besides, I didn't think you got softer with age. You're supposed to get tougher, like jerky.” A toothy grin, that Vysehna only half managed to return.

 

Then Mattias ’ finger became a hand. Vysehna took it. Allowed herself to recall the familiar roughness of his skin. Settle into the bed besides him. It was a comfort, the heat of him, arm to arm and leg to leg. All of the evenings spent like this… she could remember them all. The laughs, the drinks, and coos and the murmurs. Everything had been so much simpler then. And then her stupid aunt had to come along in her hapless guilt. Try and make things better, unintentionally ripping Vysehna out of her home.

 

The palace had been better in a lot of ways. More temperate, better food, better furniture. But the people weren't there. The people she had grown up with weren't there. And Vysehna hadn't been allowed to make friends. Not a rule, of course, but there had been days where the only people she had seen were her teachers. Emissaries were groomed from a young age, she had a lot to make up for. A lot to live up to. If she didn't, then Vysehna would have been a black mark. The sort of child a parent looks at with a displeased grimace.

 

God, she would have loved to be that child. If it had meant being back on the ship, being with her friends, then she could been the black mark. Then Vysehna would think of her mother, sharp faced and hawk-eyed, with gentle hands. Her father, stern and firm, but never too firm not to read her a story when she was young. Amazing people. Proud people. If they saw her, a pirate in all but name, instead of what she had the chance to be...

 

Vysehna swallowed, cleared her throat, quickly coming to regret that she left the wine across the room. Squeezing her hand, Mattias nudged her with an elbow.

 

“What's eating you, Princess?”

 

She sniffed, and Vysehna was astounded to find her throat swollen with tear. “Don’t call me Princess,” she croaked.

 

“Can’t very well call you emissary.”

 

Vysehna sneered, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. “I don’t know why you’re so worried anyhow. I'm being foolish. It’s theatrics, it's--”

 

“Vysehna, you and I both know I've been foolish plenty of times. I think I can allow you this one time.” He nudged her in the side with his elbow. She chuffed, some of her hair falling across her face as she looked down at their clasped hands. The comfort was a beacon, solid and bright. Slowly filling her with a sort of hesitant peace. The sky after a violent storm, sun just a bright spot behind ashen clouds. She could allow herself to be foolish, for just a little while. With him, the man who had already seen so much of her.

 

So she told him of her altercation with the Captain. And regretted it immediately. In the open air, the story fell apart like a bloated corpse. “I know he’s only angry because he worries for me,”Vysehna went on. Suddenly the floor very interesting. “And I know I took it the wrong way, it just-- stung.”

 

Vysehna felt more, than saw, Mattias go stiff, the hand in hers going white-knuckled.  “Oh he’s an ass-- definitely an ass,” grumbled Mattias. Vysehna managed a laugh. He grinned back, a brief whisper of crescent across his face. Quietly, Mattias continued, “I do have to wonder why that hit you so hard, though. Somethin’ like this never would have bothered before.”

 

That wasn’t quite true, Vysehna had just been better at recognizing joke from jab back then. She wasn’t so high and mighty as to pretend that the last four years hadn’t left her with some aching parts. But to admit that it had gouged her like this, torn out the place where rage would have bloomed and replaced it with sharp loathing and distrust? That felt too much like announcing defeat. And yet Mattias looked at her again, a move she mimicked on instinct, those murky green eyes the closest thing to peace. Followed only by Sapphire, of all people. Vysehna wished she hadn’t sent him away, but there was too much that she couldn’t bare to a stranger.

 

Mattias, for all his smirks and jibes and stupid, pinch-faced grins, was a close friend. More, once. She missed him dearly. And definitely wasn’t going to mention it.

 

Speaking of. Vysehna cleared her throat. “What do they know? About us?”

 

A quirk of that brow had her teeth bared in a displeased sneer. “Nothin’ much, Princess. I assure you. Lourna knows, only because she overheard us talk the night before you left. I’m sure everyone has their ideas, but no one else has said anything.” When her shoulders loosened, Mattias snorted. “What? Don’t want the whole crew knowin’ you fucked Rat-Face?”

 

Vysehna burned a sharp red and snatched her hand away. “Please shut up,”she groaned. “The shame haunts me every day.”

 

And perhaps that was the wrong thing to say, because those brows pinched forward. Humor gone. “You regret it, then?”

 

Vysehna winced. Hurriedly, she said, “Not in the slightest! It’s just… private. Ours. However it ended, it should stay that way. They would make it something it wasn't.”

 

To her relief, Mattias nodded.

 

“I get what you mean,”he murmured, “Lourna was a witch about it, when we were alone. Until she realized it actually bit at me. And she knew it was done.”

 

Vysehna hated herself for the rush of satisfaction that chased his words. Genuinely. Was she so desperate for human connection that knowing someone missed her, enough that it hurt them, was enough to make her happy? Maybe the palace really had ruined her. Then, as if reading her thoughts, Mattias reached for her hand again.

 

“I still want to know what you got up to these past couple a’ years, Princess. Maybe I can figure out what made you so mushy,” teased this rat of a man, his voice a soft utterance.

 

“I am not _mushy_ ,”spat Vysehna. Mattias gave his hand a little wave.

 

“Whatever you say, Princess. But I wanna know all about your little venture away. Get any suitors?” The twinkle in his eye made her shove him again.

 

Vysehna glowered, her face turning a vicious red. “No, there were no suitors. And don't start looking pleased about it!”

 

Another teasing bob of his head; she responded with a vulgar gestures. But the humor had loosened something inside her, warmed the stone in her chest to a malleable putty. Maybe telling him would not mean defeat. Mattias had seen her through much worse, and no matter how much Vysehna longed to punch that stupid smirk off of his face, she had begun to feel a little bit more like herself. More than a empty pawn.

 

She had no delusions that there was to be nothing else between them. No matter how she longed for it over the many months, Vysehna knew she would have taken anything, even if it wasn’t him. The draw between them was no longer there. That, at least, didn’t ache. It felt like a once-broken bone, comfortable and set just right. Healed as well as could be. Sapphire was easy to talk to, everything golden and right, but Vysehna didn’t know him well enough just yet. Maybe one day. But for now, there was Mattias .

 

And wine. Both were lovely.

  
  
  


There was no door into the bathing room, not even a curtain. The crew were used to coming and going, brazen and bare, so there was no need for one. Vysehna had been like that once, but the years in skirts and petticoats had imbued some modesty within her. So Sapphire was placed on guard just in front of the threshold, his back to the low-lit room, with a towel in hand should he need to protect his Lady’s pride.

 

Vysehna hadn’t cared that much. Her head was muggy, getting worse with every step, all she’d wanted was to finally clean herself without having to worry about embarrassing the hell out of some hapless crew member. Sapphire, always desperate to please, had brought the towel.

 

After her discussion with Mattias, Vysehna found her head mercifully empty. Like breathing in new air, weightless and easy in her lungs.

 

Vysehna drank in the scents of the basic soaps, scrubbing the last few days’ worth of grime from her skin and hair. When she was finished, Vysehna leaned back against the edge of the tub. In the dim light, her vision swimming around its edges, she peered at Sapphire. He stood, as unmovable as any stone wall, the towel folded in two between his arms.

 

When their talk had been complete, Vysehna with the wine bottle cradled in her arms and Mattias scowling, the idea for a bath had occurred to her. Mattias had said something sly, she'd just batted him away and requested that he fetch Sapphire. Her boy had found himself with Kæder. No large surprise there. What was a surprise, though, was when Mattias had returned empty handed, to drag Vysehna out on deck. His hand clutching a fistful of table scraps, Sapphire had the full attention of a battled scared tabby cat. Even from the distance, she could hear his laugh when the cat ate from his hand. Kæder stood nearby, face split in a massive grin. A beacon of light, glowing with joy.

 

Vysehna loathed to interrupt the scene, but then Sapphire happened to glance her way. His smile didn't fade exactly but it dimmed considerably, as he left the cat with a quick head pat and darted to her side.

 

Kæder followed, her arms crossed. “Your boy's a natural with them; you should let him come out more often.”

 

It felt like a jab, but Vysehna was too busy gazing at her boy to really care. His head bowed, Sapphire was smiling shyly. It was probably one of the prettiest things she had ever been witness to.

 

He wasn't smiling now. At least, Vysehna didn't think he was.

 

“I apologize for throwing you out, earlier,”Vysehna said. His head stayed perfectly still. Not even a glance towards her, curled in the too short tub.

 

One shoulder moved, tentatively shrugging. “It’s alright, my Lady. I was out of line.”

 

She tucked a wet curl behind her ear, eyeing the few flickering candles along the wall. The lights glinted across the surface of the water, playing off the suds. “You weren't,”murmured Vysehna. “You were looking out for me, and I appreciate it. I just needed someone else for the moment.”

 

“Lord Mattias was able to assist, then?”

 

Vysehna smirked. Lord Mattias ? How sweet. There was no way she was going to tell him about it.

 

“He was. But, may I ask why you chose him? I introduced you to many.”

 

Sapphire shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his arms held tight to his body. “You… seemed at ease with him, and you smiled the most when you spoke to him.”

 

Her body stilling, Vysehna flicked her gaze back to the man perched in the threshold. Took in the loose line of his body, the gentle curves of his waist and shoulders. Then she looked back to the basin. They sat in silence for a long while, until the water had gone cold. She moved to haul herself from the tub, focused on keeping her vision in order. Reached for her clothes on the nearby bench-- and swore.

 

“Sapphire,”breathed Vysehna.

 

“My Lady?”

 

“I need that towel.”

 

In her buzzed stumble, she had forgotten everything upstairs. Instantly, Sapphire's ears turned as red as fresh apples. He turned, slow, and stared deliberately at her feet. Vysehna was distinctly aware of the rivulets of water rolling down her skin, bronze in the candlelight. The few suds that still clung to her hips. Dry swallowing, Vysehna tried to think beyond the drunken flurry. Beyond the lithe, corded muscles she had run her fingers over the night prior.

 

Had he ever seen a naked woman?

 

Sapphire stumbled over his own feet, almost falling twice before he was close enough to thrust the towel into her hands. Vysehna swallowed a laugh, even as her skin warmed beyond that of the humid room.

 

“I will run to fetch your clothes, Mistress,”Sapphire whispered. In a flash of skittering feet, he was gone. Vysehna sighed, running the towel across her skin before moving to settle on a nearby bench. It would be perverse of her to pursue him, in the wake of everything he had faced, but she couldn't deny that he was handsome. Broken, scared of his own shadow, but handsome nonetheless.

 

Vysehna thought of his cot, tucked away in the corner of Rainier’s office. Barely more than a litter for the injured, a canvas sheet sewn to a metal frame. No space for himself. Would he want to share her room, maybe even her bed? Or had his time as the King’s whore ruined that for him.

 

Sapphire returned only a few minutes later, with significantly more composure.

 

“Here, my Lady.” He presented her with his chosen outfit: a loose white shirt and simple black pants. Given the silver fluted edges of his shirts and jackets, Vysehna would have expected more pomp. But then again, she doubted Sapphire had been given autonomy over his clothing.

 

Thanking him, Vysehna stepped away to dress; Sapphire had halted so near that she would have sooner knocked his nose with an elbow than successfully pulled the shirt over her head.

 

* * *

 

 

His heart was pounding. She clearly couldn't hear it; Sapphire prayed that she couldn’t. God, he had to be as red a stage curtain. He was only just surprised his legs didn’t give out, when Vysehna requested the towel. Looking down as quickly as possible hadn’t helped, he still caught the smooth flush of her naked body out of his peripheral.

 

She was testing him. Taunting him. She had to be; no proper woman would stand  like that. Molten metal against a deep shadows of the room, her eyes blown gun metal. Vysehna had trained under the head of the kingdom, and she _had_ modesty, she wouldn't have had him stand on guard otherwise. But then why hadn’t she even bothered shield herself?

 

Fuck. The swell of her breasts was burned across his mind’s eye. It ached like a brand, deep in his gut. Sapphire thrust his hands out before him as he made his way up the stairs, beheld their trembling, and promptly stuffed them in his pockets. A glimpse, it had been barely more than a glimpse, before his eyes could find the floor. Was he so starved that that was all it took to move him along?

 

It wasn’t as if Sapphire had been forced to hold back. His releases had been withheld for entertainment, but never for more than a few nights at the worst. He wasn’t running on nine years of hormones, so why did it feel like it? Why was the memory of her hands on him the night before suddenly so much more heady?

 

The more concerning question probably should have been why Sapphire thought he would probably enjoy it.

 

All of his time with Lord Malco, Sapphire had denied the pleasures inflicted upon him. He hadn’t wanted it, and that hadn’t changed upon being sold to the king. What had changed was Sapphire allowing himself to enjoy the little things.

 

Sanyr had taught him how to read. Taught him history, put him through classes to teach him court etiquette, how to dance, play the damned flute. All under the guise of grooming him to be a steward-- which Sapphire had never truly been able to convince himself of. He had learned to relish each bit of normalcy. And when it came time to the bedroom, Sapphire learned how to allow himself that too. To separate Sanyr from those hands, pretend they belonged to someone else, or maybe just drown in the sensations.

 

This didn’t feel like that. Imagining Vysehna’s hands on him, going lower than his hips, her breath along his ear… Wrong. It was wrong, and made him a pervert, but not because his mind finally gave in. It wasn’t playing house, with smiles and facading courtships. It felt like a choice.

 

If Vysehna suddenly wanted that of him, perhaps Sapphire would not dread it so. If he had the choice, he thought he may very well enjoy it.

 

Still, his hands didn’t work quite right. He needed both of them to open Vysehna’s door, and couldn’t even someone the dexterity necessary to right the discarded wine bottle on the floor. Grabbing the first things he could find in the wardrobe, Sapphire hauled ass back down to the bathing room. Vysehna was hidden along the back wall, one leg crossed over the other, the towel slung across her shoulders. Still, it didn’t hide anything.

 

He swallowed the rising warmth in his face, as her eyes flickered open. Sapphire forced himself to look elsewhere. And it did require force, because the strain in his belly was coiling tight. She smelled lovely, beneath the cheap communal soap. Like ink, and ancient books.

 

There had been many bodies before his eyes, regardless of what dangled where, though the only ones that had ever sought his services had been men. There were eyes, always eyes, on him and every one of his ‘assets’, mostly from the nobility. But none of the palace women had ever moved to touch him. Sapphire suspected this had something to do with the rampant wandering hands among easy targets. Whatever the reason, he had no real idea of how to navigate it.

 

Now, Sapphire knew how they worked. More or less. From the chat he had received from his mother when he turned twelve. But he didn’t have any idea where the pleasure points were. That was a giant, gaping hole in his image as a proper pet, or even a proper man. It required immediate rectification. Unless Sapphire intended to leave Vysehna beyond disappointed and probably agitated. She hadn’t yet shown real interest in him like that, beyond the brazen display of flesh, but the possibility was enough to cause necessity.

 

Perhaps he would ask that Lord Mattias . He seemed like a pleasant enough man, ostentatious enough that he wouldn’t be offended by the question. And he cared for Vysehna, in ways Sapphire could only theorize (although,when it came to sexual relationships, prior or not, his theories were rarely wrong). That was the most important part, as such a man would know the right places to touch.

 

“Sapphire.”

 

He stiffened, immediately at attention. Vysehna was dressed now, even if Sapphire did suddenly know what every low and high pointed under her shirt hinted at. It didn’t make it easier to breathe.

 

“Thank you for getting Mattias -- it did help. Truly.”

 

His Lady’s smile was soft enough that Sapphire felt like a deviant for thinking of such things. He forced himself to return it. “Of course, Mistress. It’s my job to look out for you and your needs, even they are beyond me.”

 

Vysehna grinned again, brushing a damp strand of hair back along its kin. “I believe you’ve earned yourself a reward-- for showing the proper intuition and initiative. What would you like?”

 

Sapphire balked, heart stuttering. “Re-- a reward, my Lady? What do you mean?”

 

“Certainly you know what a reward means?”

 

The room was beginning to feel stuffy, too many things crowding into his head at once. Had they always been this close? Suddenly Vysehna felt so close she could knock the wind out of him with a well placed trip.

 

Of course he knew what rewards were. But his head was too full of unholy thoughts for Sapphire to say something appropriate. _You are not a child_.  

 

This was why women didn’t often take male pets.

 

_You are a grown man. Get some fucking sense and be good._

 

Vysehna was smirking like she found his blushing cute. “I was thinking, you could move your cot into my room. Or share my bed, if you’d rather that.”

 

“Wha-- what?” rasped Sapphire. His voice felt like a rasp along his esophagus. Was she serious?

 

Vysehna hurried to add, “I have no intention of using you, I promise, but I don’t think Rainier’s office is the place for you.”

 

That had been what Sapphire wanted for much of this trip. It was hard not to remember his disappointment when he’d realized he wasn’t going to be rooming with his mistress. And yet, all he could see was her body. Like a scorched image in his mind, the immature boy that never got to properly explore the world of carnal interaction was refusing to go back into hiding. As stubborn as any real teenager when faced with bare flesh.

 

 _Damn you_.

 

At last, Sapphire forced himself to breathe. To speak. To act like the properly poised pet he was supposed to be. “I-is it proper?”

 

Vysehna made a face. “Proper?” She echoed. “Perhaps not if we were an unwed couple sleeping in a church. But this is a ship in the middle of the sea, and you’re my pet. If you’d rather not Sapphire, I would understand. I’d much rather you just say it.”

 

Sapphire winced. The sharpness of her voice stilled his roiling insides. Doused the magma in his pelvis with ice water. “No-- no,”he scrambled for the words. The sense to catch the pieces before everything was ruined by his foolish, whoring body. “No, Mistress, that isn’t it, I swear.”

 

“Then what is it, exactly? If you would rather something else for your reward, that is alright Sapphire. I’m not constructing a trap here.”

 

Another breath. Another rush of ice. Fear. Shame. The need to smooth over that look of wan displeasure. Sapphire thought again of Vysehna’s naked body, the gentle haze of it when he looked low, but not as low as he should have.

 

Her ribs on display, the rivers of her collarbones sharp and distinct. A canvas of skin that was concave in wrong places.

 

Raised on a boat, as apart of the crew as Kæder and Mattias, Vysehna should have been whipcorded with muscle. She certainly moved like she had power enough to heave him over her shoulder. And as Sapphire stared at his Lady’s face, close to eye contact but respectfully lacking, he began to wonder if the sharpness of her face had anything to do with the days spent wasting away.

 

Nothing but books and tutors. Missing the thrill of the sea.

 

This felt like a choice too. A cracked door, nervous and tentative, stood before him. He’d almost missed it, in his thoughts of sinful enjoyment.

 

Who was allowed to enter? Kæder, who would yell all day, only to nurse abandoned kittens in the dark? Captain Lawrence, who cared so much that it was choked with fear? Or perhaps Mattias , who laughed like the god of thunder, trying to blast away the dark. She was offering him a place now too; Sapphire, with patchwork skin and stained insides.

 

A dark mark, but Vysehna must have wanted him. She wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise, wouldn’t have reered like a wild horse when she feared being crushed.

 

Sapphire gathered himself. He could be good-- good for her. Not just on his knees or taking off her boots. Thoughtlessly bringing her meals, letting his mistress read the same books over and over, hiding away.

 

“I would be honored to join you in your quarters, my Lady,”Sapphire said, trying to convey every bit of warmth and devotion he could muster as he moved to one knee. His pant leg was going to be wet from the sloshed water, but Sapphire couldn’t bring himself to care. “If you believe I am worthy, then it would be my joy. To join you, wherever you’d have me.”

 

Vysehna stared at him, scarcely breathing. She cleared her throat. “How… unnecessarily formal of you. Very well, if you truly wish it. You’re welcome to bring down your cot sometime today then.”

 

He cracked a smile. Trying to look sweet, lighten the mood, Sapphire peered up at his Mistress through his lashes, “If I may, my Lady, I would like to throw the cot off of the ship. Your bed would be a godsend, if you’d allow me.”

 

She… laughed. Suddenly, and beautifully. A flare through a moonless night, it lit up his world. The warmth that pulsed through him now, was a thousand times more lovely.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am still here!

 

 

 

 

His world was made of mist. Shimmering around the edges, veneered in gold and diamonds. If he pressed too hard, it would evaporate.

 

 

It wasn’t as though he’d expected Vysehna to go back on her offer. It was to clear her face of that somber haze, he’d had no thought but to make her happy. But now, with the sheets crisp and cold beneath him, the world felt like a dream. Vysehna snored to his left, a few inches between his shoulder and the knobbed curve of her spine. They had settled in an hour ago, but his heart still careened like a loose wagon. When Vysehna had announced he was too long to rest along the foot of her bed, Sapphire expected for his quilt to be handed back, and that would be that. Even sent back to his cot if Vysehna felt as such.

 

 

Definitely not this. It was as if the wall that had existed between them suddenly dropped away, and with it had gone the floor. Leaving Sapphire to scramble for a hold.

 

 

Did it mean anything? Coupled with Vysehna’s naked body earlier-- it felt like a hint. For God’s sake, she hadn’t even asked him to look away when she changed into those airy nightclothes. Granted, the dressing screen did the job, blocking out almost all the moonlight. But the candle had still been burning.

 

 

It was a game. Poker hands spread out between them. She was piquing his interest, so when she finally made her move, Sapphire wouldn’t mind. And he wouldn’t. Vysehna had a body of sculpted marble, one of the glorious goddesses of old. It would be an honor if she found him worthy, and that wasn’t the broken whore speaking.

 

 

If Vysehna saw something in him that she approved of, coveted, beyond his flesh and bone?

 

 

Well, that would be a welcomed change.

 

 

The smell of cheap soap tickled his nose, mixed with seawater, peppermint. It smelled like home. His _real_ home. Dank wood, cramped quarters on the bottom level, inches from the waterway. Too many tiny bodies, children scrambling, scuffling over toys. Squealing laughter. Clara’s rat-dog howling at the birds.

 

 

The apartment had been small. No windows, with mold in the corners and rotting wood hidden under furniture. The neighbors sent their children over if they were too young to work, for Sapphire to watch. He loved it, and hated it. So many little people, some just out of toddling, vying desperately for his attention. God, nothing could quiet them down. The extra latches on the door were the only thing that kept them from running off the dock.

 

 

He could remember, like fresh burns, the feeling of them. The Scaros’ boy on a hip. Clara thrashing like a beast as Sapphire held her by the arm, to keep her from knocking over one of the lanterns. He was old enough to join Father in the shop on the walkways above, but then there would be no one to keep the little ones from setting the floor on fire. And Sapphire didn’t want to spend his days sketching bows to people that only sneered. He’d thought he was meant for better. That one day, he would live in a glorious palace, with plenty to eat and enough clean water to bathe every day.

 

 

He’d been right, more or less. Unfortunately, it came at the cost of his body.

 

It seemed noble at the time. In some vague, disjointed way, Sapphire had felt like a hero. Lord Malco, who owned entire parts of the city, hadn’t seemed so bad at the time. Of course Sapphire had been aware that Malco was bad, but children had a way of smoothing over harsh edges.

 

 

There was so much crying that day. Mama kept begging him to change his mind. Father hadn’t said anything. In the dark of the next few weeks, Sapphire (who still secretly called himself by that name-that-was-no-longer-his) considered it a betrayal. One less mouth to feed. One less child to worry about clothing, housing. They had other offspring, better ones, to put their hopes on. Ellis already had an a apprenticeship lined up when he came of age. Younger than Sapphire, and a million times brighter. Why wouldn’t they consider him the ticket to a better life?

 

 

Sapphire knew better now. No longer did he use that boy’s name, nor did he think the man that had since stopped being his father wanted him gone. It was resignation.

 

Sapphire knew it well; it was the only way to keeping breathing when there was no air.

 

 

Did he regret it? It was something Sapphire considered so many times. In the deep of night, lying next to his master with fresh bruises on his skin and makeup still smeared under his eyes. Staring at the lipstick smudges on the sheets, where his face had left an imprint on the mattress. He'd become a prized doll. Malleable to each man’s hands. A shared receptacle that did not fight, and could not get pregnant. That played pretty and didn’t act like a whore. But what if it never happened?

 

 

They would have been evicted, tossed out like rats, and then what? Then Mama would suffer the same; Clara too. Hell, Sapphire probably would have ended up a whore either which way.

 

 

As far as he knew, Malco allowed his family stay in their tiny apartment. Maybe they finally scrapped enough together to buy a place, where no one could take a child as payment. Maybe Ellis got his apprenticeship, and Clara learned to read. Maybe the stupid dog finally learned to sit.

 

 

No, he didn’t regret it. In the face of a dead end, Sapphire had given them a bead of hope. For that, he would do it all again.

 

 

Sapphire woke to warmth. His body so, so heavy, the warmth was heavenly. As the dark began to recede, Sapphire groaned. Please, God, let him have this. Let him enjoy this before all the bullshit started. He nuzzled into that warmth, pulling it closer and drinking in the comfort. There had been so little in the recent years, couldn’t he enjoy it for a few more minutes?

 

Then a nudge to his ribs.

 

 

“As lovely as this is, Pet, I suggest you withdraw.”

 

 

Sapphire froze, the world coming into clarity in a single, heavy blow. Vysehna was wound in his arms, her back flush to his chest. Legs tangled, his arms looped around her middle. All sound left the room. Sapphire didn’t even dare to breathe. He dropped his arms and pushed himself away, limbs too slow and sluggish for his racing mind.

 

 

“I’m sorry--”he choked, and god damn him, Sapphire yawned. He tried again. “I’m-- sorry, so sorry, I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean--”

 

 

Vysehna rolled onto her back, supported on her elbows. She didn’t seem angry. In fact, she was smirking. “Didn’t know you were such a cuddle bug. You should have warned me.”

 

 

Sapphire wasn’t a cuddle bug. He despised it, usually because it followed a brutal romp around the room; Sanyr’s way of saying sorry, with cold hands and miserably sharp edges. Vysehna had been a startling difference. But it didn’t matter. Smoothing his sweat-slick hair out of the way, Sapphire gave an urgent nod. “Yes Ma’am, you’re right. I’m sorry, I would never want to offend--”

 

 

“Hush, Sapphire. You aren’t in trouble.”

 

 

His hands paused midstroke. For a second the only sound was the slamming of his heart as it pounded against the insides of his ribs.

 

 

“I’m sorry,”swallowed Sapphire. “I’m-- I’m not? But that doesn’t… I shouldn’t have touched you, it’s improper, inappropriate. I should be--”

 

 

Vysehna rolled her eyes and pushed herself upright. Her hands moved towards him, Sapphire couldn't suppress his wince when they cupped around his face.

 

 

A kiss to his forehead, soft, and warm. Against his forehead, Vysehna murmured, “I can’t decide if you’re cute or pitiful, when you panic. Don’t worry about it, yeah?”

 

 

Don’t worry about it? How could she ask him not to worry about it? This was a heavy-cane worthy offense!

 

 

Vysehna withdrew far enough to peer down at him. The dark marks under her eyes had faded somewhat, and her lips curled into a grin. She wasn’t mad, Vysehna wasn’t that good an actor, but for the life of him, Sapphire couldn’t understand why.

 

 

“Yes, my Lady,”he whispered. It didn’t matter why. Vysehna was right, it wasn’t his duty to question her motives. If she wasn’t upset with him, all the better.

 

Vysehna hummed a little laugh, her thumbs brushing over his cheeks.

 

 

“Definitely cute.”

 

 

Sapphire swallowed, ignoring the cold of the air on his face when his mistress pulled away. He tried to smile, to compose himself. This sharing a room thing was definitely going to ruin his professional image.

 

 

Clearing his throat, Sapphire forced to look away as he hedged, “You liked it, then? The uh… the cuddling?”

 

 

A snicker. Something seized in his chest, then went loose as Vysehna sighed, “Yes, Pet. I enjoyed it. I haven’t cuddled in-- God, since I left? Mattias loved being the little spoon.” She added with a wink, as though it was an invitation to tease the larger man about it. As if Lord Barrel-Body couldn't snap him in half.

 

 

“You can be the, er, ‘big spoon’, if you want Mistress. If you wanted to continue.”

 

 

Tying her hair out of her face with a loose strip of leather, Vysehna raised an eyebrow. “Do you want it to continue, Sapphire?”

 

 

He flushed. Why did everything have to be about him? Couldn’t she tell him yes or no and get on with it?

 

 

“It was… nice, my Lady,”he admitted . “My experience with cuddling has not been so pleasant. If it was all like this, I think I... I think I might.”

 

 

Vysehna’s smile was nothing short of feline. “I think that could be arranged. Assuming you keep up the good behavior?”

 

 

His face burning red hot, Sapphire bowed his head. “I will do my best, Mistress.”

 

 

Vysehna clicked her tongue in satisfaction, the bed squeaking as she rose to her feet. The white shift she wore hung flat over her curves, an unflattering tube of fabric with a seam down one side. He remembered her plucking at it the night before, remarking that it made her look like a pillow case. Sapphire had to wonder why she bothered to wear it, if she disliked it so much; maybe he should offer to do her laundry.

 

 

His mistress padded around the dressing screen on night-soft feet, the room going white with sunlight as she thrust open the curtains.

 

 

“Go fetch breakfast, would you?” yawned Vysehna. No sooner than the words left her mouth was Sapphire scrambling for his pack. He should have been moving already, should have been _awake_ already, with breakfast ready for his Lady when she woke up. Instead, he was lounging around like some useless plaything.

 

 

A pair of cotton trousers replaced the sleeping pants, but Sapphire chose to remain in his shirt for now. Socks, then shoes, and then on instinct he moved to find the cosmetics stowed in the inner pocket. Only at the last second did he abort his mission in favor of heading to the door.

 

 

His face still felt bare, even though the makeup had gone unused for a little while now. Every day without fail, Sapphire had been expected to doll himself up. Bring out the darkness in his lashes, the red of his lips. It was the worst part of his morning, assuming he woke up on his own and not by some wandering hands. It was the moment where the Man gave way to the Whore.

 

 

In truth, Sapphire had never believed himself to be a steward. He handled papers, appointments, and menial affairs, but his true purpose was always clear: cure the King of his unending loneliness. And the man was lonely. Unsurprising, considering it was his unconcious mission to alienate any relative that so much as looked at him.

 

 

He hadn’t felt nervous until actually stepping foot in the kitchen. Sapphire had actually began seeing light in the situation. They had to know by now that he hadn’t sold them out. Whatever he was before, Sapphire had to be at least considered welcome. They were not bad people. They were angry, downtrodden, and he had come in all pomp, stomping on the meager peace they had found. Their reaction was as it should have been. Hopefully now they saw him as something good.

 

 

It was busy. Bodies moved in disorganized lines, honey bees from flower to flower. Washing dishes, cooking food, chopping meats and vegetables with massive knives. He watched the latter in particular, skin beginning to crawl as the metal glinted mid strike. No one noticed him yet, which was a good thing, because it allowed him to take a breath. Steel himself. Straighten his spine and lift his chin. He just wanted breakfast. Just wanted to see a sign that there was something there for him to grasp for. He wasn’t afraid of them.

 

 

But oh, he was. Already, his body was slick with sweat. Down his temples, his palms. Had been from the moment he started down the hall. The world hummed around the edges, a mirage and a nightmare ready to burst.

 

 

They could hurt him, if they wanted to. One bad step, one wrong word, there were so many potential weapons in this room. If it had occurred to him at the time, Sapphire would have begged to avoid this, as the nerves began setting in. He couldn’t imagine they felt any sort of gratitude; they were tight knit, and he was nothing. Anything Sapphire did would either be considered bad, or not considered at all.

 

 

Then the good thing vanished. The floor groaned like some wounded beast. Sapphire swore, as everyone’s mouth snapped shut. His insides turned fluid, chest winding so tight he thought it might turn inside out. Every eye in the room, riveted on him.

 

 

Fuck, fuck, he couldn’t do this. Not with so many of them, staring, like they expected him to lick the floors. The edges of his vision began to tremble, jackrabbiting in time with his heart. He shouldn’t have come. A fresh bucket a sweat slid down his back, stinging like tiny little needles. He'd rather the heavy cane than this.

 

 

Someone moved, started to say something-- Sapphire couldn't even begin to guess at who. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered, because the world was going back.

 

 

I have to get out

 

 

Jolting back to life, Sapphire threw himself back out the doors. Pain lanced along his shoulders, but fuck, Sapphire didn’t care. He was gone. A plate knocked off a table by uncoordinated knees, someone cursing-- he ran. Like a horse lit on fire, Sapphire ran. He would beg, he would offer whatever he had, he just had to get out. Before one of them could decide he was too snide, to uppity, to loud or pompous or-- or whatever else they might not like.

 

 

Because they would hurt him. As sure as the sun would cross the sky, Sapphire knew it in his bones. They didn’t like him, no one liked him.

 

 

Down the corridor he ran, feet barely hitting the ground.

 

 

“Don’t be mad!” He blurted , the doorknob barely turned as Sapphire flew in. Why was he so cold? “I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry, I couldn’t do it, please don’t be mad.”

 

 

Falling to his knees, Sapphire crumbled. His fingers found Vysehna’s shirt, scrambling blind in a dark haze, God how he held on tight. His mistress had him by the wrists, her eyes wide.

 

 

“What happened?”she demanded, damn him if her voice didn’t fill him with peace. Vysehna would never be dripping with kindness or delicacy, but she was home. For the next few months, she was Sapphire’s home. She could hit him, yell at him, touch him and share him all she liked but she was his home. The only safe place for a whore.

 

 

“Sapphire, you need to tell me what happened.” Her hands were on his face then, soft and gentle. Feeling for the wounds. “Did somebody hurt you?”

 

 

Sapphire shook his head, voice hoarse and wispy as he croaked, “No Ma’am. Just\-- I just went into the kitchen and-- and got scared. I’m sorry.” Vysehna sighed in what might have been relief as she looped an arm around his waist, pulling him in close.

 

 

“I’m sorry.” Her face nestled against his temple, “I thought you would talk to one of the servers, I’m sorry Sapphire. Here--” He was heaved up right, marched backwards to the bed. “You settle down, I’ll get breakfast.”

 

 

And thirty minutes later, Sapphire was left felling like a fool. Tucked under the sheets on the edge of the bed with a cup of tea clutched between his hands, Sapphire grit his teeth. His hands were still trembling. Try as he might, he couldn’t quiet the chill that had taken over his body. Vysehna had drawn up a chair by then, plate balanced on a thigh. She ate only a few bites every couple of minutes.

 

 

Sapphire couldn’t bring himself to eat much. His stomach was still in tangles. Vysehna had summoned a servant to bring breakfast, which she caught outside the door, in case Sapphire was still raw she said. His Lady has ordered him a plate of eggs, potatoes, and sweet peppers. While it all tasted lovely, each bite only added to the roiling nausea that coursed through him. The tea helped, marginally. But his chest ached. It was all too bright. Too loud.

 

 

“Pet, I need you to take one more bite, please?”

 

 

His eyes flicked to Vysehna, who was looking at him with such soft eyes. He didn’t think he had ever seen her like this. It reminded him of Kæder, and her cats. Back down on his plate, Sapphire pushed around the food with his fork until he could muster the strength to nibble on a piece of bacon. Then his Lady obligingly took the plate out of his hands.

 

 

“Good boy.”

 

 

He didn’t want to acknowledge the warmth that spread through him. Recalling the minutes he’d spent unhinged, clinging to her with everything he had, filled him with sewer water. It wasn’t his feelings that Sapphire was so wrought over, but the fact that he let them get in the way. Let them overtake him, like a tsunami crushing a city. He had stopped giving a shit whether his body reacted to her. That had been left, along with his pride, on the kitchen floor. His feelings were his feelings. If they were wrong, they were wrong; so be it. But to lose control so thoroughly-- it was dangerous. Maddeningly dangerous. If it had been anyone else, anyone but his kind, generous mistress…

 

 

If he had come flying at Sanyr, face wet and mind numb, he would have been smacked back to sense. If it had been Malco, he wouldn’t have been left with sense to come back to.

 

 

“How are you feeling?” Vysehna asked. Swallowing, Sapphire sucked in a deep breath. He was fine, he wanted to say. Fine, alright, just startled. Abruptly, Vysehna’s hands closed around his again. His head snapped down, and Sapphire was horrified to see that he had spilled tea on the covers. Shit--

 

 

Vysehna dismissed it with a shake of her head. “It’s okay, Pet. It’s just a spot. Take another sip.”

 

 

Sapphire obeyed on instinct. Again that happy warmth. He basked in it, reveled in it. Let himself love it.

 

 

“You like that, hm? When I call you Pet?” All he could muster was a nod, and took another sip of the tea. It was room temperature by now, but the flavor was still nice. It wasn’t just the word, that Sapphire enjoyed. Sanyr had called him Pet all the time; it was his favored nickname. But the way Vysehna said it, without that gross judgment and with so much affection, Sapphire thought he might want it carved on his tombstone.

 

 

A soft chuckle, like rolling waves. If he could hear that sound for the rest of his life, it would make up for everything.

 

 

“Can you answer my question, Pet?”

 

 

He blinked, bleary eyed, and swallowed the dryness in his throat. “Yea-- yes Ma’am. I…” Sapphire sought an answer, but the words felt too heavy in his mouth. “Fine, Mistress,” he managed at last. “I am… I am fine.”

 

 

When his hands began to shiver again, Vysehna took his tea and set it on her desk next to his abandoned plate. Sapphire whispered a thanks, tugging the covers closer around his shoulders.

 

 

Vysehna turned to him, that gentle smile back in its rightful place, and breathed, “I think you should lie down, Sapphire. Get some rest.”

 

 

He blinked at her, not comprehending, and seeking the clock for the time. It hadn’t even been an hour yet. But Sapphire would be lying if he said his bones didn’t feel leaden, and the whole ordeal had left him with a pulsing headache.

 

 

“If you would allow me to, Ma’am, I would be very grateful,”he murmured. Already, his eyelids were sagging, as if the mere suggestion of sleep had reminded his body of what it needed. Vysehna hadn’t responded, she just arranged him flat on the bed and with covers drawn up to his chin.

 

 

“Sleep well, Pet.”

 

 

Sapphire smiled, and turned eagerly into the kiss his Lady placed on his cheek. “Thank you Ma’am,”he mumbled, “Could you close the window, please?”

 

 

“... of course.”

* * *

 

 

 

 

Sapphire was whiter than the sheets, sunlight catching on the sweat beaded across his face. He'd seemed hot that morning, when she had kissed him. but Vysehna thought it only a hot night. He certainly had been sweaty enough for that.

 

 

Now, she paced. Sapphire stirred on occasion, long enough for Vysehna to coax him into a mouthful of tea, and to whine that he was sorry about being lazy. He wasn't coherent enough to process the information.

 

 

"It's the boat,"Kæder was saying, as she helped Vysehna fold back the dressing screen.  The window hadn't actually been open when Sapphire had slurred something about wanting it shut, but now it was thrown wide. Get her boy some air.

 

 

"He's been sailing before,"Vysehna argued, as she placed a chilled towel along Sapphire's forehead.

 

 

"Doesn't matter. Each place has new people, each batch of new people has its own toxins and illnesses hiding away. He just caught a bit of it."

 

 

"He's going to be terrified."

 

 

"Then it's a good thing he's out cold."

 

 

And when he wasn't, they were going to have to keep him quarantined. Even if this was from the Gaelyn's secret trove, it would spread like wildfire given the chance.

 

 

Vysehna paused her steps, arms wrapped around her middle. "But he'll be alright, won't he? It's only the fever so far."

 

 

Kæder's shrug was not comforting. "He is strong, so I would say yes. People get sick often."

 

 

"People get sick and die, often."

 

 

Kæder tsked, the short curve of her hair haloed by sunlight. "Be careful with your worry; it can kill him as quick as any disease."

 

 

It was the speed of the fever that concerned Vysehna the most. It wasn't infection, at least not from his stripes. The salve would have taken care of any open sores. But one minute he had been fine, and the next Sapphire had been gone. She tried not to think of his drunken smiles when she called him 'pet'. As if he was a cat getting his chin scratched.

 

 

Vysehna ran a cool rag over his forehead and cheeks, willing the color to return to his face. As if by strength of character alone, she could fix this.

 

 

"Oh Sapphire, you unlucky boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally just going to end it with Sapphire's part, but I thought Vysehna deserved a little bit of page time, so I hope it added and not hindered. Thank you so much to everyone who reads and comments, I know I don't respond often, but I'm definitely going to start making an effort. You guys are wonderful! (I'm also looking for recommendations for Sapphire's original name... I'm struggling to come up with one that fits as well as his alias)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Bit of a bridging chapter this time, but the next will be tomorrow! (Although they're both unedited as I really wanted to get these out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ Don't mind me, being awful at coming up with names for things.

Sapphire's fever didn't break. If anything, he got worse.

 

Over the course of the next few days, his pallor went from white to gray. Vysehna rarely left her chair at his side, hand on Sapphire's chest to make sure he kept breathing. The sheen of sweat along his forehead made his skin look waxen. Dead.

 

His eyes blinked open late in the evening, murky, fever bight. Vysehna watched them flick around the room, taking in darkness of the bedroom. Then finally settle on her.

 

“My Lady,”he grunted, startled, pushing himself upright. “I am--”

 

“Sorry for lazing around, I know,”sighed Vysehna, as she helped proper him against the headboard. It was the same thing every time Sapphire woke coherent enough to speak. At Vysehna’s coaxing, he managed a few sips of tea before lying back down.

 

It was the only thing he could keep in his stomach, everything else just seemed to run back out a couple minutes later.

 

With a sigh, Vysehna sunk back down in the chair, staring at Sapphire’s hands. Seeking the pink of his fingernails. The blue veins, stark and pronounced against the spate white skin.

 

Despite Sapphire’s mooney complexion, the tip of his nose was still pink, and his hands showed no signs of changing.

 

“How long?” His voice rasped like two stones grinding together, so different from the melodic hum Vysehna was used to.

 

“It's only been a few hours since you last woke,”she responded, peering at the clock leaned against the dresser. Moved upon Sapphire's request so he could better track the hours. “... but it's coming on five days.”

 

Sapphire blew out a long breath. He attempted to bring his hands to his hair, but only managed to bring them halfway to his chest.

 

“I've got it,”whispered Vysehna. She smoothed the hair back from Sapphire's face, tucking it behind his ears.

 

Sapphire eyed her gratefully, the irises shuttering like leaves. She still wasn't used to the eye contact; Sapphire had almost entirely forgotten decorum in his wrecked state. Vysehna didn't mind.

 

Sapphire's eyes danced away. “You shouldn't be so close to me, my Lady. If it's the Silver Fever, you could get it from breathing the same air.”

 

Vysehna grit her teeth. She blamed the Captain for this. Rainier had suggested the Silver Fever two night ago. It would explain Sapphire's pallor, and the sudden appearance of his symptoms. Highly contagious, the only confirmation they could get while Sapphire was still alive would be a loss of pigmentation in the blood.

 

“You dont have the Silver Fever. I've been here the whole time, Sapphire. If I was going to get sick, I would have already.”

 

“But the fever--”

 

“It's _not_ the Silver Fever.”

 

Sapphire licked his chapped lips, staring at the wood grain on the walls. The Silver Fever was the most deadly disease of the era; why was he so willing to believe he was going to die?

 

Vysehna couldn’t deny the symptoms, she wasn’t stupid. But until Sapphire was seizing on yellow blood, she wasn’t going to believe it. Even if Sapphire clearly had already fallen victim to the nerves.

 

Vysehna swallowed, resting her hands on Sapphire’s chest. “There are dozens upon dozens of diseases in the world, Sapphire. The Silver Fever hasn’t cropped up in years; it’s unlikely that you have it.”

 

“But it is possible,”he mumbled.

 

“It’s also possible to spontaneously combust. You’ll be fine.”

 

Sapphire flexed his hand, the muscles of his arm flexing as he tried to move. She took his hand in hers, held it tight. Sapphire squeezed as hard as he could manage, his skin trembling where it met hers.

 

For a moment, the quiet sat between them. Gulls cried outside the open window, shadows dancing across the far wall. Sapphire’s eyes tracked each one, the wet line of his brow creasing with effort.

 

“How did you meet Lord Mattias?”asked Sapphire, when no more shadows appeared. He must be bored out of his mind if he was willing to prod.

 

Vysehna looped one leg over the other, leaning back. “Kaeder found him during one of her trips to her homeland. Offered him a place on the Gaelyn. We ended up working in tandem; he had a penchant for antidotes.”

 

“Antidotes?”Sapphire echoed, “For… poisons? Did you make poisons?”

 

She sighed. “Indeed. I was never one to go blade to blade; I always preferred fighting dirty,”Vysehna added with a little smirk.

 

Sapphire snorted, “Were you any good?”

 

“It’s probably one of the only things I ever excelled in,”admitted Vysehna as she glanced around the room. Rainier had probably let her kit rot in storage; she would have to look for it when Sapphire got better.

 

If he got better.

 

“I think you excel at being my mistress,”Sapphire said. Something in her chest seized. Spasmed. Vysehna looked back to her pet, but he was staring at the door.

 

No one came to visit him, besides her. Once the rumor that he had the Silver Fever, not even Mattias dared to do more than meet Vysehna at the end of the corridor. Vysehna swallowed,

 

“What can I do, Sapphire? To make you comfortable while you’re stuck here.”

   

  


The cat's name was Dog.

 

Sapphire had been hesitant, but he eventually murmured about Dog, his eyes fluttering like dark butterfly wings, and how he would love it if Dog was allowed in the bedroom. Vysehna was  dumbfounded. To her knowledge, there weren't any dogs on the ship, and she couldn't ask for clarification because Sapphire and promptly fallen asleep.

 

Kaeder had known immediately who Dog was. The angry-faced yellow tabby Sapphire had managed to befriend. Then came the mission of locating this notoriously tricky Dog. The scratches on her arms throbbed at the memory.

 

“I have need of you, you wretched little beast,”Vysehna had snarled. On her belly, one hand holding the cat by the scruff while the other took the brunt of his claws. Hissing and yowling, the thing writhed, bit, and drew blood.

 

Needless to say, they were not friends.

 

Vysehna had been two steps from throwing the cat in a pillowcase and carrying it upstairs like a live cobra, when she had given the thing a jiggle.

 

“For God's sake, hiss all you want, but you’re coming with me! Sapphire asks for so fucking little, I’m going to deliver!”

 

At her boy's name, Dog had paused his evil tirade of destruction, going unnaturally still on her arms. Innocently tilting his head as if she wasn’t dripping red on the floor. Vysehna didn't believe cats could speak the Trade language, but perhaps they could recognize simple words. Or maybe Dog was a demon and was competent as she was. Vysehna didn’t care. If it got the beast to keep his claws in place, he could sing every language on the Middle Continent.

 

“Yeah,”she growled, Dog pliant in her arms, “We're going to go see Sapphire. So you can help him feel better.”

 

They still weren’t friends. Vysehna wasn't against the notion of tossing the cat back down the stairs to hell where he belonged, but watching the rough-bodied little thing scamper across the ground towards his human friend was sweet.

 

The sensation was cut short when Dog sprung onto her desk. He sniffed at Sapphire's cup of tea, and immediately knocked it off the table.

 

* * *

 

  


The ocean churned, a deep slate gray. Vysehna watched fat waves crash and recede against the Gaelyn's hull. There were no birds, the sun no more than a pale white orb in the sky. Every inch weighed like stone. One wrong step, and she would sink, leaden, through the floor.

 

Dog was curled up on Sapphire’s chest, paws flexing and tail swinging. Sometimes he yowled, batted her boy’s face until he stirred. He purred so easily when Sapphire pet him. Standing nearby, always nearby, Vysehna watched Sapphire’s eyes open. Close. Wince, go narrow. She’d position herself in front of the sun, and he’d smile at the mangy animal.

 

“Hello,”he whispered every time without fail, greeting some old friend, as he struggled to scratch Dog’s chin. Then Sapphire would slip back asleep, with his cat purring on his chest.

 

Sometimes Dog could yowl all he wanted, and Sapphire wouldn’t stir.

 

The sickness was wrecking havoc on his body. Sapphire had been slight to begin with, but now he was gaunt. Ashen and cold to the touch. Vysehna checked his finger nails on the hour.

 

Not much was known about the chemistry of the Silver Fever. The last outbreak had been nearly a decade ago, and no advances had been made in the time since. What everyone knew however, was that the Silver Fever spread like wildfire during the arid season. Only the mousy haired serving girl came down the corridor now, delivering meals or tea.

 

“I had the Fever when I was a babe,”the girl had explained, when Vysehna opened the door to see whoever had braved the hall. “An’ no one’s ever caught it twice, so they made me delivery girl.”

 

The tray dropped to the table with a sharp clang, spilling a little on Sapphire’s tea. Vysehna only sighed as she sniffed at the secondary cup, which she assumed was meant for her.

“Wine?” she guessed, and grimaced. “I didn’t ask for wine.”

 

The girl shrugged. “You didn’t order any of it, yeah? Anyways, Jodie said you’d need it.”

 

Fair point. The glass was empty within a few sips, and the serving girl promised to just bring the bottle next time. The meals offered consisted of a full platter for herself, and a brothy soup for Sapphire. Similar red flakes had been haphazardly stirred in among the stock, the same herbs that left Sapphire with stained teeth. Vysehna knew nothing of medicine, but when he’d still had the balls to visit Mattias had called it Caer, or Caersy, something like that. A remedy for aching joints.

 

Sapphire had spent nearly a week in bed, he had to be in a fair amount of discomfort. Beyond what any fever would bring.

 

Tresser, as she asked to be called, had stared at Sapphire for a moment. Wringing her hands in her apron, shuffling her feet. Vysehna wondered if she was thinking of whomever had left her boy with that bruise.

 

“Do you think it’s the Fever?”Tresser asked at length. Standing besides her, Vysehna could only shrug.

 

“He’s still got red in him, so maybe not.”

 

“But do you think it is?” the girl persisted. Something in her flickered, flint against steel, irritation at being pestered by this child who knew nothing of manners. But nothing sparked.

Vysehna didn’t want to answer, because she didn’t want to lie. She didn’t want to lie and pretend that this was an ordinary illness. She wasn’t going to pretend Sapphire hadn’t woken up shrieking, sobbing in a drunken haze, because night terrors were a key symptom to the Silver Fever. She didn’t want to say it out loud because then it might become real.

 

“I know what the Fever looks like,” Vysehna at length. “I would be a fool to deny its possibility.”

 

“It doesn’t usually last this long. He should be dead by now.”

 

That got a spark. Gritting her teeth, Vysehna resisted a scowl. “I think Sapphire is stronger than anyone has ever given him credit for.”

 

Tresser looked down at her feet. She was tiny, Vysehna realized. Lithe and no taller than half the window. How old was she, exactly?

 

“Did he ever tell you who whacked him? We all heard about it.”

 

Back going stiff, Vysehna took a deep breath and said, “No. In fact, he lied to me about it.” Out of the corner of her eyes, Vysehna caught the wince. Damn her, if it didn’t fill her with a sick sense of satisfaction. “Told me he got hit with a door, and wasn’t able to see who did it. Even after his punishment.”

 

“You… punished him?” the girl gaped. Her hands curled into fists, Vysehna nodded.

 

“Yes. He refused to breathe a word about it. But whatever happened left a mark deep enough that he apparently can’t even face you lot.”

 

“The day he got sick,”Tresser murmured, looking nauseous herself. “He walked into the kitchen, looked like he was gonna piss himself. He ran out like hell.”

 

“I wonder why.”

 

That was when Tresser took her leave.

 

That was several days ago. As assured, the serving girl returned three times a day with meals for both of them, and wine more often than juice. An extra bowl of scraps for Dog, who came close to being thrown from the window every day, and an old pot of shredded fabric for him to do his business in. Of course, he favored the rug.

 

Vysehna ate less than Sapphire did. He usually woke several times a day, disoriented and incoherent, but whatever servant’s instinct he had ground into him were enough to make him drink on command. But Vysehna couldn’t stand to stomach anything more than a few peppers at a time. Sometimes the room smelled like death, like citrus perfume and ancient, decaying books.

 

She remembered the Fever, even ten years later. The nausea, like an arrow to the stomach. The chill of the room, as if the whole world had frozen over. A child as she was, Vysehna had demanded every blanket on the estate. She didn’t get them, because her parents were just as demanding. The illness had come and gone from Vysehna’s small body within a few day, caught and killed as was common with most children that contacting the Silver Fever.

 

No one who survived it once caught it twice, so Vysehna had had the privilege of being in the room with her mother and father when they ended up not as lucky.

 

The worst part of the illness had been the nightmares, mixed with the fog that stretched the mind to its limits. You couldn’t tell if you were awake and alive, or dead and pacing the road to Hell. The worst part of surviving it had been watching her mother’s body finally go loose. She couldn’t imagine facing it again.

 

But as Sapphire came upon two weeks, Vysehna knew it would be doing him a disservice to leave him alone with nothing but the cat. He had spent so much of his life abandoned and scared. Starved, beaten, and raw. No family, no friends, just men that demanded everything he had to give.

 

Things hadn’t been much better when he finally fell into Vysehna’s arms. Cruel like Malco and cold like Sanyr, Sapphire must have been miserable these last few weeks. So she could do him this one thing, couldn’t she? He didn’t deserve to die alone.

 

She read to him often. Sapphire was practically comatose, but Vysehna remembered the hours of being too heavy to even open her eyes. Conscious, but numbed to the world. More often than not it was from her old journal, which Tresser had delivered on behalf of Mattias. It wasn’t anything juicy or gossip from her younger years, but the formulas and known facts of many poisons she dabbled in.

 

Of course, there were notes scribbled in the margins. She and Mattias swapped books often, to assist one another and write silly messages.

 

“...known to cause pustules across the body, mimicking certain strains of the Auronic Plague in low doses. In high doses, death is almost immediate… the name is scribbled out. It must have been similar to something vulgar, because Mattias wrote 'sounds like cock' and drew a winking face.”

 

A small sound broke her concentration. Vysehna glanced up, expecting Sapphire to be blinking at her with his bleary eyes. But it was only Dog, looking at her with his round eyes and rumbling. She sighed, going to read the next entry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I'm still looking for suggestions for Sapphire's true name, if anyone has any they think would work!
> 
> (it's a struggle)


	12. Chapter 12

“He should be dead already,”grunted Rainier, voice muffled by the damp cloth wrapped around his mouth. The black leather of his gloves seemed even starker against Sapphire’s feverish skin, as the Captain poked and prodded. He pulled Sapphire’s eye open, and shook his head. “Pupils are barely responsive. This isn’t good; if he was going to pull through, he would have already.”

 

Vysehna bristled. At her feet, cast aside by the Captain, Dog huffed. “If it was the Fever, he would have _died_ already.”

 

The Captain let out a rush of breath. “You know none of us want this, Vysehna. But this isn’t any way to live. It’s been too long, we need to consider--”

 

She snarled, throwing out a hand. “I don’t want to hear it. You said he’s responsive, would that be the case if he was on the way out?”

 

Wiping his forehead on the back of his arm, the Captain sighed. “If he’s even the slightest bit conscious, he’s got to be in a lot of pain. You remember it, don’t you? When was the last time he was awake?”

 

Vysehna didn’t answer.

 

This was bullshit. Sapphire wasn’t a lamed horse. He could bounce back, he could survive this. He just needed more time.

 

“If he was the slightest bit conscious,”Vysehna bit out, “do you think he would appreciate us discussing his death?”

 

The Captain looked at her, eyes liquid. Sometimes Vysehna forgot that he was soft, on the inside. That he had married a man who raised puppies. That he thought of everyone on the ship as his kin, even the serving staff. Had he grown to care for this boy as well? It didn’t matter, not when he was so readily pressing for Sapphire’s euthenasia. She wouldn’t think of Sapphire’s ribs, the last time she’d had to bathe him. How easy it was to pull him off of the bed. Those dark circles under his eyes. The way he mewled in his sleep, like the cat when he was kicked out for pissing on the floor.

 

Would it be merciful? A quick death. It could be done, she knew how. A bit of Jurde dripped down his throat, it would stop his heart in seconds. They had to have it somewhere on the ship. But what if he was still alive in there? Unable to speak, unable to move his limbs, unable to beg for his life. Not for the first time, Vysehna regretted being so distant. If they had shared a few more words, had a few more morning where they woke wound together, maybe she would know what Sapphire would have prefferred.

 

He didn’t seem like the kind to wait and suffer, when he had already suffered through hell. Nor had he ever seemed willing to give up.

 

“He’s not displaying all of the symptoms,”Vysehna murmured. “He deserves a happy life; he doesn’t deserve to die to some fucking disease.”

 

“Very few who die actually deserve it.”

 

Dog sprung up onto the bed, his tail drooped low. He chose not to settle on Sapphire’s chest, as if he thought his weight might be enough to halt his breathing. Instead, he settled along his side. A long tube of fluff and scars, purring.

 

“Dog still seems to believe in him,”she breathed, absentmindedly running her hand down the cat’s spine. They still weren’t friends, but Vysehna knew cats could get just as lonely as humans. She certainly sensed the absence in the room.

 

“This isn’t good for either of you. You look even worse than he does. You need some sunlight, some fresh air and---”

 

“I’m not leaving until he’s gone.”

 

Behind the cloth mask, Vysehna saw Rainier scowl. Fine, let him be mad. Let him be miserable. He was so willing to let Sapphire die, then he could be patient. He could--

 

The cat yowled, a wicked siren, over and over. He was up, pacing, tail fat and thrashing.

 

“He misses his person,”Vysehna swallowed. Things were going to be so much worse if Rainier got his way. He simply turned away, eyes heavy lidded as he reached for the door.

 

A twitch caught her eye. His hands clenched, his toes flexing beneath the blanket, and suddenly Sapphire was spasming. The whole bed shook. His body bowed, collapsed, bowed and collapsed. His arms snapped ridged, flailing, the tea cup flung away, spilling across her desk. His mouth wide and gaping, gasping, frothing--

 

The Captain swore. He grabbed her by the arm and yanked Vysehna away. A stray limb struck Dog, sent him skittering across the floor.

 

No, fuck, oh _no._

 

Then Sapphire went limp. The sheets shed like skin, tangled in his legs. They were drenched with sweat. The Captain surged forward, gloved hands on Sapphire’s neck, checking his eyes, opening his mouth. Vysehna could only stare, hands clasped over her mouth.

 

“He’s started seizing,”the Captain whispered. He stepped away. Fuck, his hands were trembling. “He bit his tongue, but he’s alive. His pulse’s thready, i think the next one’s going to kill him.”

 

Vysehna’s stomach sunk to the floor. “But-- but his fingernails-- his blood--”

 

“Your mother had rose red blood when she died. It doesn’t affect everyone the same.”

 

“But this is his _first_ \--”

 

He looked at her, really looked at her. Not the Captain, not Rainier, but _Lawrence_ looked at her and slowly shook his head. She was going to throw up. On the piss-stained rug, she was going to vomit. Lawrence was across the floor in an instant, taking her in his arms and squeezing tight. Vysehna felt her face go heavy with tears, felt the world start to slip away. She clutched at Lawrence’s jacket with one hand, dug bloody half moons into her other.

 

“I’m going to talk to Kaeder,”he murmured. “She’s bound to have something, with all the animals she looks after.”

 

It was suddenly got a whole lot harder to see. “Can I… can you give me a few minutes before you come back? To just--”

 

“Consider it done.” He pulled away, wiped away her tears, and kissed her forehead. “Do whatever you have to do.”

 

Then the Captain was gone. Like a cord being cut, a life being severed, the door closed. Vysehna scrubbed at her face, blinked her eyes and swallowed hard. Dog was still huddled under the chair, watching her with his murky green eyes. She looked away.

 

It was easier to go to her desk than the bed. At her desk, she could fiddled with the leather strap binding her book closed. Run her finger through the spilled tea. Out of curiosity, Vysehna licked the pad of her thumb, and gagged. It was bitter as hell, wasn’t there any sugar in it? They must have put so much medicine in this cup that it didn’t even matter. So much for giving Sapphire a peaceful fucking end; he’d been forced to drink this disgusting mess the whole time, and didn’t even have the presence of mind to complain.

 

Vysehna helplessly shook her head as she drew a handkerchief from one of the desk drawers and swept up the mess. The red stained the white immediately, fractal webs of pink through white cotton. It was probably more expensive than most of the shit in the room, but it was just fabric. Stupid, bullshit fabric. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, not when Sapphire lied waxen at her side. Waiting for his execution.

 

She stared down at the kerchief in her grip and-- paused. The light caught one of the flecks, and Vysehna saw that it wasn’t a fleck. Delicately, Vysehna used her nails to pick it up. Light pink, it’s color leeched for the tea, and against the sun she could see it’s bluish veins.

Caersi was a mineral, found in rocks along the seabeds in the South. This was not a mineral, it was a piece of a petal. More than that, Vysehna _knew_ what it was. She had used it on occasion, when she still played with toxins as a past time. There was only one flower that looked like this. It only grew in the West. _Sákran Loufin_.

 

Heart in her throat, Vysehna surged for her book. She tore it open, and went to the back. To her Preferred pages. Her finger, dragging red water down the page. Her scrawl had been terrible. It had taken a year from the most brutal calligraphy teacher in the kingdom to fix it. Vysehna had hated, but now she wanted to strangle her younger self. God bless Mattias for being able to read it.

 

_Where, where, where_

 

Every muscle in her body locked up. There were no words in her head. Because there it was, in her own chicken scratch.

 

_Sákran Louken; literally translates to Flesh Flower. Named for it’s coloring after being brewed, it is of origins unknown but there has been note of it as far back as the Third Era._

_What is known is that it was favored by assassins and cruel pranksters alike as in low doses over an extended period of time, it mimics what we now know as the Silver Fever:_

 

_Fever, reduction in pallor, and seizures are the most common symptoms, but night terrors, vomiting, and comatose have been noted as well._

 

The world tipped, went white hot. Vysehna thought of Sapphire’s stained teeth, the little grimaces whenever he was conscious enough to sip the tea on his own. The soup. Dog knocking the cup on the ground.

 

Jolted back to life, Vysehna snatched up the handkerchief.

 

“I don’t care what you think,”she rasped on her way to the door, a finger jabbed in the cat’s direction. “You and I are fucking _best friends_.”

 

Then Vysehna ran. Flew down the hall as fast as her legs could take her. Into the open air of the deck. To Mattias.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof it's short. When I rewrite this whole thing, I'm going to try and draw this out. But I'm impatient, so have a 'quick' 'resolution'.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I've gotten worse at writing as I've gone through the story lmao

 

 

 

 

Everything hurt.

 

As the darkness drizzeled away, Sapphire became aware of a sensation be could only describe as an internal fire. His chest pulsed with it, his legs numbed with agony. Muscles taut, frozen and aching. It was like clawing his way out of paralysis.

 

First, only his toes worked. Next came his fingers, and his shoulders. Then he slowly opened his eyes. There was black, wisping fog, it was agony to try and focus. The ceiling.... it was made of wood? Close enough that, if he were able to stand, he could touch it with ease. Where was he?

 

Sapphire slowly grew more alert, blinking against the shrouding smog. He couldn’t see much, couldnt turn his head, but he could definitely hear someone. Breathing. Someones, because they were talking. And rumbling-- purring? A strip of warmth against his frigid skin.

 

Someone shifted, closed a book. The clock ticked close by; tic toc, tic toc. Who moved it?

 

Resisting the urge to swallow against the bitter taste in his mouth and groan, Sapphire forced his eyes to shut. Where was his master? His Highness never left him alone with the medics if he could help it. Was it a party? Splayed out on the mattress, Sapphire thought he might have been on display. Things were far too fuzzy to mean anything good.

 

A ship. He’d been on a ship, hadn’t he? His Highness had grown tired of him, cast him aside, and gifted him to his niece. Lady Vysehna of Aolwyn. Beautiful. The wind stolen from his lungs when he’d finally  been allowed  to see her. Beautiful, and terrifying. Her eyes, gray like ash and storm clouds, roiling in displeasure. He knew she didn’t want him, but nonetheless had taken him in. That was worth all the loyalty Sapphire had to give. Because otherwise he may very well get shipped back to Lord Malco.

 

Then he became aware of the wind tickling his face. Rocking of the ship beneath him, the fur of a cat, flicking tail. Sapphire sucked in a breath, opened his eyes, and hissed.

 

Someone swore-- Vysehna?-- and as she appeared Sapphire thought he might cry.

 

He was here, in her bed, with Dog cuddling close and his mistress looking at him as if he were a fallen star.

 

“My boy,”Vysehna breathed, touching his face like he might fade away. She sounded far away. Her eyes were heavy, the shadows beneath midnight dark. When did she sleep last? Why did she look so… wan?

 

Sapphire tried to speak, finding his tongue fat and dry. That taste-- God it was awful. Eyes slipping shut, Sapphire was only too happy to drink from the waterskin pressed to his lips. The cold water soothed his abraded throat within a few sips, and yet all Sapphire wanted was more. Then he coughed, spilling a mouthful across the sheets.

 

The waterskin vanished, as someone choked on a laugh. “Don’t drown the boy, you only  just  got him back!” 

 

“Everybody out.”

 

Rough, and cold, Vysehna's voice cut through him.

 

How long was he asleep? Sapphire remembered going to retrieve breakfast, but it seemed like lifetimes ago. Had he asked to the clock brought over? He must have, no one else on the ship would have asked for such a thing. He doubted Vysehna did it for fun.

 

She came back then, taking his hand in hers.

 

“Your body’s been through a lot, give it time to rest,” Vysehna murmured. The mattress dipped as she settled in, Dog giving a chuff of displeasure.

 

It was easier to open his eyes this time, to turn his head and drink in the sight of his Lady. Even if she didn’t look quite as beautiful this time around.

 

No, that wasn’t true. She was still lovely, but unwashed. Tired. Gaunt.

 

“Epimo nasas di thiso,” murmured Sapphire, then started as his mistress snorted.

 

She brushed some of his hair out of his eyes. “I do like when you speak in your mother tongue. If only I knew what you were saying.”

 

Swallowing, Sapphire thumbed the space between his eyebrows. “‘m sorry. This is… my head’s... messed up. What happened?”

 

“You’ve been ill for  nearly  a month,” Vysehna said, bringing his hand to her cheek. Sapphire frowned. That didn't seem right. He had been sleeping for awhile, but it couldn’t have been more than a few hours. Right? Right. Even if time felt like a thick jelly. Even if his body ached with a thousand years of immobility.

 

“With what?”  whispered Sapphire, wondering if his mouth was working enough to request the waterskin again .

 

 His Lady glanced away, down at the cat that had settled against her leg. “We thought it was the Silver Fever at first. We had you in quarantine up until last night. You were in some sort of purgatory, and then you started to seize.”

  

His heart skittered. Sapphire had to swallow to fear that bloomed. “But I didn’t have it? The Fever?”

 

“No.” Vysehna shook her head, her hair no more than a knot at the nape of her neck. “You were... Someone…”

 

He didn’t think he’d ever seen Vysehna at a loss for words. Didn’t think he had ever seen her so undone. Even when she had been wasting away, everything had been in place. Firm and callous, but unyielding. Always moving. His Lady was wildfire.

 

Now she seemed like wisping smoke.

 

And while every inch of his body might have throbbed and his mind piqued with curiosity, Sapphire hated to see his mistress upset .

 

“Pe moa--,” he cleared his throat, mind sputtering. “Please, tell me later? And may I have more water?”

 

"Of course--,"Vysehna nodded immediately, reaching for the bottle on her desk. “We’ll definitely need to start getting you to eat again, as soon as possible. You’ve had little more than soup and that fucking bullshit for a month.”

 

The expletives caught him off guard. Not that his Lady never cursed, but Sapphire couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause of her wrath.

 

“I will eat whatever you offer me, my Lady,”he murmured. Vysehna bit her lip.

 

“I know, Pet. You would do anything I asked.”

 

The tightness in his chest shifted, a weight going air-light. He was her pet. Not her whore, nor her servant or steward or footstool. Pet. Companion.

 

“I would,” Sapphire promised. His head was foggy, his sight fluttering black and white. He didn’t know the day, the time, but he knew this. “Anything you ask.”

 

She touched his forehead, smoothing back the hair slick with sweat. Sapphire thought he could drown in her touch and die a happy death.

 

Vysehna’s smile was nothing short of lovely. The barest curl of her lips, like dancing calligraphy. “Sleep, Pet.”

Sapphire blinked, and then he saw his mother. The dark sweep of her curls, the gaps in her teeth as she smile. Soft, frightened, and so, so tired.

 

_"Sleep, Little Bird."_

 

 

 

* * *

 

Sapphire’s eyes slipped closed. Vysehna sat for a long minute, watched his chest rise and fall.

 

Dog meowed, stretching along his side. The beige of his belly fur spread out in tufts towards the ceiling. Sapphire’s guardian, with murky amber eyes and torn ears.

 

“You will watch over him, won’t you?” Vysehna whispered, “You will keep him safe?

 

Dog blinked, slow, deliberate, resting his chin on his paws. What a fool she was, taking to a cat.

Vysehna flexed her hands, swallowed the bile sitting on her tongue. He was alive. Sapphire was alive, with flushed skin and bright eyes. He was going to be okay. Her boy was okay.

 

She took a breath, bones creaking like macabre windchimes. A chasm, miles wide,  endlessly  deep, sat in her chest. She could feel it, the flint sparking against those cold parts. The taste of ash and fire sat heavy on her tongue, claws like daggers in her spine.

 

Then nothing. Sparks frozen over.

 

Vysehna rubbed her temples, blinking against ththe pounding in her skull. It never seemed to abate. 

 

She watched the sun slide across her desk, the red blotches like spatters of blood. Force feeding Sapphire his own death. It was disgustingly clever, even if the execution was lackluster. With each sip of tea, each mouthful of broth, he’d come closer to the line until all that stood between Sapphire and his death was a sheet of empty air. Nothing to soften his fall.

 

Sákran Loufin was usually used to cause havoc, spawn quarantines or to divide a populous. Rarely was its open time used to kill like this. Whoever had done this-- that fucking servant-- had been sloppy. Hadn’t taken the necessary time to hide their tracks. There were better ways to disguise the poison.

 

Then again, choosing a toxin that looked like an antidotal herb almost cost Sapphire his life.

 

Vysehna clenched her fists, white knuckling the sheets. All she could think of was Sapphire, white faced, crying out in his sleep. But it wasn’t her job to get angry. Right now, her job was to watch out for her boy.  Stay calm, keeping him safe. Now that she had  been given  a second chance. Mattias, Rainier, and Kaeder, her friends, would handle the rest. Find the bastard that did this. She believed it.

 

There were few things she feared more than the three of them out on vendetta.

 

Rainier had  been red  in the face when they’d collided in the corridor. Vysehna, tears running down her cheeks, laughing and sobbing.

 

“It’s poison,” she choked, nails dug into the Captain’s lapels.  He took the handkerchief, his eyes so wide the whites show all around, and as he held it up to the light, beheld the petals, an edge of his mask slipped  . For a second, she saw Lawrence again. Saw him choking on the relief. Not that Sapphire  was poisoned, but that he could  be cured  . Healed.  Then came the bolt to Mattias; in tandem, birds’ wings, they’d flown beneath the deck to rouse the one who knew so much on fixing the wrought .

 

A glance, Mattias said, was all he need to see the fault in his early hypothesis.  Some horrible look of disgust gathered on his shrewd face, and Vysehna remembered how rare it was for him to be wrong . But it didn’t matter, not when he got it so right in the end.

 

Perched on the chair with her knees to her chest, Vysehna scratched lines into her scalp. When they found him, whoever the servant was, she was going to destroy him. Draw from the cavernous hole in her chest where her wrath had slumbered, burning white, and obliterate them. Sapphire would  probably  try and spare them— and it would be her duty to respect that.

 

Fuck duty.

 

Fuck the manipulation and bullshit and lies disguised as kindness. Vysehna had had enough of  being manipulated . Whoever did this had made a grave mistake.

 

* * *

 

Mattias thought he knew hate. He thought anger was something he’d faced too many times to get swept away with. That the weeks after Vysehna had  been stolen  away had shown him the darkest parts of God's hand.

 

He knew better now. His body hummed with it. Each step, each breath, a slow steady seethe. Besides him, the Captain was a hollow mask, Mattias could smell it on him. The same as any unwashed body.

 

Sapphire, whiter than his sheets. Vysehna, biting her fist as she wept in his arms.

 

_My fault. It’s all my fault._

She cried out, over and over. Blood in her teeth, shoving the table. All Mattias had been able to do was hold her close, pet her hair, whisper gentle words. Rainier met his gaze across the room but said nothing. They both knew who was  truly  at fault. Who had dismissed the poison from the start, on nothing more than a cursory glance. He knew better. Had he been too busy? Too tired? Too focused on Vysehna’s sallow cheeks and shadowed eyes.

 

Sapphire had almost died because he’d been cocky.

 

Now, seated at one of the tables in the empty dining hall, Mattias stared at the ground. The serving girl— Tresser, Vysehna said— sat across from them, fiddling with her fingers in her lap.

 

Rainier slid a teacup across the table, it’s rim smeared with the flesh flower. “Do you know what this is?” 

 

“It’s… it’s on a’ the cups I brought up to the Lady for breakfast.” Tresser bit the inside of her cheek, glancing  furtively  at the Captain. “Am I in trouble or somethin’?”

 

Kaeder, sitting adjacent, offered a tight lipped smile. “No, Little One. We  just  need to know who made the tea.”

 

“If I do, are _they_ gonna get in trouble?”

 

Mattias gripped the edge of the bench, the wood groaning as his knuckles went white. It was  just  like them to protect one of their own. Their tight knit cluster, which had  been built  to protect bird of a feather from the cat, was now hiding a predator.  He didn’t understand why they hadn’t barged into the kitchen, kicked the doors in, and demanded the perpetrator come to answer for his crimes  .  Surely  once they  were exposed  , no one would stand by them.  All of  this diplomacy and coddling was bullshit. And innocent man had almost  been slaughtered , and here they were playing house.

 

Elbows on the table, Rainier tented his fingers before him, and sighed. “That depends on them. There are… some problems afoot, and we need to get them cleared up as fast as possible.”

 

“What sort a’ problems?”

 

His hide would have  been tanned  black and blue if he’d pestered his betters this much as a child. Mother Carlisle hadn’t tolerated the slightest bit of lip from him, or any of the other urchins. This was taking too long. For all they knew, the perpetrator was currently poisoning their ale supply. Or their food. Or  maybe  they’d  just  stabbed someone and hid the body.

 

Mattias silence the Captain with a sharp gesture. “Sapphire didn’t have the Silver Fever. He was being poisoned.”

 

Tresser’s gaped, skin ashen. “I don’t know nothin’ about that!”she yelped. “I’d never— not ever—”

 

“Mattias,”warned Lourna.

 

He seized the teacup and thrust it in the girl’s face. “See the red? That’s poison. It usually kills within a few hours, but in low consistent doses, it mimics the Fever. You delivered him toxin everyday, and unless you cough up who did it, we’ll have to think it was you!”

 

“I didn’t do nothin’!”Tresser cried. “I swear, we’d never do that!”

 

“One of you _rats_ did it,  just  like one of you smacked the daylights out of him. So  maybe  being milk-livered cowards—”

 

Rainier yanked him by the arm. “That’s enough!”the Captain snarled. Mattias whirled, shoving him away,

 

“Sapphire spent a month dying in bed, and you  just  want to play nice?”spat Mattias. “For all we know it could have been her!”

 

Tresser looked at them wide eyed, lips trembling. She swallowed, and then looked at the tea cup. “It wasn’t me,”the girl whined. “Swear, it wasn’t. I didn’t make the tea, it… it was the new guy.”

 

Rainier frowned. “There’s a new servant? We haven’t—”

 

Kaeder let out a rough sigh, “We did, Lawrence. The boy.”

 

“Boy?”echoed Mattias. “Who’s that?”

 

Now Rainier couldn’t look at him, and instead rubbed the back of his neck.  “When we docked that first day— the second time— I  was approached by  a young man seeking safe travel to Kraiel in exchange for work—” 

 

“I thought we didn’t take travelers?”

 

“He was… he couldn’t be much older than fifteen, and he seemed desperate. Disheveled too; I thought he might be fleeing someone.” Rainier glanced to Tresser, the girl silent as stone. “You’re certain it was him that made the tea?”

 

Tresser sniffed, wiping her nose on a sleeve. “Yessir. He said his mom used to make it for him and his siblings when he was sick.”

 

“Where was he when you saw him last?”

 

“Washin’ dishes in the kitchen. That’s where he was when you had me come out.”

 

Mattias sucked in a deep breath, “Can we get moving now? Or do we need to file the paperwork?”

 

 

He came  quietly  . With Mattias and Rainier blocking him in from either side, he didn't have much of a choice. Hands under his arms, they marched the boy out to the dining hall, where Kaeder bounded his hands. He was a scrawny thing,  barely  a man.

 

"You know what you did, then?"Rainier sighed, when the boy only ducked his head.

 

"Yessir."

 

"You are confessing?"

 

"Yessir."

 

The Captain blinked, like he didn't quite know what to say, then shrugged. "Put him in a cell. I'll go tell Vysehna the news." He shoved the boy back into Mattias' arms and strode off.

 

Mattias could only stand there for a second, feeling the bones under his hands. The trembling body held tight against him. Then they marched. The boy didn't fight. Didn't struggle.

 

Mattias didn't know what to make of it. It was... difficult to be angry.  Sapphire was suffering, had  been targeted, and would continue to suffer for awhile now as he regained his strength . But the boy in his hands, hunched, pliant, it felt like crushing a baby rabbit.

 

The boy stumbled, halting  abruptly . Mattias tightened his grip. "Come on,"he snarled, "You got two legs, keep walking."

 

"I'm sorry," the boy whispered, staggering into an uneven trot, "I  just \-- I'm sorry."

 

Mattias grimaced. He blamed Vysehna and her Pet for making him so soft.

 

He dropped the boy in one of the two cells and locked the door. "Someone will be in to question you sometime later,"Mattias grunted. "You've  really  pissed off the wrong people, Kid."

 

Settling against the back wall, the boy rubbed the ropes against his face and sighed, "He's alive then?"

 

"You should be glad. If he died and the Lady found out it was you, you wouldn't  be spared  an ounce of mercy."

 

"I'm not gonna get any mercy anyways."

 

Mattias snorted. "Well, I assure you: things would be so much worse if you'd succeeded.  Maybe  she'll come down anyways."

 

Blue eyes guttering, the boy looked up then. "I've got nothing to say--"

 

"Yeah, yeah." Mattias rolled his eyes. "Save it, Kid. We'll discuss it later."

 

To his surprise, the boy  just  nodded, the lantern light turning him gaunt, his features jagged like one of the ancient statues . In the cell, small as it was, he looked minuscule. A broken bird lost at sea. Mattias shook his head, leaving the room with the door locked and the key in pocket. Vysehna was going to come down here, if he knew her at all.

 

She wasnt a monster, not like she seemed to think, but Vysehna was no benevolent goddess.

 

By the time he made it to the deck, Mattias had decided he wasn't going to be around for when she finally got to visiting.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, we aren't anywhere near the end!


	14. Chapter 14

When Sapphire woke next, it was night. He shifted, gritting his teeth against the pain, and forced himself to sit up. Vysehna was where he’d last seen her. In her chair. Bent at the waist, with her head pillowed in her arms on the mattress, she looked haggard.

 

The oddness of the situation hadn’t escaped him. He, the slave, had dominated the bed for the better part of a month, while his mistress slept as she did now. She must have been just as sore as he was.

 

Bile still sat rank in his mouth. Sapphire fished for the water skin on the desk, hands uncoordinated in the dark. When he settled back down, he found Dog watching him. The ancient tabby had declared the other half of his bed to be his own, curled in a content ball in the dead center of it.

 

The cat chuffed under Sapphire’s touch, eyes shut and maw splitting in a massive yawn.

 

“ _Hello, friend,_ ”he whispered to the cat, his mother language rough and unpracticed on his tongue. “ _You’ve been watching over us, haven’t you?”_

 

The loss of time clung to him like an oil. It was never a good thing. Drugs had been favored by Lord Malco for keeping him complacent, and while the King had rarely ever dosed him, it had happened. On bad nights when he lost himself, and would awake to the dark room used for punishment.

 

Vysehna _had_ touched him, she’d needed to. Otherwise he would have woken in a sea of his own sweat and piss.

 

Nevertheless, the knowledge that his Lady had seen him, touched him, sat aching in his chest. He wasn’t mad, or even… displeased. It was impossible to deny the allure of her body alongside his. But his skin, while it was mostly clean and still smelling of his Lady’s soaps, bore the marks of a thousand hands. A thousand punishments. The majority of his grime sat beneath the skin, where it could never be washed away.

 

Sapphire just wished he’d been coherent enough to explain to her that, even though he was scarred and scrawny, he’d been beautiful once. Certainly no longer, but he’d been something worthy of her at one time or another.

 

He snorted, running his fingers over his eyes. Of course that was his one hang up. Not that his mistress had bathed and dress him while he was unconscious, vulnerable and at her mercy. His issue was that she might be disgusted with what she found.

 

“You’re awake.”

 

Sapphire stiffened, finding Vysehna staring at him. The moonlight caught her hair through the slits in the dressing screen, turning it silver.

 

“I have to… go,”he swallowed.

 

“Go where?”  

 

Sapphire felt his face go red. “I meant... _Go._ ”

 

His Lady blinked as she straightened upright. “Oh. Do you think you can make it on your own?”

 

She’d had to do this for him too, no doubt. The room suddenly too hot for his liking. Sapphire swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and winced as they struck the floor. He didn’t make it two steps before his muscles gave out. It was only Vysehna’s sudden grip on his elbow that kept him from striking the floor, allowing him to grip the desk.

 

“I’ll take that as a no,”she breathed. She hooked her arms under his, acting as an extra set of legs as he wobbled upright, and started towards the door.

 

Sapphire sputtered, “You don’t-- you’d have to--”

 

“Hush, pet.” The familiar feeling of warmth in his chest. “You are still healing. Let me take care of you.”

 

By the time they made it to the door, Sapphire was sweating, his head back against her shoulder. They hobbled the way out into the corridor, across the hall to the tiny chamber tucked into the wall. The room was small enough that he didn’t require her assistance, thank god. Their journey back to the bed took twice as long, because the both of them needed to take frequent pauses to catch their breaths.

 

His legs felt trapped in jelly, quicksand. As if he’d been outside in the cold for too long, and his muscles had gone numb. How has she done this with him unconscious?

 

Finally back in bed, Sapphire could only run his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry, Mistress.”

 

“I should have just brought the pot in here,”she sighed, dropping back into her chair. “Mattias put it back after you woke up. Next time.”

 

Sapphire paused. “You… aren’t upset?”

 

“It’s not the first time I had to carry you. I’m beyond being upset over it.”

 

At a loss for words he looked to Dog, who had trudged over to sit in his lap.

 

Was this the same woman who had caned him? It couldn’t be. Who Vysehna had been then and who she was now didn’t align. A broken reflection, warped and aged. Hard edges gone soft, mellow valley sharpening into jagged peaks.

 

Some part of him yearned to kneel, the same part of him that purred whenever she called him pet. If he could only kneel, his chin in her lap, and prove to her that he might still be worth her time. If he could only get her to smile. _Really_ smile. Show her that he was a good boy. What kind of pet was he, that he hogged the bed and left her to some wooden chair that made his bottom ache to look at.

 

“Mistress, why did you stop sleeping in your bed?”hedged Sapphire. He guessed he already knew the answer. Their one night together had been pleasant for him, but perhaps it hadn’t for her. And then he’d gone and gotten himself poisoned, and Vysehna had never been able to voice her issues.

 

His Lady hummed, tracing a line over the sheets. “Such forward questions from my pet,”she said, and Sapphire only had a second to panic before he caught the gleam in her eye. Then Vysehna shrugged, giving Dog’s rump and little scratch. “I don’t know. I figured you hadn’t been given much consideration in the past. I wanted to prove myself better than that.”

 

“But… you were already better.”

 

“Was I?”Vysehna raised an eyebrow. “Abandoning you to the floor, letting you get harrassed by the serving staff, caning you--”

 

“I didn’t mind the caning!”he blurted. “I didn’t. Please, my Lady, don’t guilt yourself over that.”

 

“You didn’t mind it,”Vysehna repeated, unconvinced. Sapphire scrambled to formulate his thoughts.

 

“Obviously I didn’t like being beaten but it-- it _helped_ you; when you were upset it helped you feel better. And then you took care of my marks afterwards and it was…” he became distinctly aware of his naked upper half as his body began to blush in conjunction to the rest of him. “... It was nice.”

 

“Nice,”Vysehna echoed, expression puckering. “Fine. But the rest of it? It doesn’t sound different from the way your were treated previously.”

 

Sapphire glanced back at his cat, tracing the patterns of Dog’s pelt with his eyes. “It is, though. You’ve… I don’t think you’ve ever sought to be cruel. You are strict sometimes, maybe, but you aren’t cruel.”

 

Her eyes on the floor, Vysehna murmured, “You have new scars because of what I did.”

 

“They remind me of when I made you happy.”

 

It wasn’t healthy. It was some sort of drunken, illusionary affection. Sapphire wasn’t so broken that he didn’t know that. But he didn’t care. What was normal and healthy had no place within him. Somewhere along the line, he _had_ been broken enough to not care. Seeing her happy made him happy, and her lovely touches made him feel things long since dead. What did it matter that a normal person would be revolted? Panicked. Disgusted.

 

What normal was, and what he was, no longer aligned.

 

When Vysehna didn’t look back at him, Sapphire patted the bed. “You can join me, if you’d like. I wouldn’t mind.”

 

She bit her lip. “I couldn’t.”

 

“Please, Mistress?”

 

A flicker of satisfaction in those eagle eyes. Was that what he looked like everytime she called him Pet?

 

After a moment of contemplation, Vysehna rose-- he didn’t like the way her joints cracked-- and settled down besides him. Sapphire was already moving, bones groaning as he accommodated space.

 

“Why didn’t you have a cot brought up?”Sapphire wondered aloud. Vysehna shrugged, head tipping into the pillow as her body went soft.

 

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to be far from you, in case something went wrong.”

 

In case he stopped breathing, or his heart gave out. He thought of Vysehna in her chair, hunched over, watching. Always watching, as she wasted away. As though she might suck the illness-- the _poison_ out and cleanse him.

 

It wasn’t right. This wasn't how masters and slaves got a long. It was as if cats no longer hunted mice but cherished them instead.

 

Against nature.

 

Overhead, the ceiling rocked with the waves. Blotched with water, deep amber like the walls. Dark. Completely dark. The lanterns must have gone out hours ago, the moon hidden by clouds. Sapphire wasn’t frightened. It was a shock, but he wasn’t scared. His mistress was watching the same ceiling, his shoulder mere inches from hers. Nothing stalked through the blackness, save for the bitter old tom cat that sniffed at where the rug had once been.

 

“They found him-- the man who poisoned you.”

 

Sapphire blinked, looking at her. Vysehna was in fact not watching the ceiling, her eyes were closed.  He thought she might be smiling. “Mattias says he’s about sixteen. They picked him up from one of the ports.”

 

Sixteen? He was practically still a child.

 

“Has he spoken at all?”

 

“His name-- Rêve-- but nothing else.”

 

Sapphire sucked in a breath, heart hitting his bowels. For a moment, he could only hear the sound of his own agonized wheezing, his most recently meal threatening to heave back up. For a moment, he was bent over the edge of a wagon, a strange hand in his hair and the other tracing the edges of the welts across the back of his thighs.

 

_“Tell me your name, boy.”_

 

_People were watching. So many people, seeing him, seeing this. Why weren't they helping? Why was no one helping?_

 

_“Tell me, your name.”_

 

_A warning swat across his buttocks, harkening to the cane soon to come. He bit back a whimper, blood speckling the old wooden wagon. Another whack, he rocked with the force of it. Wood grating against his belly, choking off a sob that would only make things worse--_

  


Vysehna gripped his shoulder. “What is it?”

 

Sapphire shook his head, heart careening against his ribs. “He's-- I need to speak with him-- now _,_ I need to speak with him _now._ ” He yanked back the sheets and threw himself across the bed, scrambling to get his feet on the floor.

 

“Whoa-- whoa!”Vysehna caught him by the arm before he hit the ground. “You can't even walk on your own yet, what do you hope to accomplish?”

 

The world blurred as tears formed in his eyes. “Please, Mistress,”Sapphire choked, “Please, I need to see him.”

 

Vysehna tugged him back into place, then against her chest. He sunk into her warmth, finding his own skin pebbling as its cold became apparent.

 

“I'll take you to see him shortly,”she murmured, “I will, but not until you can make it down the stairs.” Her arm braced across his chest, holding him close.

 

“I-i need…”

 

Vysehna shushed him, a hand smoothing through his hair. “Don't fret, Pet. I'll take you to see him, I promise. But you need to rest.”

 

Sapphire forced himself to take a breath. Then another. He believed her, but it didn't soothe his pounding heart. He _needed_ to see this boy.

 

Vysehn shifted then, her arms going loose to press Sapphire gently back into his place at her side. He winced, back cramping, though it was easier to breathe with his chest stretched flat.

 

“I'm sorry,”murmured Sapphire. He turned his nose into the hand that lingered on his face.

 

Vysehna laughed, the flutter of bird’s wings, and said, “No more worrying from you, Pet. It's going to be alright…” Then her mouth twisted. “The boy, do you know him?”

 

“No.” It was the truth. “... I just need to understand him.”

 

She seemed to accept that. And When they were finally settled, Vysehna said into the dark, “I don’t think he’s worth your time.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He poisoned you. Without knowing you, he tried to kill you.”

 

Sapphire frowned, his fingers tangled in Dog’s belly fur. “Perhaps he had a reason.”

 

“I’m sure he did,”Vysehna agreed. “And we’ll get it out of him one way or another. Don’t spare your pity.”

 

He jolted. “You haven’t--”

 

“As far as I know, no one’s touched him.” In the dark of the room Sapphire didn’t see her hand move, but he felt it when it appeared on his chest. “Be at ease. I’ll leave him unharmed until you get your questions in.”

 

“You would torture a child?” whispered Sapphire, as cold dread began beading in his gut.

 

“He poisoned you over the course of several weeks. This wasn’t a child’s decision. He’s plenty man enough. We need his information, Sapphire”

 

He bit his lip, choosing to stay silent. This didn’t read like an angry, knee-jerk idea. It was calculated, the boy was patient. It would have been so much easier to just kill him while he slept, but this boy had gone out of his way to take it slow. Make it look natural.

 

“You think someone hired him.”

 

“You were a court pet, it makes sense you would have enemies,”responded Vysehna.

 

Clearly she didn’t know what ‘court pet’ actually involved. The only time he would have had a chance to make enemies is if he accidentally bit them.

 

“Hey.” Sapphire flinched as her arm draped across his stomach, pulling him back against her. “I don’t want you to worry about it, okay? We’ll take care of it, I promise.”

 

She smelled like sweat and wine, but Sapphire pressed closer, eager to steal her warmth. Her confidence.

 

“No more of this,”Vysehna decided. “Right now, you need to sleep. Save the fear for tomorrow.”

 

He forced himself to take a breath. “Yes, my Lady.”

 

That very breath was stolen when Vysehna nuzzled the crook of his neck. From where their bodies joined, Sapphire could feel her heartbeat; a steady rhythm thrumming against his spine. Her breathing as she settled.

 

She must have noted his stiffness, because Vysehna murmured, “Is this acceptable for you?”

 

Sapphire nodded, and grabbed at her arm when she made to withdraw. “It's nice. You're… you're warm.”

 

He felt her smile against his neck. “As you say, Pet. As you say.”

 

* * *

  


“I can make it down the stairs,”Sapphire declared. Vysehna only watched him with a raised eyebrow,

 

“You just took your first steps. You're as unstable as a fresh fawn.”

 

It was true. He wobbled, toes flexing to keep steady. But he wouldn't reach for support. He was sick of needing to cling to the chair, the desk, the dresser, when Vysehna wasn't nearby to support him.

 

“I can make it down the stairs. Please?”

 

Vysehna pursued her lips, then crooked a finger. “Make it back here, and I'll consider.”

 

Sapphire inhaled, eyeing the space between them. It was short, probably one and a half of him long. Or it would have been, if his thighs were trembling with the effort of keeping him upright.

 

The coddling had been lovely at first. Four days under his mistress’ smile, her attentive eyes never straying too far. He went to sleep in her bed, and woke in her arms.

 

Their meals had been exquisite, beyond what they had been before. Maybe it was the way it finally chased the rotten taste from his mouth. More likely, however, was it's mode of transport.

 

_“You want something of me?” his Mistress teased, dropping the platter onto her desk. God, his stomach growled at the scent alone. Oats steeped in sugar water, drizzled in honey._

 

_His mouth watering, Sapphire rasped, “Yes, please.”_

 

_Vysehna smirked as she presented him with a spoon. When he reached for it, she clicked her tongue. “None of that, Pet. Allow me.”_

 

_Sapphire flushed. “You… wish for me to eat from your hand?”_

 

_“Don't act so coy. I've been feeding you for weeks.”_

 

_He couldn't deny that. Shame swelled in his belly, warring with a humming warmth._

 

_“Besides,”cooed Vysehna, tapping his nose, “Isn't this proof that you've been a good boy?”_

 

_He couldn't deny that either. Smiling, Sapphire allowed Vysehna to feed him, and revelled in her beaming grin._

 

Sapphire thought he might be able to spend the rest of his life fed by her hand and be content. But restlessness began setting in. He'd requested, rather demandingly to his unending chagrin, that she help him find his legs.

 

Thus began his journey of meager walks around the room, and to the toilet chamber. Always supported, by her arm or a piece of furniture. It was always mortifying. Even if he got the spend the hour afterward cuddled back to peace.

 

And all the while, Sapphire thought of the boy in the dark. Of Vysehna’s promise.

 

A niggling little string in the back of his mind no matter what was happening.

 

Rêve. It made Sapphire’s skin roil just to think about.

 

He had to be so scared. And angry. Probably as angry as he was scared.

 

Knees wobbling, Sapphire walked the length of the room. Vysehna hummed her approval, gently rubbing along his spine. He drank in the touch, let himself catch his breath, and then said--

 

“Fine,”Vysehna cut him off. “Fine, I will take you. But tell me--” She cupped his face in his hand, angling Sapphire’s head so he met her eyes. “When I told you his name, why did it upset?”

 

His humor gone, Sapphire swallowed. He didn't want to say it. It was like his country, but dirtier. More defiled, and dingy. A piece of him, that he’d rather be kept in the past.

 

“Rêve is… It’s the Hannish word for whore.”

 

Vysehna blinked, her expression souring. “I suppose Malco helped associate you with that term?”

 

He nodded.

 

“I don't suppose you think this is connected?”she grunted. Something in her voice slithered across his skin like an eel.

 

“I don't know,”Sapphire admitted. “That's why I need to speak to him.”

 

Vysehna took his chin gently between her fingers. He couldn't help but shiver at the intensity of her stare. “If Malco is behind this, I'll tear him apart.”

 

Oddly enough, Sapphire found himself relaxing. It was a promise, like everything else before. But it was also a shield. Some sort of impenetrable cloak wrapped around his shoulders.

 

“You're too kind, my Lady,”he whispered.

 

“Nonsense. If that rat is sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, I'm going to make sure he regrets it.”

 

Sapphire glanced at the ground, allowing his mistress to sit on the bed. “Rest. I will take you to see him when you aren't about to drop."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kind comments! Keep them coming, I'm always happy to hear what you think!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to write out a comment or leave a kudos, you all make this so worth it!

“I want to speak to him alone,”said Sapphire. He was settled on a nearby crate, just feet from the door to the brig, rubbing at his thighs. Vysehna stood nearby, too busy trying to get a read on his pallor. The low light was making it impossible to see if Sapphire was doing as well as he claimed to be.

 

When she’d given up, Vysehna sighed. “I don’t know if that’s wise.”

 

“I don’t think he’ll speak if he sees you there. You’re…” his brow creased, teeth catching on his bottom lip.

 

“Scary?”Vysehna finished. Sapphire made a face that might as well have read ‘yes’ in big bold letters.

 

“No, just… intimidating. If he’s already nervous, he might not respond well. “

 

She scowled. His logic made sense, and yet she was hesitant to allow the boy the chance to manipulate the situation. Then again, who better than Sapphire to guilt this young man into sense.

 

Vysehna crossed her arms. “I want you to swear you’ll tell me everything. No omissions, no lies. Do you understand?”

 

Sapphire blinked, wariness settling in his eyes. “I won’t keep anything from you, Mistress,”he murmured. Unconvinced, Vysehna moved in front of him, hands steadying either side of his face.

 

“You want to protect him,”she guessed. Sapphire tried to turn his head. Vysehna held him steady. “He’s young, and you suspect been hurt in terrible ways. But as of now, he is an unmotivated killer. I can’t help him unless I know everything. Do you understand?”

 

Sapphire stayed silent for a long moment. Then, not meeting her eyes, he whispered, “What if it’s… what if he talks about what was done to him? H-how detailed must I be when I describe that?”

 

She huffed. Of course she wanted to respect the boy’s privacy. Sapphire still struggled to speak explicitly about what had been done to him, and it had happened several years ago. Vysehna couldn’t imagine this child would be any more willing to share his traumas. But Sapphire was nothing if not crafty, and she wasn’t foolish enough to leave him with an opening.  “Everything, Sapphire. All of it.”

 

Sapphire grimaced, nodding as he tucked his hair behind his ears. “As you wish, mistress.”

 

“You’ll need to open the door if something happens, it's too thick to shout through,” Vysehna explained, “Can you make it?” Sapphire nodded again, heaving himself to his feet with a grunt of effort. He paused, hand on the doorknob, and looked at her over his shoulder.

 

“Will you… may I ask you to stay nearby? In case i need you?”

 

Vysehna couldn't help but smile. “Of course, Pet. I'll be right here.”

 

Sapphire returned her smile, and vanished inside.

 

Then came the silence. After weeks of being around Sapphire, even in his unconscious state, Vysehna had grown used to someone else. To hearing more than just her own breath. She thumbed the lip of the bench as she sat down, deliberately avoiding the thought of what Sapphire was currently saying to his attempted murderer.

 

The boy was young, Vysehna would give him that. She'd never seen him, but from Mattias’ description, he couldn't be older than seventeen. Perhaps he was being manipulated, blackmailed into murdering a stranger. Promised riches upon his safe return. But there hadn't been any intention of a return. No, you didn't send a child so blatantly onto a ship, require him to use a poison he clearly wasn't experienced with, and expect him to not get caught. It seemed the boy's master had been looking to tie up loose threads.

 

That was likely the reason Sapphire had been targeted, even if not by Malco. He’d been playing the courtly pet for years, and no one holds their tongue around a whore. Someone, somewhere, was conniving a devious plot, and didn't want Sapphire to ruin it.

 

It was clever, is some convoluted, unnecessary sort of way. If only she could speak to them. Maybe she could explain that she had no interest in courtly rivalry, and that whatever schemes were afoot would be left well enough alone.

 

Alas, Vysehna suspected if she truly did get the meet the master of all of this, things would become uncivil very fast. If it was Malco, then things would have been uncivil upon the instant their eyes met.

 

Not that she knew what he looked like. Malco’s name had only ever been uttered once during her time at the palace, and it was in her lessons. A mediocre baron that owned a piece of land that bordered Nu'Haan, as well as multiple properties throughout different countries. There was nothing special to him, no medals of honor or respected relatives. He was a nobody, and evidently he was still raw over it, if he needed to steal young men to treat like dolls.

 

Fiddling with a loose thread on her sleeve, Vysehna settled back against the wall. Already she was regretting her promise to stay near. But the past month had done nothing if not prove her patience. If only she’d thought to bring a novel.

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you know who I am?”

 

The room was too dark, the cell too small. It reminded Sapphire too much of his times shut away to be at ease. And the toes, bare feet poking out from just beyond the ring of lantern light… He remembered being sixteen, still rebellious and full of pomp. Thinking things would get better, that he could get home if he tried _one_ more time. Throat worn out from shouting, as if it would make anything better. His heart swelled to the point of pain as he considered what this young man must have faced to make him so… docile.

 

“No sir,”the young man replied, in a tone that made Sapphire want to vomit. Instead he sat on the ground.

 

“I’m no Sir,”Sapphire said. “My name is Sapphire, and I am--”

 

A long, shuddering breath. “You lived. And let me guess-- you want to punish me for it?”

 

“No, I don’t want to punish you. My mistress wants to understand why you did what you did, but I already have a pretty good guess.”

 

Sapphire watched as those feet disappeared, tucked in close. God, the chill in here was awful. Couldn’t they have at least given him a blanket? And some damned socks.

 

“I can’t talk about it.”

 

Sapphire didn’t know what he expected. Shifting closer to the bars, he narrowed his eyes to try and catch a glimpse of the young man’s face. His features, maybe an expression. All Sapphire could see was a sheaf of tangled hair, and the slope of a nose.

 

“You don’t have to speak,”Sapphire said, “I won’t make you. I just want you to listen. Can you do that?”

 

There was a long pause, and then a sigh. “I… I guess.”

 

“My mistress says initially, you disguised your poison more thoroughly,”he began. “She suspects you made it into a syrup, that was then mixed with my tea and my meals. Then, as I got sicker, you stopped hiding it. It seems almost as if you wanted to get caught… no, you just didn’t want me to die,”amended Sapphire, when the young man made a noise of distaste. “You didn’t want to get caught, because then you’d be in trouble with your master, and that’s never a good thing, is it?”

 

The young man shifted, giving a breathy little laugh. “You think I did this for a master? I don’t serve anyone. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

Sapphire felt eyes on him, his insides churning, and caught the barest hint of a smirk. Like a marionette on its strings.  It was a step from hopeless. If Malco truly had this boy under his leash, then there was no chance of getting answers. And yet, he knew he had to try. He couldn’t just let this boy die for following his master’s command.  

 

Quietly, he said, “I saw the scars on your feet.”

 

The smirk vanished.

 

Encouraged, Sapphire went on, “You said you _can’t_ talk, not that you _won’t_. Because you know if you talk, you’ll be in huge trouble. The biggest of your whole life. You’ll be lucky if you aren’t dead by the end of it. Right?”

 

“You’re a pet, aren’t you?”the boy hissed. “What do you know, all you do is sit on your ass and kiss your mistress’ feet.”

 

“And whores need to get fucked like they need to eat,”Sapphire rebuked.

 

“I’m not a whore!”

 

“I didn’t say you were. But your master did when he gave you that name. You know that’s what it means, right?”

 

“I know what Rêve means, you bastard,”the young man snarled. “But that wasn’t the point of it. The point was--”

 

“To humiliate you? Teach you your place? You get too uppity, and your master had to teach you to be better?”Sapphire finished, one brow raised.

 

“I was… he said I’ll get my name back when I earn it.”

 

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

 

The brig sat in stark quiet. Outside, even the water was silent. Only Sapphire’s pounding heart, the memories of burning agony on his back. Then a quiet, angry whisper, “What do you want me to do? If I talk to you, it’ll be the end of me.”

 

Sapphire smiled, grim and ashen. “There are good people here, they won’t let him get his hands on you again, I promise.”

 

“Oh yes, just trade one master for another. Genius idea.”

 

“My mistress isn’t anything like you’d expect,”Sapphire said, feeling his heart swell with pride. “She’s lovely, looks after me. Everyone I’ve met on this ship is the same. Please, let us help you. No one should have to live under that man.”

 

The young man was quiet for a long moment. Sapphire remained patient. He knew rushing things would get them nowhere, especially considering how terrified this poor man had to be.

 

“ I wasn’t ever even supposed to see you. He said it would be easier if I didn’t see you, that it wouldn’t hurt as much. But I saw you once, on accident, when you came into the kitchen.” His voice was rough, haggard. The young man rubbed at his eyes. “I’d already made your meal and it was too late to fix it. After that, I tried to forget and just finish my job. But then you kept getting sicker and sicker and every night when I tried to sleep, I saw you. It was… awful.”

 

 _Try being the one poisoned_ , Sapphire thought bitterly, his legs twinging in agreement. “I understand,”he said aloud. “He’s your whole world. If he’s happy, you’re happy.”

 

“You aren’t… aren’t you mad at me?”

 

Sapphire scoffed. “You’re just a vassal. Lord Malco is the one that commands you. I know better than to blame you for what he’s demanded.”

 

The name sent a shudder through the both of them.

 

“I didn’t want to do it, I promise. I just--”

 

“You needed to make him happy, I understand,”Sapphire repeated. “I’m not angry with you, and neither will anyone else when they hear what you were faced with.”

 

A sniffle, and god if it wasn’t a spear right through his chest. “This wasn’t the interrogation I was expecting, I wasn’t prepared for this,”the young man croaked.

 

“I know,”Sapphire responded. His head was growing muzzy; he’d probably been upright for too long. Vysehna’s bed, wrapped in her arms, sounded like the best thing in the world right then. But he couldn’t leave just yet. “May I ask your name? Do you remember it?”

 

“I remember. But I…”

 

“I won’t tell anyone you said it,”promised Sapphire. It seemed wrong to ask. Sapphire knew all too well the necessity of keeping who he was and who he’d been separate. Kept the worst of the ache at bay. But there was no way Sapphire was going to go around calling him Whore in the safety of his mind. If someone remembered him, remembered that this poor man existed, then maybe it would be enough. For now.

 

There was a long bout of silence. So long that Sapphire thought that the conversation was over. Then:

 

“My name me Ellison, after my grandfather, but everyone just called me Ellis.”

 

It was a sucker punch right to the stomach. Sapphire hacked, grasping at the bars of the cell to keep from tipping forward. The young man was on his feet, demanding what was wrong. In full light of the lantern, still in his servant’s clothes, Sapphire could finally get a good look. He was so much taller than Sapphire expected. Stick thin, clothes barely fitted enough to stay on. And his face, his _eyes_.

 

No. He did not believe it. It was a false reflection, some fragmented circus mirror. He’d blink, and it would vanish. Or maybe he was dead, in Vysehna’s bed. He’d never woken up. This a hallucination. Some side effect, the poison finally reaching his brain.

 

Except when Sapphire opened his eyes, Ellis still stood. There was no drugged out fogginess. Yes, he was exhausted, but nothing had ever been in such sharp focus.

 

Ellison. Ellis. His brother, with scars on his feet and dark, hollow circles under his eyes.

 

His baby fucking brother.

 

He was going to throw up. In his own fucking lap, he was going to throw up.

 

Gripping the bars so tight his arms shook, Sapphire sobbed, “Ellis, my god Ellis--”

 

Ellison, mouth hanging open, just took a few staggering steps forward. He rasped “What..? What is this about?”

 

The face that had once been so soft and pudgy had caved in, gone jagged. Sapphire realized then that Ellis had been eight when Malco had come calling. So small, he couldn’t possibly remember.

 

Sapphire tried anyways. He demanded, “Look at me, look at my face-- you know who I am!”

Why had this never occurred to him? Why had it never crossed his mind? Malco never, ever let a resource slide past him. He’d gotten rid of one whore because he had another ready. Was his family even still alive?

 

Did any of them remember him?

 

Ellis was shaking his head, denying even as Sapphire choked on another wail. He grabbed the hem of Ellis’ shirt, dragged him down, face to his face, and through the bars he held his brother tight. Eye to eye, bile in his throat, Sapphire watched, as the recognition flickered over Ellison’s expression.

 

Then he threw up.

 

Still on his knees, Sapphire heard the crying. His own, and Ellison’s, as he grasped at the back of his tunic.

 

“He said you were dead,”Ellis was saying, expression shattering. “He told us you were dead, but he never showed us a body. Mama always said-- Mama _knew_ \--”

 

Sapphire threw up again, only bile this time. Ellison went silent. Sapphire was grateful. He swallowed lungfuls of air and spat, until his mouth no longer tasted like an oven in need of a good cleaning.

 

When everything stopped spinning Sapphire managed to sit up, and glanced back at Ellis. He was still on his knees, eyes the size of saucers. “I was going to… I-I tried to…”

 

Sapphire could only shake his head. “It’s not your fault.”

 

He didn’t know what else to say. What did one say when they were faced with something so improbable? So they just stared at each other, unblinking, while Sapphire’s mind worked. What would have happened to Ellis had Vysehna not recognized the poison? Would he have even been allowed to live, or would he have been cut down for crime he’d been forced to commit. Was there anyone else remember that remembered his name?

 

Sapphire moved first, lurching forward to grasp one another. Ellis, with his face buried against Sapphire’s shoulder, continued to sob, “I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault,”he repeated. It was all he could manage.

 

They stayed like that for a long time. Sapphire drank in his brother’s presence, his heart beat, his own thrumming in response. Petting his hair, wiping his sweat-slick brow. And though Ellis was nine years older than he’d been the last time they embraced, he still seemed just as tiny. Smaller, even.

 

When they broke apart, it was only so Sapphire could get a better look. He grabbed Ellis’ face, thumbed the sharp contours of his cheeks. Ellis only sighed, his eyes slipping shut. It had probably been awhile since anyone had touched him kindly.

 

The thought Ellis at the hands of that man, _under_ him… Now he understood why Vysehna always got that look on her face when Malco came up. For the first time in awhile, Sapphire felt the kindlings of fire in his chest.

 

Malco took him when he was fifteen, waited to _take_ him until he turned sixteen. Had he been so courteous with Ellis? Likely not, if the multitude of scars was anything to go off of. Sapphire didn’t even want to think of what his back might look like. The King always preferred his canes and while Malco dabbled on occasion, he always prefered a whip. There were plenty of variations, and he knew how to make every single one of them hurt.

 

It took him awhile to come to the clear realization that the things being done to him were maybe not his fault. In the beginning he had been adamant that Malco was a monster and he was a victim, but things changed quickly. Or, slowly. He didn’t know. Time had very little meaning when your entire existence rested on one person’s happiness.

 

It was a mercy that Ellison hadn't been that far gone. A small one, but it was the very best either of them could have hoped for.

 

“You look so different, I almost didn't recognize you,”Ellison said to the ground. Sapphire couldn’t help his snort, even as tears blurred his vision,

 

“You were barely more than a babe when I left. I’m surprised you managed to at all.”

 

Ellis laughed, and Sapphire felt something inside him loosen. It seemed that Malco was less successful this time around. It begged the question as to why Ellis had been sent on this mission in the first place, but Malco was nothing if not arrogant.

 

Then Sapphire sucked in a breath, hands dropping to his brother’s shoulders. “Ellis, what happened to--”

 

“Father died a little while after you left,”he said, “Mama and Clara were still alright, last I knew. But,”Ellison chewed on his lip, “I haven’t seen them in a couple of months. They jobs as servants in some old lady’s house."

 

It hurt, but not in the way Sapphire expected. He sucked in a breath, drew Ellis back to his chest. “I’m so sorry Ellis. If I could have been there--”

 

“You bought us a couple of months,”Ellison murmured. “We were… we were okay for a couple of months.”

 

A couple of months. For all the hell he’d endured, things had only been okay for a couple of months? Sapphire forced another breath. The fuzziness was returning, in great force. He needed some water, and a good long nap. But first--

 

“I’ll get you out of here,”he promised Ellison, rising to his feet. “Once my mistress hears of this, she’ll get you out in an instant, I swear.”

 

Ellis grabbed for him, eyes going wide. “Wait, Sam--”

 

“I’ll only be gone for a minute or two, Ellis,”Sapphire promised, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

 

“No, I know that. I just…”he swallowed, glancing away. “Do you think you could stay for a few more minutes?”

 

Sapphire’s expression softened, and he forgot all about the dullness in his head. “Of course,”he said, returning to his seat on the ground. Ellis didn’t seem too inclined to let go of his hand, which Sapphire definitely wasn’t going to complain about.

 

Adjusting the collar of his servant’s uniform, Ellison leaned back against the wall. “So, you said your mistress is nice? Is she nicer than...”

 

“My Lady is skies above anything Malco will ever be,”Sapphired assured. “She looked after me while I was sick. She’ll look after you too, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not super satisfied with it, but hey, that's what the second draft is for. Please leave a comment to tell me what you think of the story so far!


	16. Chapter 16

Next to Captain Rainier, Sapphire's brother seemed a hundred times smaller.

 

Brother. Fuck, she still didn’t know what to do with that.

 

Seated in the Captain's office, Vysehna couldn't help but stare. Between the hair, the eyes, and the noses, they might have been twins if not for the shallowness in the younger man's face.

 

A meal was served by Lyss, the ship's doctor, for the young man to eat as he was looked over for basic injury. She stood behind the chair Sapphire had chosen as his own, and under her touch, he vibrated with anger.

 

“May I keep my clothes on?”the young man asked, as Lyss pulled on her cotton gloves. He was staring very intently at the ground, occasionally shooting furtive looks towards Sapphire and herself. When Lyss made to object, Vysehna only sighed.

 

“You don't need him bare to make a proper assessment, Doctor. Besides, I don't think him stripping in front of three strangers would be conducive to his healing.”

 

Lyss closed her mouth, nodding her acceptance. Sapphire loosed a breath, leaning into Vysehna's touch as she gently scratched the back of his head.

 

The young man dipped his head and murmured his thanks. The nervous glances returned as the examination began, Lyss gently poking and prodding along the young man's spine and belly.

 

“He is uninjured, as far as I can tell. There seem to be several healed contusions to his ribs, but everything’s healed,”Lyss said, peeling back her gloves and stuffing them in a pocket, “That's expected considering we've been at sea for several weeks. Id wager he's still underweight, but with steady meals that should continue to improve. I would like to monitor him over the coming weeks, to make sure nothing pops up.”

 

Rainier nodded his acceptance, and then glanced towards the boy, “Is that amenable to you?”

 

Wide eyed he looked up, a piece of bread stuffed in his mouth. He swallowed, cheeks red. “I… I don’t know. Shouldn’t you be asking her?”he nodded towards Vysehna.

 

Her face warming, Vysehna quirked a brow. “I’m not your master, Boy. It’s your choice.”

 

“Not my…? Oh.” He flushed harder, ducking his head. “I-i guess that would be fine. Do I have to do anything?”

 

Expression softening, Lyss shook her head. “Nothing at all. I just want to make sure everything stays in working order. It’ll be nothing more than daily look overs and basic observation, like what we just did.”

 

Plucking a few of the crackers off of his plate, the young man nodded. “I guess that would be okay.”

 

Lyss at last retreated, and Rainier bid the young man to take a seat before his desk. Vysehna watched, intrigued, as he hesitated. A hand on the back of the chair, watching the Captain’s movements closely before finally settling in. He glanced towards Sapphire, still leant into her touch, then focused on the floor.

 

“If you're gonna yell at me--”

 

“No one’s going to yell at you,”Rainier assured him. “I’ll admit, rarely are we so… diplomatic, with this sort of thing, but in the light of your extreme circumstances, I think the wounded party is willing to let it go.”

 

Another look towards his brother, this one Sapphire had a chance to note. He offered a weak smile, “Of course.”

 

Rainier nodded, righted the quill in the corner of the desk, then cleared his throat, “Can we ask your name? Your real name?”

 

“I don’t know,”he admitted softly. “You’re-- it’s different, with my brother. I don’t mean any offense but I--”

 

“We can’t very well call you Whore, can we?”Vysehna snorted.

 

He glanced down at his hands. “I… guess not. You can call me Ellis.”

 

Captain Rainier nodded, and went on to ask about Ellis’ life in Nu’haan, probably to ease his nerves.

 

His head against her belly, Sapphire blinked open his eyes once more, mumbling something she had to stoop to hear. “You’re very kind to show him mercy, my Lady,”he whispered. “When we get back to your quarters, if there’s anything you'd like--”

 

“Are you truly offering to act as my whore? Given everything at hand?”

 

“No,”Sapphire murmured, eyes flitting away. “I just… I haven’t gotten the chance to properly care for you as I should be.”

 

“I think it can be forgiven, Sapphire,”she sighed. It must have been too loud, because she found Ellis staring at them.

 

“You haven't told her your name yet?”he asked, eyes narrow. Sapphire straightened, stiffened, and then nervously cleared his throat.

 

“No, I haven't.”

 

“Why not? You said she was--”

 

Sapphire swallowed, hands flexing. “Can we talk about this later?”

 

Ellison scowled, but glanced back at Rainier, “Sorry, what?”

 

“You said you hadn't seen your master in awhile,”Rainier said, smiling amicably, “I asked where you'd been staying. And how you received your orders.”

 

“Oh. I was still at his estate, but I followed his steward's commands then.” Ellis bit the corner off of a cracker, chewing thoughtfully. “I got a letter, with my master's seal on it. I was told to board the Gaelyn when she docked, at any cost. And…” sheepishly, he looked at his feet. “And you know the rest, I guess.”

 

The Captain’s lips quirked to the side. “And how long had you been with this man, again?”

 

“About four or five years, Sir. I think.”

 

“I'm sorry,”said Vysehna, blinking, “How old are you right now?”

 

“I-i just turned seventeen, Ma'am.”

 

Silence

 

It was like the air was sucked from the room. No one spoke a word. They could only stare, horrified. Ellis winced, looking down at his hands. Sapphire had gone completely still, the arms of the leather chair groaning under his nails. 

What a monster Malco had to be. Sapphire had described himself as ‘not yet a man, no longer a child’ when Malco had stolen him away. But Ellis _had_ been a child. Twelve or thirteen, when this demon had come to prey on him.

 

“That's about how long I belonged to the King,”whispered Sapphire, sounding faint. “He took one right after the other.”

 

Captain Rainier cleared his throat, offering Ellis something of an encouraging look, “I think we should take a break. That'll give you time to finish your meal.”

 

Lurching to his feet, Sapphire was already marching towards the door. “I need some air.”

 

Wide eyed, Ellis twisted to look at Vysehna. She looked at him, hands still planted where Sapphire's shoulders had been.

"Are you mad at him?"He asked, not quite meeting her eye.

Vysehna only shook her head, and jogged out after him.

 

He hadn't gone far, only a few feet from the captain's office, bent over the rail of the ship and staring into the waters below. His legs had ceased their trembling, which settled part of Vysehna's whirring mind. Not a whole lot of atrophy couldn't settle in after only three weeks, but the initial days had been rattling enough that she worried ever now.

 

Sensing her approach, Sapphire glanced up. The look in his eyes gave her pause. She'd never seen him like this. He'd always been steady, calm. Scared, miserable maybe, but never so... unfurled.

 

He ducked his head, hiding his face in his forearms as he laughed. Bitter and cold, he cackled. “I'm such a fool. I thought-- I _actually_ thought that he'd…”

 

“Malco is, evidently, very good at manipulation,”Vysehna said quietly. “You were under his command, you can't have expected yourself to think logically.”

 

“For god's sake-- I wasn't _stupid!”_ he hissed. “I knew he was evil, I knew that if I didn't behave something would happen to them. Why did I think they would be safe just because Malco got rid of me?”

 

“You had to believe,”Vysehna offered, taking a tentative step forward. “You had nothing else to hold onto. You can't blame yourself for this.”

 

Sapphire shook his head. Tears escaped his closed eyes, running trails down his cheeks. “I should have never let him take me. Then neither of us would be stuck here, and maybe we'd all be whores but at least we wouldn't have sold our souls to _him_. He's still got my Mama, and my sister.”

 

“So, what?”Vysehna couldn't help the sharpness that crept  “You're just going to give up? As if you didn't get your brother back?”

 

“I got him back, sure, but who knows what Malco’s done to the rest of my family! They might be dead already and I’ll never know. I was better off not knowing anything at all. This is-- this is too much. Between you, Malco, and my brother,  its all too fucking much. I can't-- I can't think about so many things at once!"

 

Vysehna bristled. She’d never seen him speak so boldly. In fact, Vysehna was pretty sure this was the most Sapphire had spoken at once. Clearly, his brother had unleashed whatever holds Sapphire kept on his temper. It was a good thing, it meant that he was growing comfortable with her. But Vysehna, despite herself, didn’t quite like his attitude, or how he insinuated she was the problem.

 

“You didn’t know before, and you don’t know now. You can be angry later. You’ve got your brother,”she said through her teeth. “And he needs you. So, if you’re taking suggestions, save the anger for later.”

 

“You can’t just expect me to get over it!”

 

“I don’t expect you to get over it. What I expect is for you to act like an adult until your brother is at peace. Then, by all means lose your mind. But not yet."

 

He scowled, glancing away. "I should have known better. Nothing is ever easy when it comes to Malco."

"You can't help the past, Sapphire. But you can help your brother. I don't think any one else can make him feel safe."

 

Hanging his head, Sapphire swallowed, swore. Swore again, then straightened.

 

“Kaeder will find him a proper bed,”Vysehna said, as he headed back towards the Captain’s office. "I expect to see you in my room, when things are settled." Sapphire only nodded in acknowledgement, then closed the door behind him.

 

Fine. He was allowed to be angry, he’d earned that much. All things considered, he deserved far more. And yet it still felt like a giant ‘fuck you’. After all she did for him, he picks her to be angry at?

 

Maybe she just needed to stop taking things so personally. Malco had be his world’s axis for many years, it had to be difficult to put the blame on him. Even if that was where it belonged.

 

She sighed, tying her hair out of the way with the loose band of leather around her wrist. Now, she wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself.

 

After a few minutes of wandering, Vysehna decided to go below deck, and made a sharp left at the landing, heading into the Doctor’s quarters.

 

“Took you long enough to show up,”Lyss chided, as she appeared from behind the curtain. Vysehna couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her face.

 

“I know, I’m sorry. I meant to visit you sooner, but that whole thing with Sapphire…” She settled at a nearby table, while Lyss drew back the curtain. She was scrubbing down a metal table splattered with blood.

 

At Vysehna’s questioning look, she just waved her hand. “One of the riggers fell down the stairs--snapped his leg. No one died. Your boy; he seems a lot better than the last time I saw him.”

 

Lyss had been one of the few people willing to take a peek at Sapphire during the worst of his illness. Though she stayed away after his pseudo-diagnosis, unwilling to risk the ship’s only doctor, Vysehna appreciated her nonetheless. Like Mattias, Vysehna met Lyss shortly after arriving on the Gaelyn. She’d only been an apprentice at the time, so it swelled Vysehna’s heart to see her friend finally where she belonged.

 

They weren’t fast friends, but after Vysehna’s run in with a blade landed her knee deep in a hell that kept her incapacitated for a good long while, they were forced to tolerate each other.

 

“You look like shit,”snorted Lyss, as she ran a rag over the operating table.

 

“My apologies,”Vysehna returned with a roll of her eyes. “I’m exhausted.”

 

“What, your boy’s a bad _snuggler_?”

 

She hissed, heat rushing to her cheeks. “Don’t say it like that."

 

“Touchy touchy,”Lyss tsked. “But you must cuddle on occasion, right? You shared a bed, last I heard.”

 

Scowling, Vysehna traced the wood grain on the table with the pad of her thumb. “Yes, we cuddle. And yes, he’s good at it. But we haven’t done anything else. He’s… offered, but I haven’t taken him up on it.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“What do you mean ‘why not’?”Vysehna gaped. “He spent his adolescent years as a sex slave to a man who apparently has a penchant for the young. Not really someone I’m interested in bedding.”

 

“But you’ve thought about it.”

 

Ignoring the roaring in her ears, Vysehna chuffed, “I didn’t come here to discuss my lack of sexual conquests. I came to see how you were doing; we didn’t get to talk much when I was introducing Sapphire. How have things been for you since you took over?”

 

Lyss’ resulting smirk was nothing short of wicked; Vysehna knew she hadn’t heard the last of this. So they talked for some time, about whatever wild adventures had gone about while she’d been awhile. Her resulting stab of longing and resentment was quickly squandered when Lyss snarled upon hearing her side of the tale. Vysehna didn’t quite understand how everyone was so on her side about the matter. As she said it, there was nothing awful about her life in the palace. More riches than could be spent, food at her beck and call, books aplenty. It was the sort of life anyone with a lick of sense would strive to achieve.

 

The fact that they didn’t seem to think so, that they understood why the grounds had been so lonely and unfulfilling, made Vysehna never want to step foot on the mainland again.

 

She didn’t have to, not really. Rainier, while allied, wasn’t apart of the royal navy. He was under no obligation to set her right. And like sex with Sapphire, Vysehna couldn’t deny the fact that she considered it from time to time. But she had been given opportunities that any other person would kill for, her own parents included. It wasn't right to turn away from that.

 

And she couldn’t very well let her parents’ name go down in history as it would if she became a pirate. As she was now, emissary, was the best way to carry on their legacy. Make them proud as she was never able to.

 

“Oh, Sapphire’s brother,”Vysehna remembered, when she was finally readying to go. “Why did you want to observe him if everything seemed okay?”

 

Lyss spread her hands on the table, the recently cleaned surgical instruments in her lap, and sighed, “I’ll be honest with you, Vys. He’s all in order, but the Captain asked that I keep an eye on him.”

 

“Rainier thinks he’s still a danger?”

 

“Dunno,”Lyss shrugged, “He just asked me to look in on him every now and then. Figured it was the best cover. Are you gonna tell your boy?”

 

Vysehna blew some hair from her face. “Probably not, unless it comes up. He’s got enough to fear, all things considered. Besides, I trust you.”

 

They bid each other goodnight then, Lyss going to see whatever was being served for dinner. Up on the deck, night had fallen. The moon sat full and heavy in the sky, white light bathing the ship a dusty silver. The crisp air hummed along her face as she headed towards the quarter deck, a promise of the colder Kraiel weather.

 

She knew Sapphire had followed orders, because his shoes sat perfectly tucked outside the door.

 

"I heard from Lyss that we're going to be docking soon,"Vysehna sighed, as she swung her coat from her shoulders. "Its a small island called Dosha, to gather supplies for the--"she turned, fell silent. There was Sapphire, on his knees, hunched before the table.

 

“What is this?”She questioned.

 

“I... I realized something, Mistress,”says Sapphire, with his head bowed and voice rough. “I… I was out of line, when I spoke to you outside the Captain’s office. I was angry-- I lost my temper, and I’m sorry. I submit eagerly to whatever punishment you deem acceptable.”

 

Sucking in a breath, Vysehna abandoned her coat on the bed, all thoughts of a genuine punishment whisked from her mind. Carefully, she murmured, “I can’t punish you for that, Sapphire. You’re a man, you’re going to feel things.”

 

“I should have focused on you first. I know I upset you, and I’m really sorry. You’ve been amazing-- more than amazing, you’ve been nothing but wonderful to me. I can’t let my temper ruin it.” He bowed his head, shoulders slumped. “Please, Mistress?”

 

She swallowed, shoulders slumping, “Sapphire, I’m not getting rid of you. You didn’t ruin anything.” She stared at his back, where he remained completely still on the ground. He was… fuck, he was shirtless. She swallowed hard. “How can you ask me to punish you after what happened to your brother?”

 

At last he moved, craned to look at her over his shoulder. Even deteriorated from lack of use, Sapphire was still broader than when he first arrived. “That’s… this and that aren’t the same thing, my Lady.”

 

“Isn’t it? Ellis was manipulated into poisoning someone for fear of his master’s upheaval. You’re asking for punishment because you’re scared I’m angry with you.”

 

“Mistress, no--” he turned then, and damn her if the sight of him crawling over the floor towards her feet didn’t send find licking up her spine. “It’s different. It’s _so_ different.”

 

“Explain how,”she whispered. Her hand found his hair by habit alone, cording her fingers through until his eyes fluttered shut.

 

“Life with Malco is-- it’s all fear,”Sapphire whispered. “There’s nothing but fear, and elation when he tells you you’ve done something good because this _one_ time, you’ve skirted past punishment. I… I haven’t been afraid of you in awhile.”

 

“Oh?”

 

He released a long sigh, leaning against her leg. So warm; how could someone that had come so close to death be so fucking warm? “I know-- in my head I know you could hurt me, but I don’t feel that fear with you. I don’t feel like I have to serve in order save myself. I… I like it, when I make you happy.”

 

“So let me get this straight,”she whispered, stepping backwards to sit in one of the chairs and bringing Sapphire along by a gentle tug of his hair. “You serve me because you like it?”

 

He nodded.

 

“You… like making me happy?”

 

“You also make me feel safe, and…I like being your pet ”he added, a sheepish grin on his face. “If that’s worth anything.”

 

“And so you want punishment, because you want to make me happy.”

 

“Yes Mistress. I want to be good, for you.”

 

Something in her chest growled in equal parts satisfaction, and disgust. Here was a man that had been tortured by countless people, had his own flesh and blood abused and assaulted by the same, and he still wanted to be a pet. It wasn’t healthy. She would be a monster if she let it continue.

 

But she was a monster already, wasn’t she? Something cruel, callous, unworthy. It wasn’t as if she would gain redemption by denouncing Sapphire and his admissions. Besides, no one had ever looked at her quite like he did, not even Mattias.

 

All the logic in the world couldn’t make her turn it down.

 

“I’m not going to cane you again, so put your shirt back on,”she said.Sapphire obeyed, looked back up at her with those sea blue eyes of his. “I… I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to answer it. No matter what, understand?”

 

A shudder ran through him, either in trepidation or at the total command in her voice. It felt good. It felt _really_ good. Slowly, she took his face in her hands and tipped his head upwards, so his eyes could truly meet her’s, and then she whispered, “Tell me your name.”

 

He stared right back at her, nostrils flaring delicately as he breathed. He didn’t want to, she could see that clearly in his eyes.

Vysehna didn’t relent. She had to see how far he was willing to go, how much he meant the words he said.

 

A swallow, then he glanced downwards. “Samuel,”he croaked, “I almost forgot it, but Ellis called me Sam earlier and I--” his eyes began to swell with tears, “I-i haven’t said it in so long. Not even in my head.”

 

She laughed, quiet and gentle, kissing away his tears as she asked, “May I call you that? May I use your real name?”

 

“Maybe... not around others, if my Lady pleases?”Sapphire asked, quivering like a small pup in the rain. “I don’t… I don’t think I’m ready. But if it’s just you and I, I-i think that would be okay.”

 

“Samuel,”she murmured, testing it out. It was beautiful, different from the way Sapphire had been. This was real, and tangible. Not some idyllic figure, some perfect whore. This was a man, a living, breathing person, that saw something of worth in her.

 

He shivered, breathing in deep. “Yes Mistress.”

 

She rewarded him with a kiss between the eyes, then one on the upper lip. The latter earned a smile. 

 

"So... we're docking?"Sapphire whispered, when she pulled away 

 

"Yeah, Kraiel's colder this time of year, so we need to pick up some winter gear." 

 

He bit his lip, face a gentle pink. "May I come with you, if you go? I'll cause no trouble,"he whispered, "I won't. I can be good."

 

"Have you ever been in busy market before?"she snorted.

 

"No, My Lady. But I'd like to go to one, if you would allow it."

 

She ran a hand down Samuel's cheek, combing fingers through his hair. "We'll see, Pet. Now, do you think you could fetch us dinner?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about starting another story, a little darker than this one but with similar femdom concepts. Is there anything you guys would like to see?


	17. NOT AN UPDATE

Sorry for the false alarm, my friends. The next update will be coming very soon I promise. But in the meantime, I wanted to tell everyone what's in store. I

Thank you to everyone who has left a kudos or a comment. They all mean the world to me, and drive me to write more everyday. I never actually thought anything would come of this when I first started positing, but now it feels like I actually have a story on my hands.

 

I've chosen to break Sapphire's story into three parts (mostly to give myself a greater sense of accomplishment), which means this part will be drawing to a close within the next few chapters. In the meantime, I have a new femdom plot in the works. The rough plan is to write a few chapters of that and a few of this at a time, so I can post alternating chapters. The other one won't be written in the same pattern as this one; instead, it'll be written more in the fashion of connected one-shots and prompts. If you have any ideas, tell me in the comments or on one of my other social media.

 

I've also made a [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/Z8Z7QN21)

I'm taking [very cheap] drabble commissions too! Obviously, I'll write anything for my original characters (and any that appear in the future) I can also write original characters no problem! If you have any questions, shoot me a comment.

 

Thank you again, everyone. Expect the next update around this time next week.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @ my commissioner I didn't waste time on this chapter, I've just had it sitting and finally got around to editing the last bit. Your piece will be coming soon.

They docked in Dosha exactly three days later. and Sapphire didn't know what to make of it. The low capped trees, the domed buildings. And the colors, blues and greens and pinks, streamers and flags. Every rooftop had a color. A rainbow of… He didn't know.

Every instinct screamed of lies and deceit. Nothing was this beautiful without having spilled blood. How many whores lined the corners, seeking new customers in the naval men and pirates? How many slaves walked the streets, hefted the cargo?

He watched the docks as they approached, and found none.

Strange. Perhaps this was one of the haughty, foxy sort of city-states. Where the suffering were reserved for the houses, and houses only. Hell, it was a port. Maybe the slaves were just corralled in auction. Or maybe the type of slavery here was different, hidden.

Vysehna stood close by, her shoulder nearly brushing his as she white knuckled the railing. Eyes dancing between every store front and traders stall. Sapphire watched her more than he did the port, intrigued by the glee on her face. Then her eyes caught his. 

He looked down. 

He'd fussed when she handed him the coin purse earlier that morning, telling him to put it in the pocket sewn to his jacket's lining. It was new, something Kaeder pulled from storage. 

“My Lady, I can't accept this,”he'd insisted, tried pressing the coin back into her hands. 

Vysehna hadn't been willing to take no for an answer. Simply plucking free the buttons of his jacket, she tucked the purse away. “I want you to find something for yourself, Samuel, ”she’d instructed.  “I don't care what it is. Come back with a parrot, if you want. But you need something for yourself.

His face going hot, Sapphire had breathed, “You've given me plenty, Mistress. Why would I need to buy more? With _your_ money?

She'd smirked. “Think of it as me spoiling you, by surrogate.”

Now, Sapphire ghosted a hand over the slight bulge at his ribs, before he caught himself and straightened. Hopefully there were no pickpockets afoot. Imagine him coming back to his mistress with nothing to show, her money lost. The cane would be the least of his concerns.

The ship finally came to a gentle hault, the gangplank clattering as it ran over the edge. “You'll stay close to either Mattias or I,”Vysehna said, as the crew secured them to the docks. “Shop as you please, but don't go far.”

He narrowed his eyes, asking, “What if I get lost?”

She fastened her belt tighter around her waist. Eyes far ahead, as if she was speaking to him half-minded. “Head this way, until you hit the docks.”

“What if… someone tries to steal me?”’

Vysehna grimaced. Sapphire told himself that she knew this city best, that if she wasn’t afraid then he shouldn’t be either. Thievery had been a constant threat in the palace, and he doubted the concern would be pushed from his mind anytime soon.

“Is it something you’re concerned about?” she asked at last. Sapphire bit his lip, feeling like a child as he nodded. Vysehna didn’t seem to mind, drawing from her own inner pocket a knife about the size of her palm. He winced on instinct, a thousand pleas immediately rearing in his mind.

Vysehna took his wrist, pressing the handle into his hand. Sapphire blinked, swallowing, as she used his fingers to press a lever, the blade springing forward.

“Oh-- no, I can’t--” he rasped, blindly pushing it away. “I can’t--”

Vysehna closed the blade, forced his his fingers to curl around it. “Take it. You’ve brought it to my attention, and now I’m going to fret the entire time unless I believe you can defend yourself.”

The tone if her voice stilled something in him. An absence of choice. It was surprisingly easy to accept after that.

As they descended the gang plank, Sapphire looked over the scene, trying to ignore the weight of his knife against his jacket. Instead, he focused on pretending not to eavesdrop on his mistress as she chatted with Mattias in front of him.

“Same as you remember?”Mattias was asking, large hands stuffed into his pockets.

His mistress was grinning. “Exactly.”

Even from back here, the sight of it knocked the breath from him. He'd never seen that smile before. Gleaming and full of life. Her eyes brimming with utter joy. It made him realize just how lacking every other smile had been. How darkened.

They made their way up the docks, onto the winding cobbled roads. It was a different world. Markets were usually cramped, thrumming with bruisers and drunkards. Everything here was so… organized. No frenzied revelers or beggers, no swarming crowds. No auctioneers in rich finery, whips at their side. Just smiling people going about their business.

It didn’t make any sense. Where were the slaves, the urchins, the merchants screaming their wares? He followed the stream of people by instinct alone, nearly tripping over his own feet.

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself,”someone said, grasping his arm. Sapphire jolted, made to whirl-- “Easy,”Vysehna cajoled, squeezing gently, “It’s just me.”

He hadn't even noticed stumbling ahead. Sapphire bobbed his head up and down, sucking down a breath as his eyes landed on a fruit cart bedecked in swaths of green. “I haven’t been to a market in years.” 

Vysehna snorted. “I doubt the markets in Nu’haan were much like this one.” 

"So much wealth in one place,”he murmured. His hand drifted back to his ribs, while the other jabbed towards another stand that sold dresses of shimmering fabric. “I’ve never seen anyone with Aner silks that didn’t have at least ten slaves waiting on them. The King sold an entire territory for just a suit of it, and it's just _here_? Where are the guards, security, what if someone tries to steal it?”

Vysehna pursed her lips, musing, “Dosha is a very profitable port. Most procurers would drop to any price in a heartbeat, just for the chance of a cut. What they lose in markup, they make in quantity. And, as for security, thievery is a very serious crime here. Most convicted are deported to prison in their home countries .”

Dazed, Sapphire shook his head.

He rested his hand on hers, gaze landing on counter of statuettes. “It’s just… a lot.”

“Is it too much?”Vysehna asked. “Would you rather stay on the ship with Ellis?”

His brother had had turned peapod green when Kaeder asked him to join. Sapphire just shook his head, “No, I don’t think I mind it. It might be nice to be in a crowd and not be the center of attention. I just… need a second. I've never seen a place like this.”

Vysehna gave him an odd, uncertain look, but nodded. “Dosha is one of a kind, I'm glad you’re getting the chance to see it. Stay close. I want you to buy at least one thing for yourself by sundown.”

“If you insist, my Lady,”Sapphire breathed. He stooped to receive her kiss on his cheek, then strode to where Mattias was admiring a canary. His mouth went a little dry when he realized the casualty of their actions-- he would have looked like the most greedy, foolish pet had his Lady not gone through with it. Such blatant, unwarranted affection had never been apart of his life until these last few months. When had it stopped being a surprise?

He made a mental note to thank her later.

Mattias glanced his way, brow quirked, “Everything okay?” Sapphire nodded, flexed his hands, and took a deep breath. He wished these people put a little bit of faith in him. Then again, he was probably as pale as the sky.

“I’m fine,”he murmured, “Just need a minute.”

Mattias nodded his acceptance, went back to cooing over the fluffy yellow bird. The oddity of the scene knocked Sapphire out of his rut; such a massive man, and Mattias _was_ massive, with such an itty bitty bird. If he’d needed any further proof that Kaeder had raised him, this was it. Mattias looked at him again, and for a moment Sapphire stilled.

Then, Mattias smiled, and held the bird out for him to see. Sapphire relaxed.

They wandered the market for a little while after that, looking for something to satisfy his mistress’ order while not wasting her coin. Nothing seemed overly expensive, even the Aner silks were within the budget, if only just. All the same, he didn't want to spend more than half her coin. Mattias stayed close, letting him explore. Either sensing his nerves or protective in his own right, Sapphire didn’t care. He was happy for the company.

As they mounted another curving, sloped road, Mattias said, “You know, the reason it’s so hilly here is because of all the tunnels.”

“Tunnels?”Sapphire panted. He was used to long, exhausting walks, but a month in bed had crippled his strength.

“Yeah,”Mattias hummed. “All under the city. Kings and queens from across the world come here to have their super-secret meetings. It’s said that the god of deception himself blessed the walls to keep the whispers from traveling.”

Sapphire snorted as he wiped the sweat from his brow.

“What, don’t believe me?”

Before he could think, Sapphire laughed, “Not in the slightest.” Then he froze, body locking up, chilly panic gripping his chest. Turning halfway to Mattias, heart racing, seeing the damage--

Mattias clapped him on the shoulder, so fast he didn’t have time to flinch, and guffawed, “Lookit you; don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that.”

Sapphire sagged, half dumbfounded, half relieved. They kept walking; all the while he kept an eye out for slaves in their ragged clothing, an ear straining for the clanking of chains. He found neither.

Eventually, they paused besides a counter lined with leather goods, manned by a middle aged woman with sun bleached hair. Sapphire gently picked up one of the bags, running his thumbs over the carved details. Knots and vines, a few birds and elk. It was a pretty thing, and he'd thought it would be worth his own price twice over, but the tag tied to it's clasp read nothing of the sort.

Suddenly, Sapphire became aware of Mattias peering over his shoulder.

“Has Vysehna.. Said anything?”

Sapphire paused, looking at him. “I’m sorry?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, the sun glinting over his sweat-slick brow as he said, “About me, I mean. You must know that we used to be… involved.”

“I… did know,”he hedged. “But it would be uncouth of me to discuss my Lady's private matters, even with a good friend... May I ask why?”

Mattias sighed. “No reason. She seems rather smitten with you, though.”

Feeling his face turn a hideous shade of red, Sapphire ducked his head, “I’m sorry, but you must be mistaken. My Lady is wonderful, and cares for me, yes, but I am just her pet.”

Focusing on another bag, Sapphire couldn’t see Mattias’ face, though he could guess by the guttural hum he made that he’d said something wrong.

“Wait, is that why you’re always so formal around her? All the ‘my lady’ and ‘mistress’ nonsense?”

Unable to help himself, Sapphire said, “It’s not nonsense. It makes her happy. It is a respect that she’s due.”

“You two share a bed,”Mattias said, voice dropping in a way that made Sapphire’s insides clench, “and she’s still got you thinking you’re just her dog. Fucking hell.”

Stiffening, Sapphire protested, “It’s not like that. I like doing it. I _like_ making her happy.”

“Of course you do. You spent your life thinking if you didn’t make your masters happy, they would kill you and everything you loved.” Mattias thumbed the bridge of his nose. “Let me get this straight; you wait on her hand and foot, bring her meals, bring up her wash and her books and anything else she asks for, and she just treats you like a pet? For God’s sake-- Vys-- I _knew_ they fucked her up in that castle-- ”

As Mattias spoke, Sapphire became keenly aware of the people milling around them. It was like being on display all over again, except instead of being posed dramatically, he was being yelled at by someone he barely knew. What was worse was that Mattias was not only speaking ill of his mistress, he was doing it in front of an audience. Who knew how many of the crew wandered about, listening to this.

Sapphire at last looked at him, steeling himself against the blustering of anger in his chest. As poised as he could manage, he asked, “Lord Mattias, what exactly do you think is going on between her and I?”

“Slavery-- and don’t call me lord!”Mattias quipped. “She treats you like a fucking slave, and you’re too broken to know it! I bet she makes you kiss her feet, or eat off of the floor, or--”

“Do not presume to be an expert in something you clearly know nothing about,”Sapphire snapped, surprised by the burn of fire in his throat. Mattias stopped short, eyes going wide as Sapphire barreled on, “And do not presume me so broken that I cannot recognize good, and bad. Do not think yourself to be wise enough to decide my choices for me.”

 Mattias shook his head, pity and sadness heavy on his face. “She’s got you twisted around her finger, doesn’t she? Makes you think it's all your fault when she hurts you?”

“She would _never_ hurt me. Not in this life or the next would she ever raise a hand to me!” Not distinctly true, but Sapphire had the sinking suspicion that Mattias was far too dense to understand the subtleties of what he and his lady enjoyed. “My lady cares for me, as I do for her. I serve her because it makes her happy. I make her feel like she’s not alone, and in turn she makes me feel like I deserve the world." 

“It's not right,”Mattias whispered, as if he had suddenly become aware of the eyes on them. Sapphire was, just as he was aware of the wide berth the stallkeeper gave them, and had stopped caring.

The air felt too cold against his face as he retorted, “Who made you the all-powerful being that decides what’s right and wrong? You live on a _pirate_ ship.”

“It’s not a pirate ship anymore! Since we got contracted--”

Sapphire rolled his eyes, grunting through his teeth, “And I’m sure you obey every single law of the kingdom. Not smuggling and thieving in your off time; of course not. You think I’m broken, but do you really think I’m stupid?”

“No, I don't think you’re stupid,”Mattias breathed, “I think you’re caught up in the only life you know.”

Sapphire forced himself to soften. To understand that Mattias’ rage and disrespect came from his compassion. Speaking quieter, he promised, “And now that I have someone that would move the seas and the skies to make me happy, it is a good life, a comfortable one. For the first time in my adult life, I am happy. She makes me happy. Do not think less of her because she finds enjoyment in it too.”

Mattias didn’t seem convinced, but nor did he seem willing to put up a fight. At length, he said, “If she hurts you, tell me. We’ll get you safe, I promise.”

“If I’m ever dissatisfied with my life, you’ll be the first to know,"he sighed.

 

They met back up at the docks around sunset. His body was heavy, jittery with exhaustion, but Sapphire felt lighter than he had in months. As he crested the gangplank, he was shocked to a halt. There his Lady leaned against the rail, eyes heavy lidded and face worn, as Ellison chatted on and on. 

“Sounds like quite the dilemma you have there, boy,”Vysehna yawned.

Ellis wrinkled his nose. “It's not so much a dilemma as it is a bother, you know? I wonder if--”

Sapphire hurried over, sucking in a breath. “Ellis,”he rasped, trying to keep the chide from his voice, “You aren’t bothering my Lady, are you?”

Ellison froze, eyes going wide, but Vysehna just waved her hand, “Nonsense. I don’t mind listening; it’s not as if I was busy.”

Inwardly, Sapphire sighed, thankful of every saint and god in the world that his Lady was so miraculous. “Even so,”he said, gently grasping Ellis by the hand, “I think we ought to get you out of the way.”

As they headed towards the stairs, Vysehna cleared her throat. “Do you really think that’s necessary? Ellis can stay, I don't mind. He can even take his dinner in my quarters with us, should he wish.” 

“Oh, no--”Sapphire began, thinking of the etiquette, the manners, the _kneeling_.

Ellis was already beaming. “I would love to, my Lady.”

 

In the end, no one had to kneel. While they retrieved dinner, Sapphire had Ellison carry up the two extra chairs his Lady requested.

“You know, I’m not gonna call you by that stupid name,”Ellis was saying. Sapphire bristled, thankful for the empty corridor.

“That ‘stupid’ name is what I go by now, please use it.”

“But Samuel’s your real name, why not use that?”

 _Because Samuel is dead,_ he wants to say. _He was whipped, broken, fucked, and starved to death. I am what was leftover when they burned the body._

He doesn’t want to ruin dinner though, so Sapphire says nothing.

“Thank you, boys,”Vysehna says when they enter. Ellison flushes, following her gesture to set the chairs at the table.

Sapphire eyes them nervously, fingers twitching. He still carries the knife; its weight an odd comfort now. “Are you sure you don’t mind, Mistress?”Sapphire asks, “Surely you would rather--”

“I know what I would rather, Sapphire,”his mistress says, and though the coldness of her voice sends his insides fleeing, the warmth in her eyes betrays its jest. “I want you and your brother to sit with me tonight.”

Ellison glances towards him, uncertain. “It's okay, go ahead,”Sapphire whispers, offering what he hoped is an encouraging smile. His brother sat at the end of the little table, Sapphire taking the space between them.

“Don't look so stiff, Sweetheart,”says Vysehna, “It's an informal meal, there's no need to fret.”

Ellis cracked a nervous, lopsided smile, “I-i just hope I'm not a bore.”

“Not a chance. If you're anything like Sapphire, I'm sure you'll do just fine.”

He watches as a look of displeasure flashes across Ellison's features at his name, and nudged his leg under the table. Ellis bit his lip and looks down.

Her eyes narrowed, Vysehna passed them each a plate. “Is something the matter?”

“No, my Lady,”Sapphire responded, and it's not technically a lie. But Ellison glances his way, something like liquid fire in his gaze. Sapphire stays silent.

At last Vysehna shrugged, shoveling a forkful of buttered beans in her mouth. “Did you enjoy the city?”she asked.

At last, something easy. “Yes Mistress,”Sapphire whispered, as he finally began to eat as well. “It was-- exceptional. Beyond anything I expected.”

A quirk of her lips, gentle, and lovely. “Mattias wasn't too bothersome?”

“Oh no. Not in the slightest. He was…he’s actually very good company.” Omitting Mattias’ blatant disrespect of his mistress, of course. Vysehna worries enough, she didn't need to know.

“He's loud,”Ellis put in, staring at the table, “He moves a lot-- very big. I… don't know if I like him.”

Something twists in his chest, just as Vysehna flashed a grin. “Allow me to share with you a story, then. I reckon afterwards, you'll only see him as the oaf that he is.”

Sapphire continued to eat, as Vysehna launched into a tale of Mattias losing his drawers to a herd of rats and spending the midnight hour chasing them around an inn. He was only half listening, too focused on his meal. The day had proven to him that Mattias was nothing to fear. Perhaps a dense, overbearing fool at times, but his heart was good.

No, what Sapphire was really thinking about was their dinner the prior night. And the several nights before that. On his knees, suckling on Vysehna’s fingers as she fed him pickled vegetables and buttered bread. The curve of her smile. Her laugh, when he'd dramatically batted his lashes and pled for more.

Part of him had been hoping they would have been able to spend the night the same way, but the rest of him knew that it was high time he and Ellis spent some time together. He'd guiltily expressed as much to Vysehna that morning, undoubtedly why she had suggested it when she did.

Perhaps his lady would find it in her heart to reward him somehow later on.

His thoughts were broken by Ellison bursting out in a fit of cackles, clutching at his sides, hunched over the table.

Sapphire blinked, fork poking out of his mouth, “What happened…?”

“I knew you weren't listening.” Vysehna poked at his cheek. “You missed my joke.”

He pinked, heart flickering, “I…”

“Worry not, Pet. I'll just have to tell you again later tonight.”

They finished the rest of the meal in amiable silence, before Sapphire eventually walked Ellison down to his bed just outside of Kaeder's quarters.

“She seems nice,”Ellis murmured, hands in his pockets. “I wish you'd let her know your real name, but she seems nice.”

Sapphire bit his lip, setting the lantern on the crate next to his cot. “She… knows. I just asked that she doesn't use it around others.”

“Why not?”

“It's complicated,”Sapphire sighed, “But… please, just respect my request, that's all I ask.”

Ellison kicked off his shoes, raking his fingers through his tangled hair. “I’ll try, but it just seems stupid. I mean, having people call me Ellis again is like having a taste of home. Reminds me of who I was.”

 _That's what I'm afraid of_.

Sapphire just shook his head, bundling Ellison into a hug and wishing him goodnight. Before he could go, Ellis snagged his hand, “Uh, would you mind staying for a little bit...?”

He softened, shoulders sagging. “Not at all,”whispered Sapphire, and settled against the wall. Ellis smiled, whispered a thank you, and nuzzled beneath his covers.

When his brother was finally asleep, Sapphire eagerly crept back to his Lady's quarters.

“I didn't get the chance to ask you,”Vysehna said, from where she was lounging on the bed with a chalice of wine in one hand. “Did you obey my command?”

“Oh--? Yes, Mistress.” He scrambled for his jacket, grabbing  the leather bag he'd been admiring. He passed it to her, and then her coin purse. Vysehna merely discarded that on the bed, abandoning her wine to the dresser in the same motion, but she took care with the bag.

As she ran her fingers over its details, she said, “This is lovely. Though it's rather heavy.”

At that, Sapphire started, “I was assured it was very high quality, so maybe that’s--”

Vysehna flipped back the flap, brows flicking up as she peered inside. “Ooh, what's this?” She produced a small statuette, an eagle carved of blue stone. Sapphire sucked in a breath, turning bright red.

“I just… saw it, and I bought it..”

“Why the long face? Did you expect me to be angry?”Vysehna asked, head tilted.

“No, it's not that,”Sapphire murmured, “I just… didn't buy it for myself.”

“Oh, that's alright. Did you forget to give it to Ellis?”

Sapphire sighed, “No, it's not for Ellison. It was supposed to be for you.”

Vysehna paused, expression stalling. “For… me?”

“Yes,”he groaned, rubbing his face and going to his knees. “It was supposed to be for you, I was going to give it to your formally, I just forgot to take it out. I'm sorry, I know it's stupid, I just--”

“... Sam.”

Thar name flickered through him, a slap and a whisper all in one. Sapphire opened his eyes, and froze.

Those were tears gathering in her eyes.

“I'm sorry,”he repeated, a bit more desperately. “I know it was a bad idea, and it was a waste of money. I can try to sell it back tomorrow, I'm really sorry.”

Vysehna shook her head, wiping her eyes as she sat up straight. “No, no, it's not that. I-i just… come here.” She beckoned him forth with a crook of her finger. Helpless to obey, Sapphire crawled across the floor to place himself at her feet. He stared at the little statue, clutched tightly within her fist. She was going to shatter it, on the floor or over his head. Such a waste of money, he should have known better. If she'd wanted it, she would have bought it. Vysehna didn't need her pet wasting precious coin on stupid little figurines.

Still, Sapphire wished he’d managed to find something she might have liked. He had been excited to watch her face light up, hoped that maybe she would give him another kiss as a reward. A knife would have been better, or a book. Or maybe he ought to have been a proper pet and stayed in his lane. 

Vysehna didn't look at him immediately, which set his heart thundering. Instead she stared at the eagle, tracing the lines of its wings with her finger. It was beautiful, and he'd thought of her instantly when he spied it on the way to the docks.

“I'm sorry,”he tried again, unable to keep the fear from his voice. “I'm really, really sorry.”

At last she looked to him, eyes red, and misty. “Oh, Samuel.” She moved, and he cringed, but her her hand only came to take his chin. Touch kind as ever. Her thumb brushed his lip, slow, so slow his heart might have stopped. And then she kissed him.

It was unlike any of the kisses they shared previously. Gentle still, her breath along his face, tongue on his. Sapphire didn't dare breathe, even as he leant into her, grasping her pant leg as he sought the redemption she offered.

When they inevitably separated, a hair's breath from one another, Vysehna rested her forehead against his. Clutching the statuette in both her hands, so hard her knuckles bloomed white.

“If you try to sell it, I will cane you within an inch of your life,”she whispered. Her voice was so wholly shattered that for a moment, Sapphire was struck stupid.

“Okay,”he agreed, “Okay, I won't.”

Vysehna withdrew, crossing her legs. “Why this, of all things?”

He stared at a spot on the sheets, his heart racing so fast that he could barely head her. “It… reminded me of you.”

A quirk of her brow, humorous and teasing even as her face got wetter. “Oh?”

“I don't think I can explain,”Sapphire murmured.

 _At least not without sounding like an idiot._  

Thankfully, Vysehna didn't seem all that offended. “You're a sweetheart,”she whispered, and patted the bed, “Come up here.”

He obeyed.

Still smiling, still crying, Vysehna set her eagle aside and pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you,”she whispered.

Sapphire froze, mind skipping. His first thought was of the strangeness, the lack of decorum, the absolute absurdity of a mistress hugging her slave. The second was that he ought to be hugging back. So he wrapped his arms around her middle, squeezing gently as he drank in her warmth.

“Anytime, my Lady.”

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's me. Back from the dead. So, this is the second to last chapter in this section. The next ~two sections will have significantly more plot. I've got plans!
> 
> Also, I commissioned art of our two lovelies! Check out <https://shepofshipsart.tumblr.com/> on Tumblr, she was fantastic to work with.

 

 

 

[ ](https://ibb.co/mSBCRkm)

 

* * *

 

The night before they were due to make land, Vysehna and her pet were enjoying the last bit of peace. Two candles illuminated the room, flickering as the ship stayed with the sea. Bent over her tomes and notes, Vysehna was at the table. Her finger tracing the words, reciting decorum, as her heart raced obnoxiously in her chest.

 

She never felt less ready. One wrong word, one wrong move, and everything would be over. Cast out on her ass. A shame to her country. Her kingdom, her family. It would be so easy

 

Easy.

 

 

Vysehna sighed, shoulders slumped. So easy to fail, and she’d never have to return to Sadon.

 

Closing the books, she set them aside. “Find anything interesting, Pet?”

 

Samuel hummed from the bed, her journal of poisons in his hands. “Why are some marked with asterisks?”

 

She cocked her head, rocking back in the chair. “Oh those,”she said, snorting, “I don't think you’ll like the answer.” His body blocked out the light as he approached, going to his knees in a single motion.

 

“What about the ones you circled?”Sam said with a sigh, offering he the journal. Vysehna took it, ran her thumb over its worn edges.

 

“Those are the ones I had a natural immunity to,”she replied, “There are only two. Jurde, and Sákran Louken, I believe.”

 

“That’s--”

 

Vysehna nodded. “I ate a fair amount of your tainted food, and I had no reaction. Not even a headache. I'm working with Mat to confirm it.”

 

He frowned, tucking hair behind his ears. “What about the asterisks? If I may, my Lady.”

 

“Those are the ones I built up an immunity to.”

 

He tilted his head adorably, like a cat. “Meaning…?”

 

She sighed. “I dosed myself slowly over a period of many weeks, until I had no reaction.”

 

Samuel balked, expression slackening, “You… what…?”

 

“It’s called mithridatism. It's common among rogues and assassins.”

 

Silence.

 

Vysehna said quickly, “It was fine. Truly, I'm fine.”

 

More silence. Sam was just blinking at her, mouth slightly agape. Then, he said, “You would have fared well in court.”

 

It was Vysehna's turn to blink, confused.“Was it often a concern?”

 

“The king has many enemies,”he said by way of explanation. But he still seemed a little dull, hazed out. Vysehna gently took his chin in her hand,

 

“What is it, Pet.”

 

“You said you're working with Mattias to confirm your theory. Does that mean you’re poisoning yourself now?”he whispered.

 

“Does it really count as poisoning if it doesn't work?”she inquired, trying to make him smile. It did, if only just.

 

 "Yes,"he whispered.

 

They went to bed together. When Vysehna fumbled with the lacing down the front of her shirt, he offered his hands, a tentative smile on his face.

 

“If I may, my lady?”

 

Vysehna suspected she should have been more put off than she was. As he made swift work, his fingers nimble and swift, she slipped out of her pants. A pretty flush ran across his cheeks, barely noticeable in the flickering light. Off her stockings came, the gentle kisses pressed to both her ankles. And then it was his turn to change.

 

In the beginning, he'd sought refuge on the other side of the dressing screen, but Vysehna brought him back with a clucking of her tongue.

 

“ _No, no, Pet. Come back here,”she sang._

_Samuel had returned, hands bunched in the front of his shirt, “Mistress?”_

_“Undress,”she twirled her finger, “Let me see you.”_

_“You've… seen me naked before, my Lady,”Samuel murmured, a smile curling at his lips._

_“Yes, but never when you're this lively.”_

So he would tug his shirt off, hips swaying to a song she couldn't hear. He'd trade his day clothes for a matching set of loose pants and occasionally a draping tunic. Moon white skin left partially visible through the silken fabric

It always reminded Vysehna that he'd once been a pleasure slave, and sometimes thought he still was. It was her mission to change his perception of himself to something more glowing, more treasured.

 

But she liked his clothes. They could stay.

 

“No shirt tonight, Pet,”Vysehna told him, booting Dog from his spot on the bed.

 

Samuel released a breathy chuckle. “As my Mistress commands.”

 

He came to her when he was finished, arms at his back, and allowed her hands to roam across the silken gauze. Brushing the crests of his hips, her fingers skimming both sides of his back end.

 

“Are you satisfied, my Lady?”he breathed. Vysehna hummed as she admired his abdomen, no longer shallow from a stifling diet. The silence between them was easy, the smile in his voice mimicking her own. One hand went up, finding the scars there. Fresh, and old.

 

She sighed. “Beautiful as always, Pet.”

 

He laughed, the sound tinkling like bells. “Have I earned the night in your bed?”

 

“You have. Lie down.”

 

Samuel stretched, joints cracking, and crawled into bed.

 

 

 

There was a fumbling in the dark. Kicking of sheets, wheezing breath.

 

An elbow lodged under her ribs, and Vysehna gasped, reacting on instinct. Rolling, shoving the body away, reaching for the throat--

 

“I'm sorry! Fuck, sorry, sorry--” It was Sam, scrambling down to the edge of the bed. “I'm sorry, I’m-- sorry--”

 

Vysehna caught her breath, ribs throbbing as she demanded, “What's going on?”

 

Sam sought something beyond the dressing screen-- the water pitcher, Vysehna realized, when she heard sloshing water. “Nothing, nothing, just-- I just need a minute.”

 

Sitting up, Vysehna sought the candle and lit it. “Sam?”

 

He swallowed again and again, voice raw as he repeated, “I'm okay. I'm okay. I… am okay..”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

A long, aching quiet. Another gulp of water.

 

Vysehna waited patiently, allowing him to gather his thoughts. Allowing her heart to slow.

 

Samuel said again, “I'm sorry Mistress. For disturbing you, and--”

 

Vysehna waved a hand, then realized he couldn't see it. “I would rather an explanation over an apology, Pet.”

 

Sam appeared once more. This time, he held that stupid cat to his chest.

 

“I… had a nightmare, my Lady. That's all.”

 

She quirked a brow. “Must have been one hell of a nightmare.” Samuel ducked his head, and Vysehna sighed, “Come, Pet. Kneel.”

 

He obeyed, dropping Dog on the way. Vysehna leaned back, resting an ankle on his shoulder so he could nuzzle her calf. When he was breathing evenly, and her side only throbbed in mild displeasure, she spoke. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

His eyes averting, Samuel sucked in a deep breath, “I'm… am I to accompany you back to Sadon?”

 

She blinked. “Yes? Unless you were planning on dying between here and then, you will be returning with me.”

 

“What of my brother?”

 

“... That is his choice. He can remain here, and the two of you can visit when Rainier sees his husband. Or he can stay on land.”

 

Samuel nodded weakly, swallowing as he whispered, “I'm about to say something I don't think I should, but I refuse to lie to you. Please, punish me if it's too far out of line.”

 

“You can count on it,”She said, eyes narrowed.

 

“What if… if I don't want to go back to the palace.”

 

Silence. Then--

 

“What?”

 

“I'm sorry,”he whimpered, “I'm so sorry. It's just-- the king, and court, and--”

 

“What makes you think you'll have to deal with any of those things?”she breathed, “I've gone months at a time without seeing anyone but my aunt and tutors. It's a big place, Sam.”

 

“What if he seeks me out? What if we get separated and--”

 

“Samuel, he gave you to me. He wouldn't have done that if he wasn't bored of you.”

 

“What if he's not?”he rasped, “What if he's not? I-i can't go back to living like that, not after this."

 

She thought of the heavy cane in her hand, the weight of it. And those scars...

 

“Were you dreaming of him?”murmured Vysehna.

 

“Not… of him,”Samuel whispered, “Not exactly. More so… the punishments.”

 

Gently, she ran a hand through his hair. His body started to loosen, though he was still watching her with those wide, scared eyes.

 

“If you truly don't wish to return with me, then I won't make you,”Vysehna decided quietly, “I can't make you do that against your will, not in good conscience. I'll give you your freedom when we're done here, and you will never have to step foot in the palace again.”

 

To her surprise, his expression crumbled. “I don't want to lose you. I can't. I-i--”

 

“It's alright, Pet,”insisted Vysehna, even as her heart seized, “If it's what you want, I--”

 

“I don't want to be free, I want to be your pet. Just the thought of going back to that place, with those people…”Samuel sniffled, “It's terrifying.”

 

Tentatively, Vysehna said, “You know I would protect you, right? I would never allow anyone to hurt you.”

 

“Not even the king? Would you stop him?”

 

“Yes,”She replied, without hesitation, “Yes, I would. You're mine, not his. I would raise hell if he tried to touch you.”

 

Samuel sagged, a puppet cut free. At length, he croaked, “I will go wherever you take me, Mistress, even there. I know I have no right to ask anything of you, not after everything you've done.”

 

“Don't do that,"she whispered. "Don't roll over and show your belly when you've just flashed teeth. If you don't want to go, then you won't have to."

 

His lip quivering, Samuel bowed his head. "I'm sorry, my Lady. I was only trying to satisfy you."

 

“...Come back to bed,"she sighed. "We both need the rest. Tomorrow will be hectic."

 

Samuel nodded, wiped as he face, and rose to his feet. “I pray I can make you proud, Mistress.”

 

“You will,”she assured, "I've met no finer servant.”

 

That won a smile, at least. Samuel crept back into bed with her, settling back beneath the quilts. Vysehna barely remembered to blow out the candle. When he made to keep a polite distance from her, Vysehna drew him in close, the bare skin of his body warm against her front. They stayed in a gentle silence for awhile, her hand over his chest, feeling the bounding heartbeat beneath.

 

“Sam?”she asked. He grunted softly, turning his head towards her. “Is Sanyr the only reason you don’t wish to return with me?”

 

Samuel sighed, rolling his shoulders a bit. “I did not wish to make it seem like I harbor no affection for you, my lady. You are… everything I could have hoped for. I want to come back with you, I want to care for you as long as you’ll allow. The king, his people, are the only things that stand in the way.”

 

“So, it isn’t me? I haven’t been too hard on you?”

 

He moved towards her, grabbing her hand in his and squeezing gently. She couldn’t see his face in the dark, but she could imagine the softness of it. “Not even slightly. You are my mistress. You can do anything you want with me, at any time, and you haven’t. You’ve been kind, and gentle, and accommodating. I…” he swallowed, and Vysehna could almost hear him blushing, “I am probably more fond of you than I ought to be.”

 

Vysehna swallowed, stared at the darkness cloaking their hands. “You’re a sweetheart,”she whispered.

Samuel sighed, breath warm on her face. In a small voice, he said, "I don't want anything to change. You… I've found peace, here with you. I wish it could stay like this forever."

 

Vysehna didn't know what to say. It could, but it couldn't. "Nothing will change, no matter where you go,"she promised, "You will always be mine, and I'll always look out for you."

 Samuel nodded, pressing his face to her neck, "Goodnight, Mistress."

 

"Goodnight, Pet."

 

 

 

The next morning, Sapphire woke to an empty bed. A quick scan of the room told him that his Lady was off. Her books were missing, the armoire left ajar. With a sigh, he flopped back down.

 

Gulls were crying outside, the first in a long while. The clock told him it was still a bit early. Too early, especially for Vysehna. It wasn't like her to climb out of bed before noon. He'd been looking forward to spending one final morning with her. _Needy,_  he scolded himself.

 

Yes, a part of him had become addicted to his mistress' touch. Her arms, the rumble of her breathing.

 

He became exposed without her, trapped in some sort of limbo between her pet, and court whore. The line blurred heavily nowadays. Sapphire knew that, when he kissed her feet, nuzzled her thighs and suckled at her fingers, it was the whore in him. It put a foul taste in his mouth. It had been his holy endeavor to keep that man separate from this one. Just as he forced away the memories of who he'd been.

 

Shucking off the pants his mistress loved, Sapphire instead found something a bit more noble. A soft steel grey tunic, the high collar and long sleeves hemmed with a brighter silver. The pants were on loan from Mattias, as were the boots, delivered the night before. Real boots, he noted, of leather and fur. Not the point-toed nightmares of court.

 

The jacket and gloves were familiar at least. The jacket in a fond way, the gloves not so much. At least those too were practical. When Sapphire had finished lacing the front of his shirt, he went to the mirror. It was halfway through the braid when he realized what he was doing. Something thudded in his chest, a bird falling dead from the sky. His cosmetics were long gone, but those weren't necessary. He looked like a whore anyways. _Ready for his morning walk with His Royal Highness. Afterwards, they would have breakfast in the study, with him tucked under the desk. He ached all over. His shoulders, his neck, his legs. He was probably still filthy; rarely did the mornings allot time for that. Regardless, he tried to look presentable, mind whirring. What will go wrong today? Who will cause trouble? Did I remember to send ahead to the maids? Am I dressed acceptably? What does Master do so early that he can't take half a second to approve my outfits? What if he doesn't like it? Will it be the light cane or medium?_

 

Sapphire uncoiled his hair. The illusion remained.

 

"Whore,"Sapphire said to his reflection. The man blinked. "You're a whore, I'm not. I'm a pet. I'm treasure, beloved."

 

 _Do you really think that?_ whispered a voice in his head. _Yes,_  he replied. _Yes, yes, yes._

 

_Who are you trying to convince?_

 

Swallowing, Sapphire tucked his hair in a tight tail and vacated.

 

There was breakfast waiting on the table. He ate. Fed Dog. Made the bed and closed the armoire. He latched the window, said farewell to the cat, and left with the dishes. The whole time, he kept his back to the mirror.

 

He was scared that the man in the glass might be laughing at him.

 

Ellison was below deck, as he usually was. Sapphire found him sitting on his bed in the dark, illuminated only by one of the portholes.

 

"Ellis,"he chided, as he lit one of the many oil lamps scattered around the room. "What's with all the gloom?"

 

Ellison lied on his back, a small coin in his hand. Sapphire recognized it immediately.

 

"Why do you still have that?"he asked quietly. Ellis only stared at the coin, thumbing the two headed stag embossed on its front.

 

"I couldn't make myself get rid of it,"he admitted softly, "It… it still a piece of home to me."

 

Sapphire swallowed. He sat on the edge of the cot, plucking the coin from his brother's hands. It was silver, smoothed in areas from repeated touches. Beneath the stag were words he did not know. He knew what they meant though, Malco's spine had been tattooed with the translation: _Through Might, We Sunder._

 

A shiver ran up his back. Sapphire flipped the coin over, focusing instead on the coin's smooth metal.

 

"Are you mad?"Ellis asked, not looking his way. Looking at him, Sapphire could have confused him for a child instead of the full man he was. Wide eyed, pudgy cheeked despite years of insufficient meals. A stranger would never come close to guessing right.

 

He shook his head, wrapped an arm around Ellis' middle and pulled him close. "I could never be mad at you for this. It's alright."

 

"I know Lady Vysehna would be completely displeased--"

 

"It's none of her business,"Sapphire replied. Ellison blinked.

 

"But she is our lady--"

 

"She is _my_ lady,"he grunted, "Not yours. Therefore, she has no right to your secrets."

 

The room was silent, save for the far off whistle of waves. Ellison took the coin from him and tucked it into a pocket,

 

"I thought you said she was nice."

 

"She is."

 

"Then why do you look like I just said something really awful?"

 

Sapphire forced his expression to go blank, perfectly neutral. Damn. He hadn't been aware of his expressions, they hadn't even crossed his mind. Bad sign. A sour look was the quickest way to an angry owner.

 

"Because you're just not hers,"Sapphire swallowed.

 

"Would it be so bad if I was?"

 

 _Yes. She's mine, not yours_ , he thought, and flinched at his own possessive tone.

 

"I don't know if you'd like her,"Sapphire said, instead of all his thoughts, "She is… odd."

 

Ellison smirked against his side. "Odd in what way? Does she have a specific preference for how you use your tongue--"

 

"God, Ellis, no!"Sapphire cried, "Nothing like that. We haven't even-- agh, no, that's not it."

 

"I'm sorry. Can't really blame me for guessing that way,"Ellis snorted.

 

"You're wretched,"he huffed. "What I meant was… she's tumultuous. Hard to navigate. She gets very upset, sometimes over nothing, and I can't fix it."

 

"Sound dangerous."

 

"Not like you might think.... did you want her to be your lady?"

 

"Not really,"Ellison mumbled, "She just seemed like she'd be good at keeping me safe."

 

"You're safe already, Ellis. I'm making sure of it." No fights with the servants for him, that was for sure.

 

They sat in quiet for a bit after that. Sapphire held tight, while Ellison dozed lightly.

 

"Lady Lyss is still watching me,"he said finally.

 

Sapphire frowned. "Oh? Has she found something of concern?"

 

"Don't know. She won't tell me. It makes me nervous."

 

"I'll talk to my mistress about it. See if she can't find anything out,"he sighed, gently rubbing Ellis' shoulder.

 

Ellison nodded. His fingers drifted to the coin in his pocket, Sapphire caught them and squeezed.

 

"He's not your home, Ellis. He never was. I know you might not understand wholly--"

 

"I do,"he said in a low voice, "Or at least, I know what you think I should understand. But M… Malco was never as bad to be as he was you. Yes, there were part that I didn't like, that hurt, but only when I didn't do as I was told. He liked me."

 

Sapphire stiffened, hackles rising. "The scars on your body say otherwise, Ellison. You mean to tell me you were that bad all the time?"

 

"I was a bad kid, Sapphire. Life was hard, he made it easier."

 

His thoughts stuttered. His heart stuttered. "Ellis,"he whispered, "Don't tell me you want to go back to him."

 

Ellison averted his eyes. "... Maybe? I just… I miss him a lot, and he's got to miss me too."

 

"He named you Whore, Ellis. I think that paints a very clear picture of what he feels for you."

 

"Yeah, I didn't like that,"admitted Ellison, "But that's my job, isn't it? Do things I don't like for him. That's what you did."

 

Sapphire gripped the sheets. "It's different."

 

"Is it? You still go by your whore name, even if it isn't as vulgar as mine."

 

"Because I like it." Even if a part of him sighed in relief whenever Vysehna insisted on calling him by that dead boy's name. "It's who I am now. You're still Ellison. That man is wretched; he would skin you alive for the evening entertainment. No one should ever be forced to do the things he demands."

 

Ellis grit his teeth, sitting up straight. "You say that like you're not currently warming someone's bed."

 

"First, I am no bed warmer,"he hissed, "Second, Vysehna and Malco are two vastly different people."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Vysehna is kind, Malco is not. That's all there is to it."

 

"So let me get this straight,"Ellis sniped, "It's okay to serve a kind owner over a mean one?"

 

"He sent you on a suicide mission to kill me!"

 

Ellison looked down. "I suppose it's all black and white to you, isn't it? Since you supposedly chose this life."

 

"I did,"he insisted quietly. "I did. When I sold myself to Malco to protect our family, I made this choice. He bought me, but he stole you."

 

"I chose too! I chose to stay and be loyal to him. He would have let me leave whenever I wanted."

 

"Ellison,"Sapphire implored, "You can't actually believe that. Please, tell me you're drunk. Or ill."

 

But Ellison was looking away, twisting to face the wall. "Go away, Sapphire. Leave me alone."

 

Sapphire was left gaping, his heart ripped out. Carefully, he swallowed, "I had something I wanted to talk to you about--"

 

"I said go away!"

 

He left. Numb, Sapphire returned to the deck. A few crew hands called greetings, he didn't hear them. He ran both hands through his hair, longing for his mistress. Longing for a way to knock some sense into his brother.

 

Ellison had been doing so well. Hadn't even spoken of Malco in their time together. So what caused the shift? Maybe finding that coin had been enough to jar him back to loyalty.

 

Bile rushed to the back of his throat. When they got back to Sadon, would Ellison try and return to Malco's side? Even after everything?

 

Fuck.

 

No. He couldn't let that happen. Would not let that happen. He needed-- he needed his mistress. Vysehna would know what to do; she could speak to Lady Lyss and figure out what was going on.

 

Sapphire took a step, and halted.

 

Would Vysehna help, or would she just see Ellis as a threat? She'd only been willing to set him free when he'd seemingly turned his back on Malco. What would she do now that he relapsed? Throw him back in the brig? Sapphire wanted to believe that she might be understanding, though he knew she could get vicious when her things were threatened. And if she saw Ellison as a danger to him, there was no telling what lengths she would go to protecting him.

 

Before he could make a decision, someone shouted from up above. Sapphire turned, his stomach sinking. On the horizon was a wide, green blur.

 

Land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more stalling!
> 
> Check out my [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/Z8Z7QN21)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I lied. I'm going to keep everything in one singular section. I just feel like it would flow better. This means that I may have to periodically go back and add/rework details as they come, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I've still got a lot of working to do with my other plot, so there's no point in a hiatus yet. 
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy, and be sure to let me know what you think.

The study was eerily quiet. Vysehna thumbed her notes, the golden buttons on her jacket. Through the window, she watched as the jagged expanse of grey land transformed into a port. The water the same color, the sky white as fresh parchment.

 

Kraiel’s flag, a mad slash of robin’s egg blue through a slab of onyx, waved from every building. They were tall, overhanging buildings constructed of half stone, half sun bleached wood. From this distance, they could see the winding roads as they swept up and through, reaching their peak at the castle.

 

Vysehna averted her eyes, a shudder running down her spine. Not yet; she wasn’t ready for that. Instead, she fisted the dusty red satin of her skirt. Then released it, not wanting to crinkle the fabric after she roused early to iron it. In a dress once more. God, it was like wearing someone else’s skin. Ten weeks on the high sea, in pants and tunics, had ruined her.

 

“Here we go,”sighed Mattias.

 

“Here we go,”she echoed. He sent her an encouraging look, dressed in his finery. So were Rainier and Kaeder, in whatever livery they saved for special events. For a moment, Vysehna wondered whether or not her boy had even roused. After his fright last night, she hadn’t wanted to wake him. And, she needed the time to think. Hopefully he hadn’t used the time to oversleep.

 

A hand braced on her shoulder, Vysehna had to suppress a flinch. It was just the Captain.“We all believe in you,”said Rainier, smiling gently, “You can do it.” She swallowed, nodding. In her chest, her heart bounded, Faster than a jackrabbit, fast enough to hurt. Her toes throbbed with it, trapped in their boots.

 

_You can do it. You know everything there is to know. You can do it._

 

_You won’t let these people down. This journey isn’t for naught._

 

Something churned in her stomach. Vysehna was grateful she skipped dinner; throwing up on a noble’s shoes would not be a good first impression.

 

Moving hazes became people, horses, crates and carts. A carriage so blue it was nearly black drew up nearby, and disappeared as the Gaelyn’s massive bow stopped just short of the road. Her eyes darted to and fro, following the crew as they ran, Kaeder stepping out to bark her orders. There-- her eyes caught on Sam as he hurried to the quarter deck, throwing open the door with a gasp.

 

He was panting, smoothing down the front of his shirt and then his hair. “I’m sorry. I was talking to my brother, I didn’t realize-- I didn’t know where you were--”

 

Vysehna schooled the fear off her features and offered a smile in its place. “That’s alright. You’re here now. You look nice.”

 

It was the truth, even if seeing him dressed up made the situation all that more impending.

 

“Thank you, my Lady,”he whispered, “You look nice-- lovely, I mean. Lovely.”

 

She snorted. “You flatter me. I feel like a fish out of water.”

 

“You don’t look it.”

 

“Then I’m a fantastic liar.”

 

Awkwardly, Samuel shuffled to her side. And while he walked, Vysehna felt her stomach sink, asa that mask washed over his face. Placid, docile. _Broken_ , her mind supplied. It bled off of him in buckets. The arms tight behind his back, the stiffness of his spine. _Sapphire_ once more.

 

She wanted to tell him to cut it out, but she didn’t. Kraiel was traditional, especially when it came to slaves.

 

No matter what she felt, no matter what she called him, he was a slave.

 

Her heart ached. Gently, Vysehna grabbed his hand. She squeezed, he squeezed back. “You don’t have to be afraid,”she murmured.

 

“I’m not. I know how to be good.”

 

It was a lie. She wasn’t surprised.

 

Rainier cleared his throat, and Vysehna turned to watch as man dressed in black strode on deck, flanked by a trio of guards. Alright, no more stalling. It was time to get moving. She pressed his bundle of notes into Samuel's arms, watching as he put them in his shoulder back. One by one, they headed out the door. Vysehna first, Samuel poised attentively at her side, Mattias and Rainier at her back.

 

“You are Lady Vysehna of Alowyn?”the one in front said in the trade tongue, accent jagged and throaty. He had a mustache that twisted on the ends, skin a deep umber. He looked young.

 

Vysehna forced a grin, months upon month of etiquette training returning to the forefront of her mind. “I am, my Lord," she replied.

 

“I am Arwin of House Baelcliff, my Lady. We come to … make certain you get safely to the castle."

 

"My pleasure, Lord Arwin,"Vysehna said. She was grateful Kraiel decorum didn't require curtisies. "Allow me to introduce my companions: Captain Lawrence Rainier, Mattias Lefek, and Sapphire. He's my personal attendant."

 

Arwin nodded, dipping his head to the both of them. "Our pleasure, all of you. Come; you must be eager to be on land." She took his offered arm, picking up her skirt as they went down the ramp.

 

“It is shame you had to come during the early midseason,”Arwin was saying, “We were hoping the flowers would be in bloom by the time you arrived, but they appear to be… Misbehaving."

 

“It’s your spring, isn’t it?”mused Vysehna. She let go once they were on the docks, smoothing out the wrinkles in her gloves. “Perhaps I’ll have a chance to see them before I go."

 

Arwin smiled, and led the way up the dock. The city was mostly quiet, no shouting vendors or screeching little ones. There was a small gathering of people in the streets, mostly women and children. She watched them; they watched her.

 

"Hey-- hey! Easy, he's still got his sea legs,"Mattias yelled from behind.

 

She twisted immediately. One of the guards had grabbed Samuel by the back of his neck, her boy white as a sheet.

 

Arwin shouted something in Keurr that she didn’t catch, his men immediately releasing their grips.

 

Vysehna grit her teeth, made herself turn and walk the rest if the way to the carriage. When the four of then were bundled in together, it took off clattering down the road. "Are you okay?"Vysehna whispered. She grabbed his arm and pushed up the sleeve, where a few pale bruises were starting to bloom.

 

"He stumbled. I guess they thought he was trying to make a break for it,"grumbled Mattias. She wasn't concerned with him, instead taking Samuel's chin in her hand and forcing him to look at her.

 

"Are you alright, Pet?"

 

He wouldn't meet her gaze, eyes swimming along the ground. "Yes, my Lady."

 

"You're not too frightened?"

 

"No, my Lady."

 

Vysehna frowned. It was like talking to a bucket of water. Like his first day with her. Finally, she let him lean back against the bench, and sighed.

 

"What's the plan?"Rainier asked, "... Is there one?"

 

Resting her leg along Sam's, Vysehna shrugged, "I need to find my contact before anything. He'll tell me how warm things are. We'll go from there."

 

"Who is this guy anyways?"asked Mattias.

 

"Caius-- he's a lord of some sort, I think. I don't know, his profile wasn't part of my notes."

 

Mattias shared a look with the Captain, his brow furrowing as he said, "So, we don't know anything about this guy. Not a crest, not credentials, not even what he looks like?"

 

"He can't be hard to point out,"Vysehna quipped, temper flaring, "He'll speak Trade like a native, and probably won’t be hiding."

 

Rainier was shaking his head, drawing the shade over the carriage window. "I don't like this. It feels like we're stepping right into a trap."

 

Her mind flickered the Samuel, stricken and dying. She blinked the sight away. "It's not. Everything points to it being an easy mission. They're desperate for resources since the rebellion."

 

"Everything points to it being--"

 

"That's enough,"Vysehna stated, "We'll discuss it further once I find my contact. The first few days will be nonsense anyways."

 

Rainier shut his mouth.

 

Mattias wouldnt look at her, focused on the decorative carvings in the carriage's wall. "Are there any glaring issues with etiquette we need to know? We've all read your notes, and I'm sure Sapphire knows court like the back of his hand, but you know Kraiel better than any of us."

 

She took a deep breath. Soothed her ruffled feathers. "They're not that intent when it comes to posture. Bowing, curtsies, none of it matters. Titles are more important, but not really. You can greet the royal family like any other noble, just with their respective honorifics."

 

"What about… me,"Samuel hedged.

 

She grabbed his hand, finding his gloves damp with sweat. "You're going to be watched, probably closer than I am. Caius' letters indicated that the servants played a big part in the uprising. Just stay close, be quiet, and act like…"

 

"A slave?"he finished.

 

Vysehna swallowed, "I'm sorry." He just smiled, squeezing her hand.

 

"It's okay. It is what it is."

 

Vysehna looked down. It wasn't okay, not really. Calling him a slave was like calling one of those scrunchy-faced lap dog a wolf. Maybe, once upon a time. Things we different now. He was a slave, yes. Subservient to her, her wishes and demands, and yet so much more.

 

It was a conversation for another time. When they were alone.

 

The carriage jolted and wobbled, as it took them further and further away from the water. She missed the ship already.

 

"Least it's not freezing,"Mattias sighed.

 

"It will be when it gets dark,"Vysehna warned, "This country won't see proper weather for another few weeks yet. Sam-- I mean, Sapphire, your outerwear is with mine in the trunks."

 

Her pet frowned a bit, head tilted. "When will I be going outside after dark, my Lady?"

 

"Who knows,"she shrugged, "But you're my personal attendant. You go where I go, most often."

 

He made a face, just barely a purse of his lips. "I think I liked Pet better,"he murmured.

 

Vysehna was inclined to agree, and might have said something if Rainier hadn't coughed.

 

"It's best you don't appear too attached. They might see it as weakness."

 

"They think he's my whore; wouldn't it make sense that we're closer than the average master and slave?"Vysehna questioned.

 

"I don't know,"shrugged the Captain, "But if they're as suspicious as you claim, it would be wise not to appear too relaxed with him." He gestured to their clasped hands.

 

Samuel immediately snatching his away, breathing, "He's right. No proper Lady would ever be seen loving on her whore, let alone an attendant."

 

"They're two different things?"Mattias asked, looking vaguely uncomfortable. "Isn't 'personal attendant' just a nice way of saying whore?"

 

"Yes and no. Most proper attendants don't serve in a sexual manner, while most whores might serve other purposes. It's like--"he blew out a breath, fiddling with his gloves, "You can call whores personal attendants, but not always vice versa."

 

Aware of Mattias looking at her now, Vysehna cleared her throat, "Perhaps you and I need to discuss this further when we're alone."

 

Samuel's expression vacated again, and he dipped his head, "Yes Ma'am."

 

The rest of the journey was spent in silence. Then the road changed, smoothed out, then the carriage stopped. Samuel got out first, assisting her down the step. A cart drew up alongside theirs, carrying their luggage. Arwin and his men stepped off, the former smiling still.

 

"My Lady, if you'll follow me inside, we can get things underway."

 

She nodded, gesturing for Samuel to come to her side. They ascended the great stone staircase leading to the castle's front, while servants rushed from its massive doors to gather luggage. It was wide, big enough to hold a large ship and then some, but it was all stone. No gold, no silver or marble. Just stone, flags, and glittering panes of colored glass.

 

“We’ve got a suite of rooms for all three of you,”Arwin said, “Will that be sufficient, my Lady?”

 

“That’s more than enough, thank you for your hospitality,”Vysehna replied, smiling sweetly.

 

“... will your attendant require a bed of his own?”

 

She glanced at Samuel, and found him watching the servants as they carried in their things. "No,"she decided at length, "That will be unnecessary."

 

"As you say. Please, if you'll follow me this way…"

 

Vysehna and her entourage followed after Arwin, taking in the scenes in silence. More stone halls. She counted the turns. Two lefts, right, left, stairs. Then they entered the residential quarter of the castle. She could tell because the harsh, bare stone gave way to tapestries, portraits, busts and hanging plants. The opposing wall was a sheet of glass, patterned in blue and green squares.

 

Vysehna turned, and found that they faced the ocean.

 

It seemed so far away. The Gaelyn, her flag, was little more than a fingerprint on a writing slate.

 

Arwin stopped in front of a set of doors, both red tinged wood, one painted with a rose, and another with a snapdragon. "These will be your rooms. His Royal Highness, the Crown Prince, will be ready shortly. The servants will be delivering your things between here and then."

 

"I'm meeting with the prince first?"Vysehna inquired, gesturing for Samuel to enter the rose room.

 

"The Prince is in charge of diplomatic affairs, as the King has… more dire things to focus on,"Arwin replied. He gave her a warm, almost apologetic look. "Of course, his Majesty will approve the final agreement."

 

Vysehna nodded, gathered up her dress, and said, "Thank you, Arwin. I'm looking forward to it."

 

The door snicked shut behind her without a sound.

 

"It's nice,"Samuel whispered. Vysehna hummed her agreement, peering around the little sitting room. The ceilings went up for several feet, the domed with stain glass portholes that turned the sunlight pink and turquoise.

 

She whistled a bit, turning, "They love their colors, don't they?"

 

It made sense. Kraiel wasn't known for their bustling flora and fauna. People made beauty where they couldn't find it. She walked forward, opening the door directly ahead, and behold the equally bright bedroom.

 

"Three doors? Two bedrooms, and a bath?"Vysehna asked, turning to look at him. Samuel was staring at the second door, tucked against one of the corners and behind a pillar. He sighed.

 

"I don't think its a bedroom."

 

"What makes you say that?"

 

"If it was a bedroom, it wouldn't be be so out of the way."

 

Samuel walked to the door as if in a daze, shuffling around couches and low tables, and walked into the mystery room. She followed, wrinkling her nose at the strong smell of perfumes.

 

It was darker, the ceiling lower, lit only by a few choice sconces. An ottoman was pressed against the wall, besides it a vanity. Samuel was lighting the candles with a striker, going until the mirror was light and no longer swathed in black.

 

"What are these?"she asked, reaching for one of the dishes on the tabletop. She sniffed at the contents, and when she looked up, the tip of her nose was black. Samuel chuckled. He took the dish, offering her a handkerchief from his pocket.

 

"Cosmetics."

 

"For me?"

 

"For me."

 

Vysehna froze, scowling. "What is this room, Sam?"

 

"I… suspect it was meant for me,"he breathed. He pointed to a space in the wall where a bare bed frame was lying desolate, curtained off by a slip of gauze. "If you told them to make a bed up for me, it would have been in here."

 

She could only blink, and stare at him. "I'm sorry,"she offered. Samuel shrugged. He ran a finger over the vanity, sat on the ottoman and kicked out his legs.

 

"Did you want a separate bed?"

 

"No-- no, never,"he said quickly, "No. I've always been honored to share your bed. It's always been a joy."

 

She smiled, going over to run her hand over his head  "Then could you do me a favor and stop looking so miserable?"

 

Sam laughed, pressing a kiss to her pulse point. "I'm sorry, my Lady. I'm just… not excited."

 

"Is it because I called you my personal assistant?"

 

He snorted, "No, it's not that. I don't care about that. I am… concerned, about what the Captain said."

 

"About this being a trap?"

 

"Yes, but I've always felt that way about court. It's all nonsense."

 

She could agree with that, even if she didn't really want to. Things would be much easier if they didn't have to play games.

 

"Kraiel is infamous for being simplistic,"Vysehna assured. "I think it will be an easy first mission. I won't have to battle with courtly intrigue."

 

"Nothing is ever simple, not when it comes to kings and kingdoms,"he whispered.

 

"Then I'm glad I have you with me."

 

Samuel smiled again, pressing his head to her chest.

 

She knew there were things to do. They could do endless planning, resting, exploring, and yet all she wanted to do was spend time with her boy. The coming weeks might not be good to him, and Vysehna wanted to assure him that he would always be important to her.

 

Slowly, her hand drifted from his head to his spine. Samuel tilted his head back, the candlelight flickering over his face, as he nuzzled the crook of her jaw.

 

"Sweet boy,"she murmured. Samuel laughed, bracing a hand on her lower back. "When you get the chance, send the makeup away. I told you I didn't want you wearing it, and I meant it."

 

"Yes mistress,”he murmured.

 

They stayed like that for a little while, just enjoying each other's warmth. Enjoying the peace, before all the nonsense started.

 

A thunk sounded from beyond the door. Vysehna stiffened.

 

"That would be the servants,"Sapphire whispered, his brow furrowed. "They'd best not be dropping your things. My Lady, if you'd allow me--"

 

"Go on. Take care of it."

 

He sighed, pushing himself to his feet and walking out. No one was speaking, which perhaps was the most amusing thing.

 

Eventually Samuel peeked in, "Everything's been delivered, my Lady. Lord Arwin has arrived."

 

In the comfort of darkness, Vysehna grimaced. By the time she exited, it had become a smile instead. "Very well. Put away what needs to be out away, then join me in the--"she glanced to Arwin, who smiled in return, "I'm sorry, where will we be?"

 

"The Prince favors the solarium, so that's where we'll be. Find any servant and they'll direct you,"he told Samuel.

 

"Of course. Thank you, my Lord,"Samuel whispered. He grabbed the nearest chest, one of his own, she realized, and lugged it into the bedroom.

 

Vysehna eyed the closed door. It didn't feel right to leave him alone, certainly not in a foreign territory.

 

"He's a pleasant thing, isn't he?"Arwin commented. He offered his arm again, much to her surprise. Something in her chest tightened, some sort of uncertainty she didn't want to acknowledge.

 

_Make them like you. You need alliances, until you can find Caius._

 

She took it, chuckling lightly as he led her from the room, "He's satisfactory enough. He's loyal, does as I say, and doesn't cause any trouble."

 

"That's all you can ask of a good servant,"Arwin mused, "If you don't want him, we will welcome him with open arms. For a good price, as well. Proper servants are lacking, around this place."

 

Vysehna laughed again, because it was expected. "I think not. He was a gift, it would be uncouth to give him away."

 

"I… do not know that word,"Arwin said, his smile turning sheepish.

 

She blinked. “Uncouth? Oh, I’m sorry. I meant that it would be ungrateful, certainly when he’s been nothing but docile.”

 

That seemed to satisfy him. They retraced their steps partway to the foyer, turning down a corridor before the final left, and only stopped when he opened a door of solid blue glass.

 

"Your Royal Highness, allow me to introduce Lady Vysehna of Alowyn. My Lady, Crown Prince Carden of House Stormbreaker."

 

Her spine locked, mind stuttering, as she took him in. The notes had included portraits, but she wasn't prepared to actually see him.

 

"My Lady,"the prince chimed, rising to his feet from where he'd been lounging on a little stone bench, dressed in the colors of his country.

 

She swallowed, stepping forward in a near daze, "Your Highness. It's a pleasure."

 

He was exactly as she'd imagined. Pale, hair a rich sable, just… much taller. Taller than Samuel, probably even Mattias. His skin was infinitely warmer than the both of them as he took her hand, and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

 

"I'm honored to finally welcome you into my home, Lady Vysehna. How do you like it so far?"

 

She found herself laughing on a nervous impulse, "I've only just arrived, your highness. But thus far, it's been as beautiful as described. Your steward is certainly pleasant."

 

"Arwin? Oh, yes, he's the most biddable of the staff,"Carden replied, voice light. His eyes flicked over her shoulder, and that was when Vysehna became aware of another presence in the room.

 

Two of them. A man and a woman, dressed in servants' uniforms, standing straight against the wall.

 

Carden made a noise in the back of his throat, "Pay the servants no mind, my Lady. Would you like to sit?"he gestured to a bench adjacent to his.

 

With all the grace of a wayward lamb, she did. "Shall we begin discussing--"

 

"Now now,"the prince chided, in a way that made her blood roil, "I've been waiting to meet you ever since your associate first made mention. Let's talk like normal people before we get to the chest-puffing. I like to make friends before I make enemies."

 

Vysehna blinked. "As... you wish. What would you like to discuss?"

 

"I've long since admired your country, and your uncle. Perhaps you could tell me of Ferdal?"

 

She narrowed her eyes. The first few days of a negotiation were usually bits and banter, but Vysehna never anticipated talking this closely with the prince of another country. She never spoke closely with the prince of her own nation, and they were cousins. And yet here was the illustrious Prince Carden of House Stormbreaker, famous for his part in uniting the people during the civil war, looking at her with those snake's eyes.

 

They were nearly knee to knee.

 

In that moment, as the midday sun filtered through the windows and winding foliage, Vysehna began to genuinely ponder when she lost her mind.

 

"Well, it's about as cold as your country,"she hedged, "Our summers are a tad bit warmer, if I understand correctly. We're largely centered on agriculture, though Sadon could be considered a technological powerhouse, what with the university--"

  


"Tell me of Alowyn."

  


Vysehna paused. "I beg your pardon?"

  


"Tell me if Alowyn,"he repeated, "I want to know about your homeland."

 

"What would you like to know?"she inquired. Carden's eyes were twinkling.

 

 _Why there of all places? Alowyn is useless_.

 

The prince beckoned a servant forward, the young man bringing forward two chalices of wine.

 

"It was your land, was it not?"Carden asked as he drank.

 

Scowling into her cup, Vysehna feigned a swallow. The burn of alcohol stung her tongue, but not much else. "It was, once. Now it belongs to the Crown."

 

"Pity."

 

"I suppose,"she hedged, "But I never would have been able to do anything with it. Nobility as such was never my calling."

 

"And what is your calling, Lady Vysehna."

 

Since her real answer would have likely gotten her thrown from the castle, she shrugged, glancing out the window at the little courtyard beneath. "I quite enjoy the diplomatic life. Meeting new people, seeing new things."

 

Carden lifted his glass again, and when he next set it down, it was completely empty.

 

He slid closer, face nearing hers, mouth reeking of expensive cologne. Before Vysehna could even speak, his hand was on her thigh. Like striking lightning she lunged, knife poised to plunge through his throat.

 

"I don't know if you're drunk, or high, or drugged, but you'd better sit your ass down," she hissed, "I don't care what house you're from or what crown you wear, if you ever touch me again, I'll slit your throat and watch you bleed out on the floor."

 

The prince blinked at her, eyes wide with surprise. They stayed like that for a heartbeat. Two. Three. Her heavy breathing the only sound between them. A wide grin split across his face,

 

"There's that temper we heard about,"he whispered, "I was wondering where it was, under the Diplomat's facade."

 

She pressed harder, threatening to break skin. "Sit. Down."

 

Carden held up his hands, settling back on the bench with a little huff.

 

Slowly, Vysehna retreated, her eyes darting to the servants. They weren’t even watching."You mean to tell me that this was a all a ploy? For what purpose?"

 

"For fun,"Carden said, laughing, "in part, anyways. But I meant with I said. I want to talk like normal people, not nobility."

 

Vysehna scoffed. She couldn't help it. "You could have given me, I don’t know, ten seconds to relax. Is everyone in your House like this?"

 

"My mother is. She's even better at ferreting out fools than I am."

 

She shook her head, lost. The knife clicked close as she put it back in the little pocket sewn into her jacket sleeve.

 

"That was some quick work, I must say,"Carden chimed. With one leg braced over the other, he looked so relaxed it was hard to believe she'd almost slit his throat. "I didn't even think you were armed."

 

"That's a lie. You knew I had something, "she quipped.

 

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? How do you know I wasn't about to have my way with you."

 

"Because I would have kicked your ass for trying, armed or not."

 

To her surprise, the prince barked out a laugh. "Oh, I _like_ you. Please, let us do the real-people talk from here on, yes? You're the most entertaining person to walk into the castle in months."

 

"Nonsense,"Vysehna snorted, her hackles settling, "Surely my associate must be far more entertaining. I hear he's good with jokes."

 

Carden flicked a ringed finger, summoning one of the servants to refill his glass. As he held it out, he said, "With all due respect, my Lady, Lord Caius Malco is not the sort that I enjoy spending my company with. You, on the other hand--"

 

She paused. Blinked. Something heavy landed in her stomach. “I’m sorry,”she said at length, "What did you say?"

 

"Your associate is a bit of a wild card, Lady. I don't like to be around him if possible,"the prince reiterated slowly. “I mean no offense.”

 

 _Not real_ , her mind whirred, _a trick._

 

But what was the logic in that?

 

Vysehna cleared her throat. "If you wouldn't mind, your royal highness, where is my associate?"

 

"As I said, I don't care for his company. I think he and my father might have gone for a ride this morning. I'm not certain." He gestured again for the servant, "I'll have him go and see, if you'd like."

 

Vysehna stared at the door, stared at the young man perched to leave besides it.

 

"Yes,"she said at last. "If you would. And you--"the breath rasped out of her lungs, too loud,  the room swaying, as she pointed to the female servant,"-- send my attendant to see my companions. I don't want him getting into trouble."

 

The pair left without a word, the door clicking quietly behind them.

 

"You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you alright, my Lady?"the Prince chuckled.

 

"Oh, I'm fine,"Vysehna said distantly, over the ringing in her ears, "I'm just eager to finally see my associate."

 

Ellison said Malco hadn't been around for awhile. Was this where he went? Playing the diplomat in a faraway land?

 

She should have heeded Rainier's concerns. This was a trap.

 


End file.
